defense

Hi all,

I am new, so I thought I would introduce myself.
I am 27, father of two, future divorcee. I like to hunt, fish, hang out, and drink a lot of alcohol. Any kind of alcohol is fine, I'm having a beer now because I polished off the gin last nite , and skipped work because i was still drunk when my boss called me at 9. I am the son of a wonderful mother who is recovering every day for at least 20 years.
Usually I drink to get drunk, its what I do along with a lot of people my age. Difference is I drink a lot and get f'ed up and do f'ed up stuff. I'm starting to think I should quit, but I likely won't. At least I would like to slow down, hope I can because i need a job, I need my boys, and I'm sick of feeling like crap.

zjw

Quitings a start. I'm a hair older not much and a father as well. I drank to get trashed and cope with life day in and day out. I'm much happier now that I dont drink anymore. It was a difficult task to put it down but I'm glad I did. I find i'm better with my kids now too so that helps.
I hope you give quiting a whirl if you do so and stick it out you wont be sorry you did.

CarolD

Welcome to our SR Alcoholism Forum...

There is nothing I know of that is done better with alcohol...
Yor sober Mom can be a great positive asset to your stopping...

Sudz No More

Give it a shot Bud, it is a long road but starting down the right path now will lay the foundation for future success.

Live2Run25

Don't wait until everything in your life is gone to make the change. You should do it now while you still have your life. Please, if you have the slightest inkling you aren't a normal drinker, please stop now.

Dee74

welcome defense
you'll find a lot of support and ideas here.

good to have you with us

D

defense

I am considering going to meetings again, just didn't feel right last time I did that. I am struggling with life in general at this point, besides drinking too much, I am battling anxiety every day. I know I am not alone, it just feels that way alot. Thanks for listening and support.

zjw

I felt alone real alone. I still do in some regards. But coming to a board like this and going to aa and seeing theres a whole world of people that know exactly what i'm talking about well its very comforting. I battled bad anxiety and panic it just got worse and worse the more i drank. The drinking made it better while drinking but then it was 10 times worse the next day. Its what drove me to quiting I had no idea what was wrong with me and could only assume it must be the drinking. I didnt even know what a panic attack was even tho i was having em all the time. I thought i was dieing of soemthing till i described it to someone else who drank a lot who said oh its a panic attack no big deal have a drink. *sigh*

Its better to quit sooner then later i know you've prolly heard that. I know i heard it and thought nothing of it. I wish i would have listened but I'm glad i finally did quit.

your not alone theres plenty of other drinkers with the same problems as you.

Hevyn

Welcome defense. I understand how you feel about quitting. When I was your age it would never have occurred to me to give it up. So I went on into my 50's, insisting I could manage it. I was wrong. In the end, I'd racked up 3 dui's, alienated friends & family, almost lost my job, ruined my finances and health....the list goes on.

The day I decided to quit I'd been drinking for weeks, all day - every day. All I felt was numb, not happy or high. I was slowly killing myself & had no joy left. The thing I was using to lessen my anxiety was making it much worse. That never has to be you. We're glad you're here - hope you'll find it to be a helpful place.

MrsKing

Hi Defense, welcome to SR. I hope you find the support and understanding here that I have.

I'm 24 and I've been sober for over 3 months now. It's not easy at first, but it is worth it all in the end... over time sobriety becomes the norm and life starts to look up, until you realise that nothing, absolutely nothing, was made better/helped by alcohol - all it ever did was destroy. I know that it is all so very daunting right now, but you CAN do this.

Your relationship with alcohol will not get better, it only ever gets worse.

Your mother is an inspiration!

defense

I don't know why a guy drinks so much if it makes me feel like crap in the end. Thinking back, I have gone sober for a few weeks, and it was good. I think there deal is that it is in my nature to blame mshelf for everything then get down on myself, I have been working on that and it is getting better. But if i quit I think I am worried about hurting my pride.

MetalChick

I drank for a long time after it made me feel like crap, I guess I thought I could magically get back to the days when I used to have fun drinking. Now it hurts more to drink then to not.

Try commenting to not drinking for 90 days? But keep coming back to this room. It helps a lot.

zjw

It was tough for me because well people around me drink its what you do not in my immediate household persay but friends and what not getting a case of beer daily or every other day is routine around these parts hell if you have a keg fridge your on top of the world. I was worried i'd feel less of a person without it. I figured it was the one thing actually keeping my sanity when in reality it was the one thing robbing me of it. Some of that getting down on your self stuff goes away when you quit Its hard to describe its like while your drinking your minds a bit twisted. Once you give it up things start to be come more clear and you dont have some of the same issues you had while drinking.

I tried moderation haha that never worked. I'll just have a few.... a few in well that was a good try lemme just try that again tommorrow and i'd pound em back. There was no off button once i started. I couldnt even skip a day. I told myself i could but i'd figure whats the point in that and i'd just keep drinking. my life revolved around it. we could be out and i'd be getting fidgity that we need to get home as we are out a bit late and now its interfering with my drinking time.
I thankfully dont have those issues anymore.

Bratforlife

Welcome! I am new here also but in the few days that I have been posting on this thread and another, I can tell you that there are a lot of people that care and will offer you support. You have no idea what a gift your age is and to be realizing that you have a big problem. Please try your hardest to stop now while you have a long life ahead of you. That long life will certainly be shortened if you don't stop. Good luck and please let us know how you're doing.

MetalChick

Defense, I have done so many stupid things drunk I don't have much pride left. Yes, it was a humbling experience to admit I had a problem, but I am not going to let pride stop me.

TexasBloom

For me, when it came to drinking and panic attacks/anxiety, there was no "controlling it with drinking" or "cutting down" because the anxiety was still there. Regular fear and panic do feed off each other, but are also very different beasts.

The only solution has been complete sobriety. As I went through withdrawals, the panic did get a little worse the first few days, and I was told to make sure I was at meetings as much as I could be. That built a support network while I was going through withdrawals. At ten years sober, I finally sought help for the anxiety and childhood abuse, and wondered how I'd ever made it that far. I caused myself to suffer more by not seeking help for that. Recovery was amazing, but it turns out I had a medical condition (PTSD) that also needed addressing. My therapist told me point-blank that had I still been drinking, she wouldn't have treated me because we drink to mask the anxiety and it feeds both the anxiety beast and the alkie beast within.

One meeting. One day. Today.
While there, get phone numbers, call those guys, and get into the steps ASAP.

Wake up tomorrow, do it again.
Repeat.

The steps will save your life. You may or may not get to keep the job and kids, but they don't determine your sobriety any way. Plenty of people with panic do get and stay sober, and you can too. If you're done, you know.

lillyknitting

Hold on tight because it gets worse, much worse. You are only young so I hope an pray that you can get the message now before you have a life of he'll. Of course it might just kill you first.