MrsKing

Welcome to SR. It's good to have you here. Congratulations on making the decision to quit alcohol. You'll find much support here.

It may be difficult at first but stick with it, it really does get easier with time.

All the best.

Nevertheless

Not to burst your bubble. But I think you should talk as many people in this situation that you can. (of course I realize that is what you are doing here)But.... Your friend might have been sober for ten years. But I think you might need all the people you can get. I don't mean to sound harsh. But this ain't easy. And being around people that are also going through this helps immensely. Not to say someone with 10 years sobriety can't help. But we do forget just how intense the first few months can be. And being around someone that is also newly sober is a big help (I'm talking about AA).
Right now, it all sounds good on paper. But sometime down the road. Mr. alcohol will sneak up on you. Most every one here knows what I'm talking about,how that S. O B. sneaks up,and we get drunk before we know what happened. The more people you have around you that have been through this. The better your chances of success,when he sneaks up on you. And trust me,it will happen. Hot summer day,football season,vacation ...I read your post ,and know you see those coming. The ones you really have to watch for are the ones you DON'T see coming. And for me, yes it was a lot tougher than quitting smoking. For me smoking wasn't even in the same league.
I wish you the best...
Fred

jimihendrix

You are making the correct decision.

Your situation sounds very familiar. You've known that you've been drinking too much. No legal, work, or family problems....yet. So stop before "yet" happens.


What is your "plan"?

Quitting is the first part, but having a plan is so important. A plan will give you a center, and when things get a little bumpy, you can always find the center.

AA? Other program? counseling?

Mine is reading books and memoirs on recovery
SR each day
counselor every other week

it works for me, and might for you too

Vlst

Last night went reasonably well. I went to the gym after work so I wouldn't spend so much time sitting around the house after work. I was in a pretty good mood all night up until it took us a little too long to get dinner done and I was hungry. Took a shower, cleaned up after dinner and went to sleep early. Zero drinks. Not the most comfortable sleep, but 9.5 hours (I usually sleep 7) and I woke up ready to roll.

I wake up around 6 every day with no alarm clock because I trade the stock market on NY time and I'm in AZ. I'm already at a disadvantage to the guys in NY because it's 9:30 there when the market opens and I'm usually slightly hung over (but who knows, they might be too even that late). Today I felt very sharp and focused.

Same game plan for tonight. Exercise, dinner, maybe some quiet music and go to bed early.

Nevertheless, I hear you on that. I'm already going through my head all the situations that are about to come up. Luckily the 4th isn't a holiday for me. Then I've got vacation a week from Friday with family. They aren't big drinkers, but the temptation will be strong to have a drink or two, and we all know where that goes. I've decided to cancel our next vacation after that, because it was to visit an old drinking buddy. I've got to call some friends and break it down for them what I'm doing, won't be fun but I'm kind of self centered anyways so if they don't like it tough. The people who really love me will support this.

Lastly, I need to make an appointment with my Dr. for today or tomorrow to make sure he's on board.

SamanthaIam

Vlst, I totally relate to your original post. So glad you're here.

Vlst

Well last night was a lot more unpleasant. Super anxious and I barely ate half a chicken salad before calling it quits at 8:30. Man that's a s#$%^y feeling. Didn't feel like drinking though, so there's that. I'm hoping tonight isn't much worse, but I have a feeling it will be. Funny thing is I feel fine this morning, but it creeps up on me as the night goes by, like my body is saying "what??? you're really going to keep me from drinking again tonight?" Yep, too bad, deal with it.

I let my wife know what I was feeling and apologized in advance for being cranky and sleeping more than usual. She's very understanding. Kind of a hopeful feeling this morning mixed with a little sadness. Tonight's plan is maybe go for a swim and treat myself to something good for dinner, skipping any 4th parties.

tacks

Hi John,

It was about two years ago when i got really sick -- sooooo sick. couldn't stop shaking. nauseous. but even though i was nauseous i would drink whiskey. then i'd immediately throw up. then i'd wait 14 minutes and try to drink whiskey again.

So I went to detox. was in the waiting room for about 6 hours. then they told me that they would admit me, they had a bed for me. So then i knew they would help me with my withdrawal symptoms.

At that point i walked out to my car, got the bottle out of the trunk. then poured it out on the grass.

Congrats to you, john, for being more pro active than i was.

I'm very impressed.

all the best to yourself

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

Vlst

Night number three was way easier than the night before. I wasn't nearly as anxious, but I was still pretty irritable and quiet which isn't like me. Spent some of the evening doing some research. Watched a little Tour de France and we were in bed before the fireworks started popping off.

