DalyCityTrain

I experienced full blown DTs in 2008 and thought sharing my experience may be helpful to some. I know it will help me to type it. I'm on day 2 of a comparitively mild detox but need to fill in some spare time.
I will start by saying that without a doubt DTs was the most frightening ordeal of my life. Nothing is even comparable. I could have died but luckily I got professional medical attention before the symptoms peaked.
The binge that brought this on lasted about two weeks according to a friend of mine. I don't recall but bits and pieces.
I remember the first day of the binge or at least part of it clearly. I started drinking tequila at the crack of dawn, stumbled around town and hung out with some street people.. I came home tried to eat, threw up and passed out. The people I was staying with had hidden the bottle from me but I talked them out of it when I came to. After this its bits and pieces. I remember most of the time was spent sitting in a dim room listening to sad country music. What a party. I would pass out wake up then drink enough to pass out again.
I got too weak and shaky to go to the liquor store so I started paying people to go for me. The only food I ate during this binge was a few slices of bread and - maybe kept down one or two meals. Food felt foreign and it made me less drunk.
I'm not sure how much booze I actually drank but I figure around 10 750 ml bottles of tequila and bourbon. At the time I probably weighed 120 and ate almost nothing. So that's how I got DTs.
In a somewhat lucid state I walked to the local eatery and can recall the cars passing by with "tracers" behind them. Also I was feeling very confused but still drinking at this time not in full withdrawals. I went home passed out and woke up. I had no booze and no way to get any.
The main symptom I recall at first was being very confused. I would go and do something but had no idea why, my brain was almost blank. For example I would walk to the bathroom and halfway there realize I didn't have to use the john. The lobotomy state went on for awhile then it dawned on me that I was running around the house like a madman, speeding and moving very erratically. My heart was doing a mile a minute and fear was in my blood. I hadn't noticed this at all before and it was bad. Never been so afraid in my life but I am quite sure I was dying. Like living in a nightmare. Just terror everywhere. I was close to drinking mouthwash but didn't.
I managed to have someone dial an ambulance and I remeber the emt telling me that my heart was beatin way too fast. It was 160 something I recall. I was lucid and afraid, going in and out of awareness.
In the er, the nurse ask me to describe my symptoms and by this time I was having vivid visual hallucinations and jumping about. I kept seeing things out of the corner of my eye, spider webs, bugs crawling little monsters and people but I would look and they were gone. I remeber the awful fear of something behind me and trying to see it like a dog chasing its tail. I described these and another sort of hallucinations I called "wisps" to the nurse. These where disturbances that would not resemble anything but maybe like a squiggly line or a puff of smoke.
As they held my arm still in order to give me IV Ativan, I asked if they could see the large preying mantis perched atop the television. They could not.
I immediatly felt much much better. The drug calmed me and made the fear and jumpiness subside. My heart rate came back to Earth as well but I continued to hallucinate and spent the next several days in the ICU. I could hear entire conversations going on that never happened and watched shadows of people move that were not there. They kept me highly medicated and in this calmed state I actually found some of the spectres amusing They had to put an alarm under my bed because I would get up and walk around thinking I had visitors and maybe looking for a non existant soda machine.
I don't know how long it took but I came back to my senses slowly. Talked with the doctors, a preist and a guy from AA. I showered, brushed my hair and realized what a close call I had actually had. Only maybe an hour had passed from the onset of bad symptoms to the time I was given medication. Much longer and I could have had a seizure, stroke or what have you. I'm very lucky to have no permanant damage and be alive basically good as new. I never drank that heavily before or since then.

I hope this story will help someone in some way. Thanks for reading and stay sober for Heavens sake.

CarolD

i'm really glad you did get medical help and survived the D.T's.
Prayers that this will be your time for lasting sobreity...

Thanks for shareing your experience with us

davaidavai

That's amazing. Your brain must have been seriously fried. Preying mantis? I relate to the fear. After drinking 10 or 12 I used to wake up in the middle of the night in a state of terror, barnstorming my apartment in a panic, searching for something/nothing, ocassionally rushing out into the street or hall. Ah, the good old days.

KnowHope

Thank you for your post, which was very powerful to read.

