Why am I doing so good?? I don't understand!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Why am I doing so good?? I don't understand!
Hi all, (I'm a recovering Alcoholic, was a heavy drinker, I'm 37)
I've stopped drinking June 4th and stopped smoking 2 weeks later June 18.
I am taking Zyban to help me with the Nicotine withdrawal. (It's also a mild anti-depressant)
I'm wondering if it's the Zyban but I'm doing unexpectedly well. Detoxifying was easy this time, with only a few sweats and nightmares the first 2 nights.
I feel awesome with only occasional mildly depressed moments that seem to only last 30 min to 1 hour. As soon as I do something to keep busy it goes away. I didn't go to AA yet but plan to eventually.
I'm in a financial mess from the drinking, yet don't feel overly stressed about it as I would normally.
I still have 1 month to go on Zyban and really afraid I will hit a brick wall when I stop.
I still won't drink/smoke cause I'm done and want to live long with my Son.
Do I feel ok because I know I'm really done and don't feel the constant internal battle anymore? Or am I high on the Zyban or something?
I've stopped drinking June 4th and stopped smoking 2 weeks later June 18.
I am taking Zyban to help me with the Nicotine withdrawal. (It's also a mild anti-depressant)
I'm wondering if it's the Zyban but I'm doing unexpectedly well. Detoxifying was easy this time, with only a few sweats and nightmares the first 2 nights.
I feel awesome with only occasional mildly depressed moments that seem to only last 30 min to 1 hour. As soon as I do something to keep busy it goes away. I didn't go to AA yet but plan to eventually.
I'm in a financial mess from the drinking, yet don't feel overly stressed about it as I would normally.
I still have 1 month to go on Zyban and really afraid I will hit a brick wall when I stop.
I still won't drink/smoke cause I'm done and want to live long with my Son.
Do I feel ok because I know I'm really done and don't feel the constant internal battle anymore? Or am I high on the Zyban or something?
sobriety date 5-2-12
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
Don't fight the good feeling! I have been wondering the same thing about myself.
Throwing up the white flag of surrender does free you, and this may be what's going on. I would urge you to find some f2f support for when the going gets tougher.
Throwing up the white flag of surrender does free you, and this may be what's going on. I would urge you to find some f2f support for when the going gets tougher.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Rocky Mountains, USA
Posts: 344
Excellent on you for quitting. Wow. Sounds like in some ways you don't believe you deserve for things to be so good, and you're anticipating a disaster. I do that too. But maybe you just get to have things easier now that you're free of alcohol and tobacco.
Instead of asking why it's so easy, how about just saying THANK YOU and feeling blessed. Also, remember that if challenges do arise, you're in a much better, clearer state of mind of handle them in a rational productive way.
It's all good!
Instead of asking why it's so easy, how about just saying THANK YOU and feeling blessed. Also, remember that if challenges do arise, you're in a much better, clearer state of mind of handle them in a rational productive way.
It's all good!
Sobriety date 12/19/2011
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 409
I have 6 months of sobriety, and I have felt that same way. My first two months, I was riding on a pink cloud, and everything in my life was great. Then Life hit, and I was forced to deal with some very serious issues. I am not on any anti's, I use flower essences, but I felt so high those first two months!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
"My first two months, I was riding on a pink cloud, and everything in my life was great."
My life does not feel great, I have major financial problems, ruined relationships, health issues. Etc. I'm ust saying I'm not obsessing or freaking out about my problems, I just attack them the best way that I can and accept the consequences of my previous actions. I look at the future positivelly cause I feel things can't get worst only better.
It's weird, It's like aeo1313, my white flag is way up. I can't fight this anymore and have no wish. I'm not super happy, not super sad, not super angry, my emotions just seem more controlled. If it's the Zyban then it's good for the first couple of months tp help me.
My life does not feel great, I have major financial problems, ruined relationships, health issues. Etc. I'm ust saying I'm not obsessing or freaking out about my problems, I just attack them the best way that I can and accept the consequences of my previous actions. I look at the future positivelly cause I feel things can't get worst only better.
It's weird, It's like aeo1313, my white flag is way up. I can't fight this anymore and have no wish. I'm not super happy, not super sad, not super angry, my emotions just seem more controlled. If it's the Zyban then it's good for the first couple of months tp help me.
