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Married but falling in love with another alcoholic...



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Married but falling in love with another alcoholic...

Old 06-26-2012, 10:00 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I suggest asking yourself how you'll deal with the dishonesty, the lying. And, ask yourself if an affair is worth loosing your spouse. Are you ready to give up a friendship, because everything changes with sex.
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Old 06-28-2012, 02:41 AM
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How are things now Zube?
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Old 06-28-2012, 09:48 AM
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Zube -- it took some courage to start this thread, especially knowing you were going to be on the receiving end of some serious heat. Thank you for that. I've been in your shoes and took it to the next level: the affair moved from emotional to eventually include the physical side; I got a divorce and married the woman with whom I was having an affair; the entire town and all our family members were in an uproar; the pain and suffering I caused was horrific; fast forward a few years and the new marriage ended up in divorce.

I will never forget the pain I put so many people through, especially my first wife. It was the most horrible, selfish, mean-spirited and ugly thing I've done in my life. Back then it simply felt like love.

I'm so happy you've recognized it truly is an emotional affair you're having with this other woman. It sounds like you're ready to say good-bye and invest those emotions in your wife and your marriage and be fully present in your life together.
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Old 06-28-2012, 04:22 PM
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Originally Posted by crewisms View Post
Zube -- it took some courage to start this thread, especially knowing you were going to be on the receiving end of some serious heat. Thank you for that. I've been in your shoes and took it to the next level: the affair moved from emotional to eventually include the physical side; I got a divorce and married the woman with whom I was having an affair; the entire town and all our family members were in an uproar; the pain and suffering I caused was horrific; fast forward a few years and the new marriage ended up in divorce.

I will never forget the pain I put so many people through, especially my first wife. It was the most horrible, selfish, mean-spirited and ugly thing I've done in my life. Back then it simply felt like love.

I'm so happy you've recognized it truly is an emotional affair you're having with this other woman. It sounds like you're ready to say good-bye and invest those emotions in your wife and your marriage and be fully present in your life together.

Oh wow. Thank you for sharing that. I know it hurts you alot. It is SO common and yet very taboo to talk about. Im sorry that happened to you.
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Old 06-29-2012, 09:00 AM
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Update:
I've spoke with my sponsor, and right now we are working through another 4th and 5th step to try and dig deeper and figure out which one of my defects is taking over, again. In the mean time, I've done my best to channel every ounce of energy towards showing my wife my grattitude for her unwavering support of my disease. As for the other woman, I have backed off, and I'm sure that the next step is going to sit down with her and explain that even though I might have feelings toward her, and her me, what we are doing is wrong, and probably cannot do anything to strengthen our sobreity.

Thanks for all the suggestions and support at one of the most confusing and challenging points in my life.
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Old 06-29-2012, 06:36 PM
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Good for you Zube.
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Old 06-29-2012, 06:45 PM
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I am so glad, Zube. I think temptation is normal, but it doesn't mean you should act on it. I am lad you stayed strong!
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Old 07-01-2012, 02:24 PM
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Good for you in doing the right thing.
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Old 07-03-2012, 07:45 AM
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Zube, I believe you to be a man of integrity after reading this thread. I just wanted to give you encouragement that you are doing the right thing for all parties involved. It took a lot of courage to not only come here and post, but to go to your Sponsor also. That takes strength, honesty, and bravery. Good luck!
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Old 07-03-2012, 09:09 AM
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Well done. I think you made the right call!
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