Zooman

I have a story, just like everybody else.

drinking and a bunch of stuff, good times, great "fuzzy" memories.

I started treatment back in February 2012 with out patient treatment. I was doing group treatment, coping skills, cognitive behavior therapy and stress management.

While I admit i did have a lot of stuff going on, i honestly just wanted a drink.

So I finally committed to an in-patient program back in May 2012 and it's been hell ever since. I'm still drinking and I went out two weeks ago with a girl (i'm a guy - just to be straight) and did the same exact thing.

I got drunk and barely remember what happened... we went bar hopping, got pretty messed up and came back to my apartment and had crazy drunk sex.

Everything was good until I woke up naked and confused "just like the good ol' days of chasing skirts under the influence. Except this time, i started out being 100% Honest, told her what I am going through, going to 2 - 4 AA meetings a week, weekly groups and possibly may seek treatment for an adjustment disorder - due to all the "stress" brought on by the consequences from the bad decisions made under the influence.

I don't even remember the exact number of drinks we had, but I have bottles of stuff I don't normally drink in my apartment and started pouring them out to take outside to the garbage.

Anyway, did anyone else drink while going through out-patient - relapse - in-patient... get discharged from rehab and make the dreaded mistake again?

i feel like a douche, and all my stressors are still here. i went to a meeting tonight, overall i'm doing pretty good.

but i can't even see how i ended up drunk and having sex with another girl, borderline stranger.

i can't even bring myself to call or send her a text message because i'm afraid of the feedback.

jesus...

she has her own issues from what i do remember talking about. bouts with depression and drinking. i sought treatment because i didn't want to be involved in another relationship like that again. people are crazy.

worst of all, i was and still am kind of proud that at i'm not drinking myself stupid every night, but i don't want another drink, i need it.

i've heard people say at the AA meetings that they asked god to remove the obsession. i'll take one of those!

i've been going to open meetings and beginner meetings. what am i doing wrong?

2granddaughters

Time to commit to AA.

The difference between "involved" and "committed" is like a bacon & egg breakfast.

The chicken is involved and the pig is committed.

All the best.

Bob R

CarolD

I'm glad you remembered we are here..Welcome back..

The AA Steps were the key for me...when I started them
I went from shakey sobreity to solid recovery...

Yes I do have daily contact with my God and I'm very active
in my local AA
I also took a break from dating to focus on my recovery

Hope this helps you get back on track...

sugarbear1

How badly do you want to stay stopped?

You can do this sober thing, you can!!

Welcome to SR!!

Zooman

The problem is my void that i so called learned about in rehab. I don't want to "fake it til i make it" or be a dry drunk.

My life is actually still pretty good, i have legal issues so i wont go into detail.

I have a good job, no kids, never been married but there is always something "missing" in my mind. I did grow attached to an ex-girlfriends kids a few years ago and they reminded me of how much i''ve always wanted a family.

Again, drinking and stuff always resulted in me being really close to happiness and then pissing it away at the last minute.

I even knew (know) better than to get involved so early in recovery. Yet, i did it again. In my own town for crying out loud! At least before i would put some distance between the skeletons and my relatives....

Sapling

First off you're drinking...You're going out and picking up girls that drink...You probably don't have a sponsor...Which means you haven't started working the steps...And I'm guessing you haven't read the big book yet...The directions for how this recovery program works. If nothing changes...Nothing changes....AA is a program for people that want it....That are willing to go to any lengths...Maybe it's what lengths you are going to...That is the problem.