Knitter

On July 4 my son will "graduate" from treatment. He is 27 years old and suffers from depression. My husband and I are trying to decide what would be best-allowing him to return to our house where he has been for the last four months or exploring Sober Living. I would love insight from those of you who have lived/are living in Sober Living. What are the benefits? Drawbacks? Thanks in advance for your time in answering my post.

Dee74

Welcome Knitting

I've never been in sober living but I wanted to welcome you

I'm sure you'll get many opinions here - remember when you're thinking about whats best for your son to factor in whats best for you and your husband too

D

CarolD

I see you have found our friends & Family Forum too,.
That is a really good place for support for those who
are dealing with your situation.

I have never been to a sober living home....no expereince to share.

Welcome to our recovery community ...
hope all works out well for you and your family

AlwaysGrowing

Um..At 27.. Sober living is a great place for adults to learn how to function on their own. Staying at home with parents aren't exactly promoting that IMO..

Another thread I just read.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...s-addicts.html

AG

Justfor1

Sober living would be a good place for him. The problem is how severe the depression is. You are expected to do chores, get a job, attend outside AA meetings, attend house meetings ect... Some sober living houses are stricter than others. They are not all the same. I've been to a few. I can tell you that the Salvation Army one helped me quite a bit. I stayed there for almost a year. Also, some do not allow medication of any kind including anti-depressants. Hope I helped in some way.

MysteriousGrl

I had no other option but to move into sober living after I left a 30 day inpatient treatment program. My boyfriend didn't want me back, my family didn't want me living with them, and my only option was to move into a half way house. I was lucky to still have my job at the time, but I was suffering from major depression and felt like the whole world had turned against me. I lasted one week both at work and the half way house before I relapsed and spiralled completely out of control. I was kicked out of the sober house and I didnt return to work. Biggest regret of my life so far. I had no other option but to move country to live with my mother, she was the only person left that would take me in.

I think half way houses can be good and definitely give your son the helping hand he needs to stay sober, just so long as you show him love, understanding and that you will always be there for him through this transitional period. I hope things work out for family

sugarbear1

Have you and your husband considered Al Anon? It will help you to understand yourselves!

A sober living house is a great choice for your adult son.

I wish you all well,

Nevertheless

What does your son think about it?

soberbrooke

If He is ready He will change. My parents did it for me so many times in my younger years, put me in rehab, halfway house, etc.... It took me until I was 42 to get it.
I agree with the post of yall need to be in alanon. They will guide you in your ways. If he is not ready, nothing can make him ready.
That is the hardest part about this whole thing, letting go of your children. You have to let go and let God take care of him.
It might be a part of his journey and if it is, there is nothing that will change him on the outside, he has to want it on the inside. Only God knows whats in store for all of us.

Knitter

Thank you all for your posts. After talking with our son and his counselor we decided to allow Our son to return to living with us. Our son wants to come home rather than go to Sober Living or a half way house and as his counselor believed that Matt has the skills to stay sober and now the work is up to him. The counselor didn't think Matt stood a better chance of success in one setting or another. He agreed with Soberbrooke that his sobriety is up to him. I am going to Al-Anon and it does help and I am committed to working my own recovery plan.
Again, thank you so much for your thoughts and willingness to share your experiences. You all have helped me tremendously. Wishing you peace.

Sapling

Why don't you have your son get an account here and you both can use this site for added support?...Wishing you the best! Hope you won't be a stranger around here.

imsober42day

it all depends on ur son. as much as we wish him to live a certain way , we cant!
if hes serious about staying sober then sober living is a great place for him to transition back into everyday life , if hes not serious then it doesnt matter where he is.
my prayers are with him and hope he does really well

PaperDolls

Knitter - I lived in a sober living environment for 2 years after treatment and I'd be happy to talk to you, or your son, about it. Just let me know.

I've always heard that going from treatment to a sober living house greatly increases the chances of staying sober so I'm surprised to hear the counselor's take on it.

I'm 100% sure that my sober living experience helped my recovery. In fact, I have more time now than I have ever had and I really believe that a huge part of it was the sober living. And it's not just the amount of time sober I have .... I'm actually happy and peaceful.

Since he's 27, I think it's a great idea for him to become independent and yeah, I didn't want to do it either. Lots of stuff I've had to do for my recovery I didn't want to do. It's work and sometimes it's not easy but that's just life.

justanothrdrunk

I too did the sober living bit for a while and it was a great experience. I would recommend it to anyone.