SW2012

Opinions and experience needed!!!!

I am dating an alcoholic. He goes back to rehab at the end of the month and has been going to group and to meetings. For the last week and a half he has not drank any alcohol and I was so happy for him. He was going to meetings every day and journalling. Well my 30th birthday is this Friday and my friend wanted me to go away with her. He got upset that I wasn't seeing him and ended up getting mad at me and started drinking at one. The drinking lasted until around 5 or 6 in the evening and somehow he got picked up and put in the "drunk tank" he calls it. Didn't get out til after 1am. I'm sort of confused.... he was doing so good so what happened?? Is it always going to be me walking on eggshells so I don't upset him and "make" him drink? Is this what I'm in for? This is a new relationship and I'm just not sure what to do.....

Sandy

2granddaughters

You've got a loose cannon on your hands.

Are you going to Al-Anon meetings?

It probably will be this way but you don't have to walk on eggshells ....

All the best.

Bob R

desertsong

One thing I know as an alcoholic is this: no one can get me drunk, and no one can get me sober either. It's really easy for an alcoholic to drink AT someone that they're upset with ... I used to do it all the time with my husband (who is himself an active alcoholic). I'd get some sober time and then I'd always find a reason to drink ... it was your fault, his fault, her fault, their fault ...

Truth is, this is not YOUR fault. But I think you do have to reevaluate if this is someone you really want to be involved with if he doesn't get sober and stay that way. It's a hard road. I've been sober almost 4 months but my husband still drinks to excess every single day and there are so many issues in our lives that have come about because of it. If this is a new relationship, you are in a better place than some of us ... you still have time to walk away before you get in too deep. I'd really consider that at this point ... you can always leave the options open to get back together if he gets and stays sober ... but if he continues on this path, this will lead to no place good for you.

Wishing you all the best.

SW2012

Hi 2granddaughters,

I have never been to Al-Anon. Not even sure how to find a meeting in Toronto....

SW2012

Thank you, Desertsong.

Veritas1

Ontario South Al-Anon - Alateen

CarolD

I suggest you check out this link

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

It will give you a pre view of what often happens when
people stay with drinkers.

Me? I dumped my still drinking lover of 5 years
and never looked back....

2granddaughters

Did you follow Veitas1's link? I would think that it's in the telephone book as well.

All the best.

Bob R (near Windsor)

SW2012

I did and I found one that is actually right by my house. Wednesdays at 7:30.

Thank you so much both of you for all of your help.

2granddaughters

Cool !! We're both going to a meeting at 7:30 tonight.

We'll both be better for it tomorrow.

All the best.

Bob R

Gerbosko

Sounds like he's extremely possessive and likes to blame others for his problems.

Drinking and driving and going to jail - A disastrous combination. He's just lucky he didn't kill nobody!

Move on. Seriously.

This has disaster written all over it. I would end the relationship, you don't need the drama. There are plenty of men that will treat you with respect and love you, but this current guy won't do either.

tacks

I was reading this thread and then starting having software/IT problems. Apparently the forum's software will only allow me to respond with one single "thanks" not matter how many times i keep pressing the icon.

Desert, I really like the fact that you offered a compromise between the two extremes.

Perhaps the idea of winning Sandy back would be a nice little added incentive for staying sober? Perhaps the realization and recognition of loosing Sandy permanently would be a nice wake up call.

NYCDoglvr

Unless you tied him down and poured alcohol down his throat it isn't you're fault. Alcoholics are almost incapable of taking responsibility for themselves and blame other people. Is this what you want in life?

CarolD

To find Part 2 ...please go to

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tank-post.html

To keep confusion to a mimimum this one is closed.
for shareing..