In love with life.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: MA & UK
Posts: 64
I'm speaking from my own experience, and multiple tries at sobriety lasting anywhere from 3 days to 21 days and sometimes almost a month.....and as soon as those 'good feelings' appear and I feel like I am doing a great job at the battle I fail time and time again because I feel like I have 'it' under control. I can drink socially, not have just one more to put me beyond the edge of oblivion....and then I wake up the next day or week (which is usually the case) and have so much remorse and guilt, sometimes court dates, lost friendships, distraught family all wondering why I could do this after 'being so good'. I'm no pro at recovery but I am learning from my own experience that every time I have a false sense of sobriety, the demon comes back to bite me in the a$$, and the concequences get worse every time.
I dont know your story and I dont know how many times you've attempted sobriety, just be very cautious in the beginning. This is something I am still learning to do myself. I wish there was a better way, I wish I had all the answers, and I wish upon all wishes that I would learn from the last bender I went on yet I still forget just how severe it was last time and put myself into the same situation I was once in, only worse. This addiction is a true killer, cunning, baffling.... I personally hate it but its better than cancer, WE have a choice. If only it were that simple. Much love xxx
I dont know your story and I dont know how many times you've attempted sobriety, just be very cautious in the beginning. This is something I am still learning to do myself. I wish there was a better way, I wish I had all the answers, and I wish upon all wishes that I would learn from the last bender I went on yet I still forget just how severe it was last time and put myself into the same situation I was once in, only worse. This addiction is a true killer, cunning, baffling.... I personally hate it but its better than cancer, WE have a choice. If only it were that simple. Much love xxx
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Zyban is bupoprion which is an antidepressant (Wellbutrin).
Perhaps talk to your doctor, about everything, tell him or her how it makes a positive difference in your life and what are the pros and cons of continuing taking it.
Perhaps talk to your doctor, about everything, tell him or her how it makes a positive difference in your life and what are the pros and cons of continuing taking it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I will for sure, thanks.
But right now it's a blessing, I only have another month to go on it and It's not addictive.
But I agree, I have to find out the role it's playing in my easy recovery. ;-)
But right now it's a blessing, I only have another month to go on it and It's not addictive.
But I agree, I have to find out the role it's playing in my easy recovery. ;-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welp, theres this thing call the pink cloud.
Then comes a day, followed by a series of days or weeks, where the addict or alcoholic experiences acceptance. He or she is excited at the prospect of what recovery from addiction and alcoholism has to offer and feel as if they have grasped what it takes to maintain quality recovery. All the work they have done in their addiction treatment center and self help group has paid off and they experience a reprieve from all the difficulties that have crossed their path. This reprieve, which is actually a feeling, lasts but for a period of time and as with any feeling, comes and goes. As this feeling of excitement and acceptance passes, the risk for relapse is great as the addict or alcoholic begin to doubt the quality of their recovery. They become scared and thoughts of their drug addiction or alcoholism reappear. Addicts and alcoholics will experience this “pink cloud” phenomenon many times in recovery. They become more committed to their relapse prevention program as their ability to cope up with feelings and situations increase and hence less likely the relapse is to occur.
from what i have seen, many in early recovery think that life is a bed of roses now that alcohol is removed. then a thorn from that rose bed pokes em and they get drunk.
one way to handle the pink could is knowing that this,too shall pass. they come back though.
Then comes a day, followed by a series of days or weeks, where the addict or alcoholic experiences acceptance. He or she is excited at the prospect of what recovery from addiction and alcoholism has to offer and feel as if they have grasped what it takes to maintain quality recovery. All the work they have done in their addiction treatment center and self help group has paid off and they experience a reprieve from all the difficulties that have crossed their path. This reprieve, which is actually a feeling, lasts but for a period of time and as with any feeling, comes and goes. As this feeling of excitement and acceptance passes, the risk for relapse is great as the addict or alcoholic begin to doubt the quality of their recovery. They become scared and thoughts of their drug addiction or alcoholism reappear. Addicts and alcoholics will experience this “pink cloud” phenomenon many times in recovery. They become more committed to their relapse prevention program as their ability to cope up with feelings and situations increase and hence less likely the relapse is to occur.
from what i have seen, many in early recovery think that life is a bed of roses now that alcohol is removed. then a thorn from that rose bed pokes em and they get drunk.
one way to handle the pink could is knowing that this,too shall pass. they come back though.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 115
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
welp, theres this thing call the pink cloud.
