Ashamed and Scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 1
Ashamed and Scared
Hi,
I'm a 30-year-old female and I have suffered from anxiety and panic issues all my life. In the past couple of years I have found myself drinking to help numb the pain and mental anguish. Today I hit a breaking point.
I began having a panic attack at work. Probably the worst I've ever had. I was scared out of my mind. All I could do was pace all over the place; I was scared of making a scene and scared of passing out- I needed to calm down. I had to excuse myself and I bolted outside, ran to a drugstore across the street, bought a bottle of vodka, went into a public restroom, and took a swig. I wasn't craving the alcohol (please know that I'm aware that I have a problem and I'm certainly not denying it), but I was at a point where I felt this was my only hope for not going out of my mind. It didn't help much. I went back into work and had to tell my boss that I felt sick and needed to go home.
I am SO ashamed and embarrassed. I have a wonderful life and a man that I care so much for. I can't believe I did this and can't stop thinking about it. I'm crying as I type this. I feel worthless and I'm scared of everything right now. I just don't know what to do.
I'm a 30-year-old female and I have suffered from anxiety and panic issues all my life. In the past couple of years I have found myself drinking to help numb the pain and mental anguish. Today I hit a breaking point.
I began having a panic attack at work. Probably the worst I've ever had. I was scared out of my mind. All I could do was pace all over the place; I was scared of making a scene and scared of passing out- I needed to calm down. I had to excuse myself and I bolted outside, ran to a drugstore across the street, bought a bottle of vodka, went into a public restroom, and took a swig. I wasn't craving the alcohol (please know that I'm aware that I have a problem and I'm certainly not denying it), but I was at a point where I felt this was my only hope for not going out of my mind. It didn't help much. I went back into work and had to tell my boss that I felt sick and needed to go home.
I am SO ashamed and embarrassed. I have a wonderful life and a man that I care so much for. I can't believe I did this and can't stop thinking about it. I'm crying as I type this. I feel worthless and I'm scared of everything right now. I just don't know what to do.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome....
Panic attacks and anxiety are not part of my medical history
either as a drinker or a non drinker. So sorry to know
they are yours.
I can only suggest you have an honest talk with your doctor
and see what course is recomendded by him/her.
We are not allowed or qualified to give medical advice and only a
professional would know
Prayers for your peace going out
Panic attacks and anxiety are not part of my medical history
either as a drinker or a non drinker. So sorry to know
they are yours.
I can only suggest you have an honest talk with your doctor
and see what course is recomendded by him/her.
We are not allowed or qualified to give medical advice and only a
professional would know
Prayers for your peace going out
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I decided to get sober becuase of anxiety and panic attacks. I'm a little over a year sober now and I dont have panic attacks any more. I do still have anxiety but things have gotten much better since I quit drinking.
I tried a lot of things to calm those panic attacks. The last thing i thought that could be causing it was my drinking. Then i started doing some research on it. I was at my wits end I didnt know what else to try so put down the bottle and its gotten better. I dont recall the last panic attack i had. I had them after i quit but they promptly got less intense and things started to improve.
I did a variety of other things to help manage it along the way. I 'm not going to say i'm 100% yet but lifes way better then it was.
I tried a lot of things to calm those panic attacks. The last thing i thought that could be causing it was my drinking. Then i started doing some research on it. I was at my wits end I didnt know what else to try so put down the bottle and its gotten better. I dont recall the last panic attack i had. I had them after i quit but they promptly got less intense and things started to improve.
I did a variety of other things to help manage it along the way. I 'm not going to say i'm 100% yet but lifes way better then it was.