As of today I am helping my ex-fiance detox at home, who has been given directions and medication from his doctor, and your experience is my biggest fear. He has fallen from heights that I could never believe if I didn't know the nature of this condition myself. We met in a church. I thought we were bonded at the soul, We planned to get married, have a house full of beautiful little children, live an amazing life together. He spent his career as a figurehead and problem solver for some of the wealthiest people in the world in an industry exclusive to the rich and famous. Our courtship crossed cities, towns, countrysides and seas in some of the most beautiful places in the world, in houses and apartments in places that looked like near paradise, staying at some of the best hotels in the world.

He had been sober for nearly 16 years until he relapsed last year, getting sober again after a near death experience three months later. It looked like he was doing the work to stay on track until the end of March when he relapsed again. This has been amongst the worst and most devastating things I have ever seen happen, and it has all come crashing down in the last 2 years, when his thinking and behaviors changed even before he picked up a drink. Last month he tried disappearing to Thailand to die. He spent thousands and thousands and thousands of dollars on a spree with no regard for common sense. Friends and former colleagues and I are all in tears over what has happened. He cannot work in his condition and has 2 expensive houses for which he can no longer pay the mortgages. He has been pawning his things and hitchhiking to get around. He has basically lost everything.

Yesterday I watched him on his knees playing music in the street for money. His friends have become homeless men and he is swarmed by drug dealers. After being brought in by the police on Friday, now facing criminal charges, he couldn't resist going "Fight Club" behind a bard with the biggest derelict he could find. He took to sleeping in the streets since Friday, waking up wet and dirty. A week ago, after passing out in the street, he was robbed of everything he had on him including his iPhone and Nokia, gold Prada sunglasses, former wedding band, expensive watch, silver jewelry, cash, keys to the Alpha Romeo, even his belt. For days he was in such a rage I couldn't even get near him. He was in the hospital again on Sunday for collapsing in the street from a combination of Valium and booze. The other drugs he has been taking at various times through these months made him act like an absolute madman and had him recently returning from the hospital covered in electrode stickers. He is still healing from a nasty scar on the back of his head where it looks like he nearly cracked his skull and didn't bother getting to the hospital. Yesterday he went to check on his car, and it has been towed away although at the moment he can't afford to get it back. They are planning to shut off the water on Monday. Last night I watched him dig for beers out of some dumpsters where he had hidden them from the other street drunks.

I have taken him home to the other apartment, got him cleaned up, have been feeding him, and held him as he cried until last last night. Not knowing if he will survive, I have wept endlessly through all of this. I still love him dearly but cannot be with him because of the insanity, his erratic behaviors, the danger he has put me in, and my need to take care of myself through all of this, which at times has been very hard to do. I almost haven't known where to begin with that, ready to sacrifice anything to help him, but I can't help anyone if I'm not taking care of my own recovery. This has all been an enormous learning experience, and I'm sure the lessons from this will continue to come in.

But if there are things I want to share about this with you today, it's that alcoholism is merciless, heartless and insane. I have so much respect for the illness because of how cunning, baffling and powerful it is and believe it is never to be underestimated. It is also permanent, progressive, patient, and fatal. It is an absolute testament to the program of recovery that I work on a daily basis that I am still so gratefully sober/clean today, and that despite a whole lot of pain and hardships in this devastating situation, I am still so grateful for the entire journey and wouldn't want to give it up for anything in the world. Today I have faith that everything happens for a reason and is ultimately for the greater good even if I don't like it or understand it at the time.

I know you said you haven't drank that heavily in the way you described again, but if you are an alcoholic there is just no way to drink like other people. No alcoholic ever recovers control. At times we have felt we were regaining that control, until still less control followed. If the DT's weren't enough, what will be?

Please say a prayer for the love of my life today, that he will find the path back to freedom in recovery. I am saying the same prayers from my heart for you: may what happened to you become the gift that leads you forward.

pinkdog

Thanks for sharing that. I had bad withdrawals but not that bad. Thank God you went to the hospital. :ghug3

Innerchild

Thanks for sharing your story thats very scary. Glad you survived.

Thepatman

Never been that deep in Alchool trouble. Guess I'm somewhat chicken because it took way less to scare me. LOL!

Makes me think of how could someone slip back in relapse after such an experience?

