Bluesman1952

Gotta watch my 7 yr old grandchild everyday so my daughter can work - Hard to detox with a responsibility like that on my hands. Feel like crying....

I'll be back later - gotta go.

Bratforlife

I'm saddened to hear of your struggle - which is my same struggle. I was sober for many years and then went back to drinking. For the past 2 years I have been trying to quit, but can't even seem to get in 2 days in a row. I wish I had some good advice, but really can only say what the others have been saying to you. However, obviously, I'm in the same boat as you. I just hope we swim rather than sink. I will say a prayer for the two of us.

MrsKing

Any way that someone else can look after her for a week so that you can get over the worst of it?

Bluesman1952

No - I am all she's got. Both parents work and there isn't enough $$$ for camp or day care. I'll be ok. She makes me smile. She lets me lay down for a while till my head clears. Funny, last night my son came to me and asked if I please stop drinking - I told him I just did and he was really happy - He is 19. I must have really been bothering him emotionally. How do I repay him?

amya30

I can relate bluesman. I'm alone with my 6yo son 6000 miles from any family. My symptoms got so bad last night I ended up drinking half a beer just to cope. I didn't get one minutes sleep and really felt at one point I was going to die. But I'm determined to it this time!! I've never been able to more than a day or two without a drink but that's mean I can't do it this time and if I can do it then you can

Bluesman1952

I didn't drink last night for the first time since November! There are 2 Bud Lights in the fridge: I just poured them out. God beats the Devil in this round! I am lucky to have what I have in this life. I wanna be around for a while. Peace!

amya30

I'll keep drinking my half beers 3 or 4 times a day if I really half for a while. I'm terrified my son will walk on me having a seizure. Getting him stuck here alone is why I can't put quitting any longer. If I don't do it now I know I'll dye soon. I can just feel it.

Bluesman1952

I can't give advice on that since I am the same as you, but I have read articles that say you can slow it down rather than go cold turkey. I can't. I know if I get a taste it's over. See a Dr. if you are worried. Best thing I can tell you. Prayers coming your way....

zjw

I quit with just about a full case of beer in the fridge. Never poured em. They where my 30 best friends how could i do such a thing. My wife months later would say come on cant we pour these you havent drank in months. I'd say nope leave em alone!!. Finally one day i had friends over they wanted beer so i let em drink it all while i watched them enjoy it and I didnt drink any.

For me I wanted to beat it without pouring em. once i had i still had this special attachment to em too ::facepalm::

Feels good to wake up the next day having not drank the night prior

Bluesman1952

I guess that nice feeling will come to me soon - I am bored all the time - I have my grandchild 10 hours a day and by the time somebody picks her up, I am ready for bed, yet I still have to cook for the family. I just feel my life is a waste.

FreddyFatal

You can do it.. the past does not equal the future. Just try again..!

Bluesman1952

I have no doubt after reading all these posts that I can do it. The thing is, what kind of life am I in for as I have nothing to keep me busy except cutting the grass once a month. I have no interest in anything anymore. I am on disability and my wife works. She has weekends off and we don't even have enough money to do anything. I feel bad for her. Another issues I have is I always look way into the future. She works 12 more years, God willing, then she retires and we have to sell our house. I'll be 72 if I live that long - I have a mortgage. After the mortgage is paid we won't have enoough to buy another place or even pay health insurance. See??? I look way ahead and see gloom and doom.

Live2Run25

Good bluesman!!! you can do this!!!

Dee74

I'm also on disability, I live on next to nothing - but I'm happy, I have everything I need - food, shelter, reasonable health and people who love me - and my life is fuller now than it ever was when I was working full time.

The first step for me in changing my perspective on my life was getting into volunteering. It not only gave me something to do...it helped others too...and like I said it *really* helped me with my perspective on things.

You might consider it Bluesman - I really recommend it

D

Bluesman1952

I have no problem with volunteering, except I baby-sit my grandchild everyday, so I would have to find something at night, but thanks for the tip!

Dee74

just a suggestion

I have cerebral palsy and I'm often house bound - when I do break cover I can't get too far...despite all that, my life is amazingly full.

I guess my point was - if our lifes not what we want it to be, there's a lot we can do to make it that way, if we want to...even without money power or influence

best of luck BM

D

Bluesman1952

I hear that from a lot of people - "If you don't like what you are, you have the choice to change it" I guess it is up to me to either find a way to start enjoying my guitar again and write songs, or give up.

zjw

I know a guy he's a great father has a crappy house crappy cars 3 kids. Happy as a clam and a good father. I said geeze i've got what i got which is much more then him and i'm a miserable soul. Whats wrong with me? Perspective has a lot to do with it.

I met another guy rides up on a bicycle. Says he just got done seeing his daughter. HIm and his wife split up he's homeless all he has is that bike. I said wow gosh thinking about my troubles I thought he has way worse then me poor guy. He says but i'm happy he says i dunno where bottom is but i aint hit yet tonight i'm gonna sleep under the stars and it'll be great.

I was out for a walk went to my neighbor i was having a bad day probs probs probs. First thing i did was tell the neighbor about my prob to which he tells me his wife broke her hip and was in the hospital he was all broken up. I felt really bad even mentioning my problem to him cause my problem was nothing compared to his.

Someone told me one time i sound like an idiot I'm like the guy who's complaining i dont like my shoes to the guy who doesnt have any feet.

Perspective makes a big difference.

Pondlady

You have things in your life you care about...your granddaughter and music. You are caring for your family by providing childcare and cooking dinner. Find some simple pleasures.....reading, walking etc. There are probably volunteer opportunities you could do with your granddaughter.....and you two could get dinner together during the day Just a few thoughts to make the best of your situation.

You say you cry if you don't drink. Maybe you need to think about why you cry.....I'm learning a ot about WHY I drank. Believe me......drinking doesn't make anything better and in the long run, won't make you happy.

Hang in there!

Bluesman1952

Everybody makes greats points here and we all sound like we are or at least were the same at one point. I cry.....I cry because I think of the situation I put my family in financially. I mean, we are doing OK because my wife works, but that's not going to be forever. I don't want to leave this house and have to sell it. I want it for my kids to have and I must think of a way to produce income. I also cry because I fear death and leaving people behind. Last night I had no sleep, but I am still sober. My head isn't clear yet but it is only 2 days. I feel pretty lousy to tell the truth.