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
I can relate. I struggled with anxiety before I ever picked up a drink. The booze helped my anxiety for a few years before the alcohol use progressed. Then the alcohol got out of hand and made the anxiety & depression worse. It is a horrible vicious cycle. I have a limited number of anxiety meds per month that help. Staying sober & exercising helps also.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 12
Hi Lacie
Sorry to hear you are feeling so upset. I recommend going to see a doctor or therapist for the panic attacks. Then you can sort through the drinking with them. Try not to beat yourself up so much (or at all). You are feeling very vulnerable right now... although drinking on top of a Panic attack is not the best idea... you were trying to feel better. See if you can find someone who specializes in both substance abuse and anxiety issues. Hang in there and glad you posted
Sorry to hear you are feeling so upset. I recommend going to see a doctor or therapist for the panic attacks. Then you can sort through the drinking with them. Try not to beat yourself up so much (or at all). You are feeling very vulnerable right now... although drinking on top of a Panic attack is not the best idea... you were trying to feel better. See if you can find someone who specializes in both substance abuse and anxiety issues. Hang in there and glad you posted
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 889
Welcome. I have had a few panic attacks in my life and they are awful. I will say all of them have been a direct result of alcohol and drugs. Typically they all happened the day after drinking a lot. I have later learned that they were directly linked to alcohol withdrawl.
Did you drink yesterday?
Just curious.
Did you drink yesterday?
Just curious.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by Lacie 
Hi,
I'm a 30-year-old female and I have suffered from anxiety and panic issues all my life. In the past couple of years I have found myself drinking to help numb the pain and mental anguish. Today I hit a breaking point.
I began having a panic attack at work. Probably the worst I've ever had. I was scared out of my mind. All I could do was pace all over the place; I was scared of making a scene and scared of passing out- I needed to calm down. I had to excuse myself and I bolted outside, ran to a drugstore across the street, bought a bottle of vodka, went into a public restroom, and took a swig. I wasn't craving the alcohol (please know that I'm aware that I have a problem and I'm certainly not denying it), but I was at a point where I felt this was my only hope for not going out of my mind. It didn't help much. I went back into work and had to tell my boss that I felt sick and needed to go home.
I am SO ashamed and embarrassed. I have a wonderful life and a man that I care so much for. I can't believe I did this and can't stop thinking about it. I'm crying as I type this. I feel worthless and I'm scared of everything right now. I just don't know what to do.
I'm a 30-year-old female and I have suffered from anxiety and panic issues all my life. In the past couple of years I have found myself drinking to help numb the pain and mental anguish. Today I hit a breaking point.
I began having a panic attack at work. Probably the worst I've ever had. I was scared out of my mind. All I could do was pace all over the place; I was scared of making a scene and scared of passing out- I needed to calm down. I had to excuse myself and I bolted outside, ran to a drugstore across the street, bought a bottle of vodka, went into a public restroom, and took a swig. I wasn't craving the alcohol (please know that I'm aware that I have a problem and I'm certainly not denying it), but I was at a point where I felt this was my only hope for not going out of my mind. It didn't help much. I went back into work and had to tell my boss that I felt sick and needed to go home.
I am SO ashamed and embarrassed. I have a wonderful life and a man that I care so much for. I can't believe I did this and can't stop thinking about it. I'm crying as I type this. I feel worthless and I'm scared of everything right now. I just don't know what to do.
Hi,
Sorry for what you are going thru. Be assured MANY of us have gone thru the same thing. You are not alone.
I would suggest checking with your HR department and get information on FMLOA (Family Medical Leave Of Absence). This is a law that would allow you 12 weeks off (per year) for medical reasons. There are certain criteria that must be met:
1: Employer has to employe over a certain amount of employees
2: You have to have worked there a year or 1,280 hours (I believe thats
correct)
3: You have to live within 50miles of your job.
These are the requirements for Califonia. May be a little different in your state. Remember, HR does not need to know the reason other that it is a medical/personal situation. While you are on this leave you can receive Disability benefits. Your doctor can help you with this
Go to your doctor and tell him/her you need help and need time off to clean yourself up. Tell your doctor you want to stop drinking (I hope you want to stop) and that you need his/her help.
Shaking/Anxiety was the worst part for me. Doctors can prescribe meds to help you get thur this. Also, be willing to do inpatient detox or outpatient detox if your doctor believes you need it.
There is help.....do a bit of research. My first call would be to my doctor, then to HR.
Good Luck,
T.I.A.B
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