Don't know except that I'm done for good with the booze. No way I'm going deeper with this poison

Elisabeth888

Holy cow Daily and Know, those are both riveting posts. Thank you so much.

DalyCityTrain

Thanks people for the posts. I'm praying for you Knowhope.

Why I ever touched booze after this experience defies logic. After I left the hospital I managed not to drink for 26 days but was on medication and started drinking again when it ran out. A month later I hit bottom, which kept me stone cold sober for the next two years. I started drinking again last year, first in small quanities and controlling it pretty well. Didn't take long before I was drinking compulsivly and heavily again. So here I am on day 3 and feeling pretty good.

Bazzal

Thanks

Zebra1275

Thanks for reminding me why I never want to drink again.

Gottalife

Absolutely stunning posts Knowhope and DCT. My prayers go out to both of you.

There is a more subtle message here, about the progressive nature of this disease. Some of us reach a point of fear and desperation that we reach out for help.

We have realised the seriousness of our situation and we take steps to recover. Perhaps God gives us a window of opportunity, perhaps we still have enough insight to recognise the harm we are doing ourselves.

But the disease can progress, and insight is lost, our alcoholic life seems the only normal one. An alcoholic can go through a serious scrape, like the DT's, and not recognise that they are getting near the end. The denial is strong, the mental capacity to see the true nature of their situation is all but gone.

I sat with guys like this when I was in the nut farm. They went through the most horrendous withdrawals, only to be smiling and laughing a day or two later, and eager to get out partying again. They did not recognise they were near the end, and in fairly short order they came back as permanent patients - wet brains. I have seen the switch occur, where a man on the verge, takes one more drink, the loaded one, and crosses the line for good. There is no return.

I am not trying to scare anyone. You can't scare an alcoholic sober, but the above posts really serve to illustrate the deadly nature of this disease. Even apparently successful intelligent achievers who are in all other respects well above average, are completely powerless to help themselves.

What an incredible gift it is to have the opportunity to live sober. Don't take it for granted.

Shadydeal

Wow Wow....thank you for sharing the powerful posts. I hope that by sharing these experiences it may help others! It certainly enlightened me to what it could or does mean to detox. I am fortunate that I do not fight this battle but certainly have my own battles to fight! Thank you for sharing!

MetalChick

Thanks for the post, very scarey stuff. I never got to a point of the DTs thank God, but I did progress. When I started drinking to stop the bad feelings from drinking I knew I was in trouble.

MetalChick

KnowHope,

I wanted to thank you for that powerful post.

sober2bee

Thanks Daly and all others. Delusions and fear have been a big part of my drinking. Grounds me reading this stuff, cheers.

AnthonyC

I had the same experience after day 2 of sobriety. I would see light blue grey squiggly lines in my vision, always catch white lights in the corners of my eyes, it started last night I was acting erratically tossing turning violently, sweating. I became the same as you, scared for my life.


I had hallucinations that both my cousins were in the room with me speaking bad about me. The whole time I hallucinated all these people in my life actually telling me the truth about how they really felt about me and my drinking. I felt so pathetic and sad. I would have conversations and only I could vocally pronunciate the word "yeah" or "you" before realizing no one was there. I would see the shadows in my room take on a giant bunny ears shadow puppet and begin to glow. At this exact moment I feel actually alright but I'm still catching white shadows running.

My dt scared the hell out of me and I know it was a mild one I guess because I am and typing this. I just fear for later tonight as I've heard it comes back. Through my whole ordeal I hallucinated myself saying I'm done with drinking because my mild dt was a roast of my self and character and I honestly believe it all. I want to and need to change for the better. Thanks for reading if you did. I'm 25 by the way.

fantail

Hi Anthony, I had very, very serious withdrawals in July. It's very dangerous. I had to call an ambulance, and I really thought I was going to die.

You're still in the active withdrawal period, so you should really go get medical help. The third day is often the worst.

It's really easy, I wish I'd never forced myself through it alone. And trust me, it's a lot easier to go in advance than to end up in an ambulance!

Good luck to you. You can do this. Congratulations on deciding to get sober.

JD

Anthony, definitely get some medical help.

ScottFromWI

This is an old thread but i'm glad you posted Anthony. Like the others mentioned, getting some medical help is really the best option for you right now...better to be safe than sorry.