I found some disturbing news yesterday though, something which will surely help me keep from drinking again. I was on facebook yesterday and looking up an old friend I had parted ways with about 12 years ago. We were best friends in high school and the beginning of college until he started getting into some pretty serious stuff. When I searched his name there were no results for Facebook, but it gave me an internet result for his obituary. He died a few weeks ago. When I tried to figure out why, all I could find was the obituary, and some mug shots. All alcohol related crimes (BAC >.15 extreme DUI/drugs combo, resisting arrest etc). He was a very smart kid when I knew him, with unlimited opportunity and wealth. Very sad.

So anyways, I'm proud that after 4 years of drinking 6-10 whiskeys a night, every night, I'm on day 4 with zero. The excerpts from Under the Influence really struck a chord too about how there really is no going back.

Hevyn

Very happy to hear this good news. You're doing great.

FaithfulQuest

Like many others, your story sounds too familiar to my own right down to feeling like you've ruined your chances of being a "normal" drinker. I'm in my 3rd week and have read the books recommended here "Under the Influence" and now reading "Beyond the Influence." One of the most enlightening pieces of info I've read is how social drinking was already planing that alcoholic seed. Where others could take or leave it, the alcohol was going to work on our brains to where before we knew it, we were in the deep end of the pool not knowing how to swim. Those books have saved me from beating myself up and reinforcing that I've made the right decision. I didn't choose to be an alcoholic, but I can choose to stop.

Welcome!!!

CarolD

Ah Yes! "Under The Influence' is my favorite
"handbook" om alcoholism.

while not all the info there pertained to me...it certainly
opened my eyes....especially the part about how we
alcoholics process alcohol differently.

I took that info...re connected to God...refreshed my AA program
I've not returned to drinking since 4-89.

I'm always so pleased when others find it useful...

CarolD

John...

How sad your friend slid downwards because of addiction.
It gives new meaning to RIP when I hear of these tragidies

Keep on moving forward...you are doing really well.

Vlst

Thanks Carol and everyone. Day 5 now, still feeling strong but trying to make a lot of plans for the weekend. I would normally be finding somewhere for lunch around 11 that had some sort of drinking involved. Then have a few cocktails at home until I took a nap, followed by more drinking until basically I went to sleep. Repeat on Sunday. Tomorrow I'm going to work on some things around the house, get a haircut, work on selling my wife's car and then go see a comedian with a non-drinking friend. His mom is an alcoholic and an anti-role model for what I want my life to be. She's a senior VP and used to be a brilliant trader, now I can't understand how she can hold her position.

I have a physical at the end of July. I've never had any blood work done or any liver tests, so that should be enlightening. It will be about 25 days into sobriety when it happens. Hopefully if all looks good I can finally get life insurance, which I've put off for years because I knew I would trip the liver function test (plus the idea of not drinking for a few days before sounded unappealing). If it looks elevated after a month, I'll just have to wait a while longer and then apply.

Vlst

One week, NO DRINKS!

PaperDolls

And .... how are you feeling?!

Vlst

Feeling cranky in the evenings, pretty good in the mornings. Physically all is well, but it's discouraging to be in such a funk sometimes. Definitely important for me to keep very busy, otherwise I start getting irritable.

Hevyn

Congratulations on your one week, Vlst! That's a great accomplishment. It'll start to get much better soon. Isn't it nice to have a non-hungover morning?

Hollyanne

Well done John.
Very nice to see.
Keep it up.

Vlst

Well, my first summer vacation of the year came and went. I drank 2 beers Friday, 4 Saturday and 2 Sunday. When I first decided to make a change, having a few beers on vacation was part of the plan, so I can't really call this a screw up. I didn't get drunk, even the 4 beers were spaced over about 6 hours in the afternoon. That's not really the point though, and this confirmed what I already knew: I'm not satisfied having a few beers. I could have had more, I could have ordered some liquor at the bar. If I were by myself I probably would have. So anyways, for me it's easier to have zero than what I did over the weekend. I'm positive it I were with my drinking buddies instead of my family, I wouldn't have held back.

I don't need to sugar coat things here. When I was at the brewery of one of my favorite beers, I was looking at the alcohol content when I picked my beer, and not in a good way. When I was sitting on the patio pacing myself, I was thinking about how I'd like to not pace myself. That's the problem, that's my problem. I need to be honest with myself about the fact that even when I set a limit I'm looking for ways to make those "2" drinks more like 4. Whether it's pouring a cocktail strong, or choosing a stronger beer, or getting a pint instead of a 12 oz.