Then comes a day, followed by a series of days or weeks, where the addict or alcoholic experiences acceptance. He or she is excited at the prospect of what recovery from addiction and alcoholism has to offer and feel as if they have grasped what it takes to maintain quality recovery. All the work they have done in their addiction treatment center and self help group has paid off and they experience a reprieve from all the difficulties that have crossed their path. This reprieve, which is actually a feeling, lasts but for a period of time and as with any feeling, comes and goes. As this feeling of excitement and acceptance passes, the risk for relapse is great as the addict or alcoholic begin to doubt the quality of their recovery. They become scared and thoughts of their drug addiction or alcoholism reappear. Addicts and alcoholics will experience this “pink cloud” phenomenon many times in recovery. They become more committed to their relapse prevention program as their ability to cope up with feelings and situations increase and hence less likely the relapse is to occur.
from what i have seen, many in early recovery think that life is a bed of roses now that alcohol is removed. then a thorn from that rose bed pokes em and they get drunk.
one way to handle the pink could is knowing that this,too shall pass. they come back though.
Then comes a day, followed by a series of days or weeks, where the addict or alcoholic experiences acceptance. He or she is excited at the prospect of what recovery from addiction and alcoholism has to offer and feel as if they have grasped what it takes to maintain quality recovery. All the work they have done in their addiction treatment center and self help group has paid off and they experience a reprieve from all the difficulties that have crossed their path. This reprieve, which is actually a feeling, lasts but for a period of time and as with any feeling, comes and goes. As this feeling of excitement and acceptance passes, the risk for relapse is great as the addict or alcoholic begin to doubt the quality of their recovery. They become scared and thoughts of their drug addiction or alcoholism reappear. Addicts and alcoholics will experience this “pink cloud” phenomenon many times in recovery. They become more committed to their relapse prevention program as their ability to cope up with feelings and situations increase and hence less likely the relapse is to occur.
from what i have seen, many in early recovery think that life is a bed of roses now that alcohol is removed. then a thorn from that rose bed pokes em and they get drunk.
one way to handle the pink could is knowing that this,too shall pass. they come back though.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Never heard of the pink cloud before. Thanks.
So, when the pink cloud goes, there's blue sky!
Thats the optimists way to look at it, I like it!
I'm having a good day today, ask me again tomorrow!
So, when the pink cloud goes, there's blue sky!
Thats the optimists way to look at it, I like it!
I'm having a good day today, ask me again tomorrow!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
When I get on that pink cloud, I'll be sure to tell you
Seriously, the last couple of days, I've finally turned to my higher power. When the cravings come, I take hold of the ankh I wear round my neck and say, "Father, take this thirst from me." In the morning I take hold of my ankh and say, "Father, guide my steps today."
I've stopped arguing with the beast. I tell her, "Catherine, STFU," or "Catherine, get out." That's helped. I've finally accepted that yes, I'm an alcoholic. It's not a nice feeling.
Now if only I could find the courage to find a sponsor. That's the next thing to do.
Seriously, the last couple of days, I've finally turned to my higher power. When the cravings come, I take hold of the ankh I wear round my neck and say, "Father, take this thirst from me." In the morning I take hold of my ankh and say, "Father, guide my steps today."
I've stopped arguing with the beast. I tell her, "Catherine, STFU," or "Catherine, get out." That's helped. I've finally accepted that yes, I'm an alcoholic. It's not a nice feeling.
Now if only I could find the courage to find a sponsor. That's the next thing to do.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Pink cloud?
I've been keeping mine flying high for years by connecting
with God and AA. No med's required
Hope everyone is enjoying another day free of their addictions..
I've been keeping mine flying high for years by connecting
with God and AA. No med's required
Hope everyone is enjoying another day free of their addictions..
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,935
Originally Posted by Zee
So, when the pink cloud goes, there's blue sky!
Thats the optimists way to look at it, I like it!
Thats the optimists way to look at it, I like it!
When my pink cloud faded I picked up a pink attitude. The good attitude (optimist) I'm finding persist far far longer than the fluffy cloud
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
I think you can still feel better. From what I have read anti-depressants are not "happy" pills. They are just supposed to balance out chemicals in your brain that are not at the right levels for whatever reason. In other words, they just normalize you from being abnormally depressed, but have no effect on someone who is not depressed. Some people get that balance back in a short time and others are on anti-depressants for life. I would talk to your doc about it. I took zoloft for months and it really helped me a lot, but I lost my job and had to stop.
take care
take care
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