Feeling Pretty Useless----
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
I think the most important thing for me is to get a full time job.
The most important thing for you to do is to get honest with yourself. Here is a passage from the Big Book, 5th Chapter, 1st edition...
"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest."
I think you have the capacity to be honest. Truly, I do.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by Mark75
No, it's not. And, that, in itself, is the problem, that you still think circumstances and situations are the problem...
The most important thing for you to do is to get honest with yourself.
The most important thing for you to do is to get honest with yourself.
Playing the victim to a disease or circumstances is not the path to recovery in my opinion. Accept responsibility. Take action. Be the master of your destiny.
1000 Post Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
Originally Posted by Tippingpoint
Playing the victim to a disease or circumstances is not the path to recovery in my opinion. Accept responsibility. Take action. Be the master of your destiny.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
I agree with Mark, the questions are just distractions. Please read the AVRT material on the link I posted for you. To me, the rationalizations, the temper tantrums, the excuses are part and parcel proof there's more going on than just selfishness.
Here's the tricky part: Are you willingly acting out in a manner that gets you put in jail, keeps you on the streets and lets you go hungry? No, but the "deep Pleasure" we get from alcohol, or memory of what was once pleasure, keeps us going back to old behaviors that destroy us. doers this make sense to you? It does to me.
Just, we don't have to live like this. you can live a better life, one that's peaceful and where you are content. but you have to take responsibility. And take action.
I worry for you.
Love from Lenina
Here's the tricky part: Are you willingly acting out in a manner that gets you put in jail, keeps you on the streets and lets you go hungry? No, but the "deep Pleasure" we get from alcohol, or memory of what was once pleasure, keeps us going back to old behaviors that destroy us. doers this make sense to you? It does to me.
Just, we don't have to live like this. you can live a better life, one that's peaceful and where you are content. but you have to take responsibility. And take action.
I worry for you.
Love from Lenina
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Justfor1
This insanity has been going on for nearly 10yrs! Why would a loving God let someone live like this???
My first 10 years I probably averaged 6/week.
I wish you the best but if you want what the oldtimers have you will have to do what the oldtimers did. That's the Law of Nature (God's Law ??!!)
Bob R
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
I'm wondering what's really going on for you, Just...
I've watched your progress, and indeed, it was true progress, and it was like observing a rose about to bud, and then something??? caused you to shrivel and fold into yourself.
Can it be something like it's easier to deal with the devil you know than the devil you don't know?
I know when I was getting sober, the excitement of being sober in the future was oftentimes obliterated by a fear of my future unknown That fear would get me stuck like a deer in the headlights, and it was the people around me in the program that helped me get unstuck. I've always been one who had the perception that I was tough and could handle things on my own, but as was suggested to me, I had to let people in and let them know what was going on with me. Simple, not easy, so I understand that.
I've been stuck more times than I can count, and in order to keep from the backslide, I had to get honest and outside of my own head. It was like a sucker-punch to my pride, but I had no reason to doubt those that were successful in the program of my need to do it.
I often got too far ahead of my sobriety when putting my action plan in to play. I've done this so many times when I tried to stop drinking on my own without a program. When I moved too fast, the last thing I gained was the first thing I lost as I tried to end the madness on my own.
It was through the feedback of my sponsor and a skilled therapist that helped rein me in. My mind without booze would race for months, if not for the first year, and I was a disaster waiting to happen if it were not for the help of those skilled in recovery being around me. I did not take their suggestions lightly.
I am grateful for the steps - they are in order, and a roadmap, and that's what I needed. That's where I found relief from the obsession and the angst of addiction.
When girlfriends, jobs, the inability to become honest at a meeting to protect your perception of having it together get in the way; the drink is not far behind.
Truth is, it's the devil that we know that will keep us hell.
I've watched your progress, and indeed, it was true progress, and it was like observing a rose about to bud, and then something??? caused you to shrivel and fold into yourself.
Can it be something like it's easier to deal with the devil you know than the devil you don't know?
I know when I was getting sober, the excitement of being sober in the future was oftentimes obliterated by a fear of my future unknown That fear would get me stuck like a deer in the headlights, and it was the people around me in the program that helped me get unstuck. I've always been one who had the perception that I was tough and could handle things on my own, but as was suggested to me, I had to let people in and let them know what was going on with me. Simple, not easy, so I understand that.
I've been stuck more times than I can count, and in order to keep from the backslide, I had to get honest and outside of my own head. It was like a sucker-punch to my pride, but I had no reason to doubt those that were successful in the program of my need to do it.
I often got too far ahead of my sobriety when putting my action plan in to play. I've done this so many times when I tried to stop drinking on my own without a program. When I moved too fast, the last thing I gained was the first thing I lost as I tried to end the madness on my own.
It was through the feedback of my sponsor and a skilled therapist that helped rein me in. My mind without booze would race for months, if not for the first year, and I was a disaster waiting to happen if it were not for the help of those skilled in recovery being around me. I did not take their suggestions lightly.
I am grateful for the steps - they are in order, and a roadmap, and that's what I needed. That's where I found relief from the obsession and the angst of addiction.
When girlfriends, jobs, the inability to become honest at a meeting to protect your perception of having it together get in the way; the drink is not far behind.
Truth is, it's the devil that we know that will keep us hell.
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