Who am I?
Abnormally normal
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 306
Originally Posted by DarrenW 
I am still pretty early in my sobriety. 7.5 months. My issues were pretty bad:
I resented nearly everyone in my life. If they ever harmed me in any way I held it against them.
I thought everyone was better than me. Everyone. I thought that people were always judging me. I was scared to enter a room with people because they might say bad things about me. In a group I was afraid to talk because I just didnt have anything worthy to say. I agreed with anything people told me about a situation...after all, they were better than me so my opinion should be withheld. Big time inferiority complex...huge!
The Fearless book is on BN.com. I bought it recently. I wish it was a lendme book and I could let you borrow it!
I resented nearly everyone in my life. If they ever harmed me in any way I held it against them.
I thought everyone was better than me. Everyone. I thought that people were always judging me. I was scared to enter a room with people because they might say bad things about me. In a group I was afraid to talk because I just didnt have anything worthy to say. I agreed with anything people told me about a situation...after all, they were better than me so my opinion should be withheld. Big time inferiority complex...huge!
The Fearless book is on BN.com. I bought it recently. I wish it was a lendme book and I could let you borrow it!
That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. I don't know if its one of many, or one because of the many issues. But it definitely is a huge obstacle I need to get over.
But that's what I mean..where do I start? Am I like this because of that, or am I like that because of this? Ahhh...I guess its like the alcoholic mysteries no one can answer. Why am I like this? Why me? Why can't I stop.
Once you stop asking those questions and just accept what is, you're a step closer to dealing with it all.
I had a good night last night. Stayed on chat and met a new friend as well as laughed like I haven't laughed in so long, with 2 others. They truly made my night bearable. Ef that, they made it fun.
Got a lot of book suggestions last night as well. I love reading, so I'm all over it.
You guys are the best. It took a long time for me to open up and even admit this about myself. It was easier to open up about sh!t I've done while drinking than go into detail like this. It feels really liberating.
Ha..I guess this has become my journal.
Take that, empty, blank, judging pages!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 379
Hello my simplyfab new friend
A lot of what you wrote resonates with me.
I first started drinking at 18 at college. I was incrfedibly shy back then and alcohol allowed me to open up, make friends and feel accepted.
Unfortunately it was a crutch that then took me the guts of 2 decades to break.
I am now no longer shy (not by half) but it was only 6 months ago that I was able to see that alcohol did nothing for me. I did not need it to fe accepted and I did not need it to enjoy myself.
I too have asked myself over the years who am I? and I dont think I have ever really known. I do know now that I am a very different person sober to the one i was when i was drinking.
I finally see that I have goals and ambition. In the past I just accepted my lot because I did not have the energy or motivation to better myself.
We can do whatever we want and it has taken me to age 39 and six months off alcohol to get my backside into gear, to believe in myself and know that it is Ok that I did not know earlier.
Love yourself simply, faults and all, we all have them, and it doesn't mean you are not good enough.
A song for you:
Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) - YouTube
Sunny xx :ghug3
A lot of what you wrote resonates with me.
I first started drinking at 18 at college. I was incrfedibly shy back then and alcohol allowed me to open up, make friends and feel accepted.
Unfortunately it was a crutch that then took me the guts of 2 decades to break.
I am now no longer shy (not by half) but it was only 6 months ago that I was able to see that alcohol did nothing for me. I did not need it to fe accepted and I did not need it to enjoy myself.
I too have asked myself over the years who am I? and I dont think I have ever really known. I do know now that I am a very different person sober to the one i was when i was drinking.
I finally see that I have goals and ambition. In the past I just accepted my lot because I did not have the energy or motivation to better myself.
We can do whatever we want and it has taken me to age 39 and six months off alcohol to get my backside into gear, to believe in myself and know that it is Ok that I did not know earlier.
Love yourself simply, faults and all, we all have them, and it doesn't mean you are not good enough.
A song for you:
Baz Luhrmann - Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen) - YouTube
Sunny xx :ghug3
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