MetalChick

I had a horrible day yesterday; huge 3+ hour fight with my BF, more like a sit there and listen to him yell. Then I just had to get out of the house and had a flat tire. I get home and my friend calls asking me for another loan, and bitches me out big time when I said no. He is on drugs, so I can’t loan him anymore money. I never get it back when I do.

I wanted to scream, "can’t people and the universe cut me some slack until I get better? I know it never works that way.

I really, really, really wanted to go buy a 12 pack and say “F” it, I don’t care. i was so close, so very close to getting drunk. Then I just sat in the corner of my room crying like a damn baby or mental case.

sugarbear1

Hug,

tomsteve

yup.....they happen. but look at the bright side: you got the tire changed and ya prolly got one less person thats gonna be callin ya.
and today is a new day! make it a great one and prayers yer way.

Sudz No More

Despite all the adversity thrown your way you persevered to stay on course. That is something to be very proud of. You took care of yourself in the end by sticking to what is important to you.

Great job. Everything else will smooth out from two sides but you are the only in control of your own destiny.

:ghug3

MalkavianEmily

:ghug3
The important thing is that you didn't pick up. I came really close yesterday to picking up. I meant to just get milk, but ended up with a bottle of vodka as well. I came on here and posted when I got home. All the way home, I just wanted to cry. I just felt so ashamed at what I'd done.
But, thanks to the folks on here, I didn't.

My thoughts are with you. Hope today is better.

Jitterbugg

Things may not be going your way right now Metalchick, but getting drunk is just a momentary cessation of unhappiness. Stay strong and fight for a better life!

RevivingOphelia

Having a shi**y day sucks. Having one with a hangover is worse.

Wishing you happier days.

gaffo

At least you can come to some conclusions, remember and evaluate them when you don't crawl into a bottle. I find that when I loan money to a deadbeat it helps to loan enough that they don't come back for a while!

MetalChick

MalkavianEmily,


Wow, you rock. I think it is really cool that you came in here and fessed up and didn't drink the vodka. It's also cool that the amazing people in this room could help out like that. Awesome stuff indeed. You are better then me, if I had a bottle of vodka(my fav hard liqueur that also turns me into a psycho) I would be done for.

Thanks guys and Sugarbear for the virtual hug. I really needed that. It is great to be able to come in here and get these things out. I can't really talk to my friends about it, because they would probably be right over here with some beer, or want me to go out and have so-called fun after a bad day, and especially a Sat night. Thank you.

Sudz,

Thanks, taking care of myself is something new

RevivingOphelia

You are soooo right, and I thought about that when I got up today (no hangover) Plus given the mind set I was in yesterday, who knows what would have happened had I got hammered.

TomSteve,

i really liked what you said, about one less person calling me. I really don't need drug addicts calling me for money for sure. There was a bright side

And....

The bad thing is though, that I had some residual cravings. I went to the flea market today, and usually get some beers when I shop no matter how early it is in the morning. I did not. Then I thought about going out for margaritas after, and did not. I just have to keep trusting that voice in my head that tells me it won't end at a few beers, or a couple margs. It will be an all day all night drinking thing.

I guess that tells me that a horrible day or a good day can be tough, and i wasn't even craving this week until yesterday; the thought of drinking was making me sick. WTF

Thanks again

neferkamichael

MetalChick, sounds to me you had a good day yesterday. You didn't drink and you didn't loan money to a drug addict. You are FANTASTIC.

foodie1

That's tough MetalChick, it's doubly hard when we're still learning the new ways to deal with tough times. It sounds like you did really really well though. Just like neferkamichael said, you didn't drink and you didn't enable. You did great in a tough situation! Hugs :ghug3

KDL

You got through the day, AND stayed sober. That's something to feel good about! Hope it's a better day today.

MetalChick

Thank you neferkamichael and Foodie,

i didn't think of it as a "great day" but you are right. I didn't drink or enable in a tough situation, and even though I felt bad about myself for wanting to drink so bad and crying like a little girl. I am feeling better. Now, I am just too darn proud of myself to think about having any Sunday tiki bar activity. I mean that, and I feel so good about it I could cry again, and I got a little choked up, but in a good way. I never knew that talking in here would make such a difference in staying sober and seeing things more clearly.

I am going to take my little bud and best friend (my doggie) to the park (he likes me a lot better when I am sober).

Thanks again, you guys are priceless

MetalChick

Thanks too, KDL. I didn't see your post till after I wrote the last one