here I go again
 

I know if I try enough times I will crack it eventually, Im feeling stronger now. Last year when I quit I lasted a few months and then the black dog bit me again and I went back to the booze. So here I am at day one again, hubby is still drinking himself into oblivion every night and Ive been joining him,:scared: Im covered in bruises from falling over and ITS GOT TO STOP

Tiggy, 1 day? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. :egypt:

I had to get really honest with myself this time and I know I couldn't do it alone. I needed the support of AA to help me. I put my EGO aside and have allowed God to work in my life again.

I wish that I did believe in God, but I just can bring myself to believe that a great almighty power would allow such horible things to happen to nice people. Still it must bring such strength to those of you who do believe. soberbrooke you are right I cannot do it alone, AA is out my other half would be mortified. I did go last time I attempted to quit but someone really upset me there so I didnt go back after a few meetings. I have a good friend who may support me. I know it is down to me in the end

Welcome back Tiggy from a fellow black country mucca.....

thanks Stevie I love the dog by the way

Hi Tiggy, have you thought about SMART Recovery or AVRT at all? Have a look in the Secular Connections forum, you may well benefit from some of the ideas there. There are also face to face SMART meetings in Birmingham if that is any good to you. It's just a little too far for me in Northampton!

Whatever the recovery program - grab one - my choice is AA - Wecome back

i had a pretty screwed up conception of God,too. when i got desperate enough to do whatever i had to do to get sober, i change that perception.
there i was believing in God and He was doin all this horrible stuff. i know now He didnt like me giving credit to Him for the devils work.
today my conception/perception of God is completely different. i know he gives me tests. how else would He know just how much faith i have in Him?
when i was diagnosed stage 3c melanoma 13 months into recovery, i did a wee bit of blaming God. got pretty angry with Him,too. i was bottling up that anger till i finally blew a gasket. i was in my shop and the old me came out. crap was flying and i was screaming. when i finally wore myself out, i sat on my stool and just cried. i could feel, actually feel God with me. he spoke to me( not out loud, but in my heart) and told me he was hurting,too, but was there for me and would never leave me.
i had a serious fight for the next 4 ish years and though it all all the trials and tribulations, He never left me.
today i can see just where He was by reading the poem " footprints." many times there was only one set of footprints and i am greatful they werent mine.

My drinking and its consequences got so bad that nobody, but nobody, be it spouse or rude AA member, was going to keep me from getting help.

Then, when I did go to AA, I also had a problem with the God thing for exactly the same reason… that is, how can evil exist? In fact the logic seemed airtight. How could an all-good, all-powerful and all-knowing entity allow evil to exist? Next question.. end of discussion.

Then it was pointed out that I had never made a serious attempt to discover a God. So I studied the world’s religions for several months. The results were quite unexpected.

Welcome back Tiggy, SR is a wonderful place to be ;)

Welcome back Tiggy :)

whats your plan? :)

D

Here is the link that was mentioned by MyTimeNow

Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Please do go see if those ideas will help you to quit.

Welcome back...:wave:

There are ways to quit without AA. I did it, and I am now one year sober. You can do it.

I do have to give credit to AA though, even though I didn't join. Because on my last quit, I said to myself, "if you relapse this time, you will have to go to AA because you will then be out of options", and this did a lot toward scaring me into sobriety. Use your dislike for AA to your advantage.

thankyou all for your support i will have a look at the link, i really need to get myself together now. A close family member has a brain tumour and is going downhill rapidly, her dayghter died the same way last year. Hence Im struggling with the concept of God, but just talking to you all helps and Im doing extra shifts at work, less time to drink. Im going to buy big bottles of soft drinks on the way home tonight