Just can't seem to win....
Sarge
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by CarolD 
By now the alcohol is gone from your body and mind...
That thinking is not true...Just one...or 3....is not going to help
a darn thing...
Early on I found keeping a journal useful.
I used a pen and paper...Page 1 I listed all the bad things
where drinking was a factor.
Page 2 ..a list of my new goals and what I could do about them.
I made a point of writing each day...so I could gage my
progress and see what areas I could improve.
For me...not everything was easy or fixable...but with a
sober brain...I could make healthy choices..
This helped me get real and I could then move into sobreity...
Good to see you here again....8 days into your new sober future..
That thinking is not true...Just one...or 3....is not going to help
a darn thing...
Early on I found keeping a journal useful.
I used a pen and paper...Page 1 I listed all the bad things
where drinking was a factor.
Page 2 ..a list of my new goals and what I could do about them.
I made a point of writing each day...so I could gage my
progress and see what areas I could improve.
For me...not everything was easy or fixable...but with a
sober brain...I could make healthy choices..
This helped me get real and I could then move into sobreity...
Good to see you here again....8 days into your new sober future..
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
First I apologize for not catching your post when originally started this thread.
So, .................................... a BIG BIG THANK YOU for your service!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not sure that one meeting a week at this point is the best for you.
If you have a VA center near you, please check and see what AA meetings they have there each week. I suggest the VA center first, because it is there that you will find many just like you, with issues just like yours, with the PTSD, anxiety, etc and some times it is much easier (but still hard) to identify with folks just like ourselves. You also may find some new sober friends that just might become friends for life.
With a few AA meetings at the VA center or near it, lol then you will know a bit more about the meetings and can probably branch out to some close to your residence, and again will start to make some new friends, some of which may become friends for life.
Ideally you will also look for a sponsor (a guide) to take you through the Big Book of AA and explain the directions about the 12 Steps, and work with you through each step.
I admire you for what you are doing, because I personally know how hard it is. I self medicated for 24 years before finally seeking and finding recovery.
I can tell you that your life will get better every day by a little bit. There may be some days that are the real 'pits'. I found I needed those also, so I had something to compare my 'good' days to, lol But overall life will get better, and better, and better.
I am glad that you have found SR as it too will be a GREAT tool in your new 'tool box.'
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much!
Again, THANK YOU for your service.
Love and hugs,
So, .................................... a BIG BIG THANK YOU for your service!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am not sure that one meeting a week at this point is the best for you.
If you have a VA center near you, please check and see what AA meetings they have there each week. I suggest the VA center first, because it is there that you will find many just like you, with issues just like yours, with the PTSD, anxiety, etc and some times it is much easier (but still hard) to identify with folks just like ourselves. You also may find some new sober friends that just might become friends for life.
With a few AA meetings at the VA center or near it, lol then you will know a bit more about the meetings and can probably branch out to some close to your residence, and again will start to make some new friends, some of which may become friends for life.
Ideally you will also look for a sponsor (a guide) to take you through the Big Book of AA and explain the directions about the 12 Steps, and work with you through each step.
I admire you for what you are doing, because I personally know how hard it is. I self medicated for 24 years before finally seeking and finding recovery.
I can tell you that your life will get better every day by a little bit. There may be some days that are the real 'pits'. I found I needed those also, so I had something to compare my 'good' days to, lol But overall life will get better, and better, and better.
I am glad that you have found SR as it too will be a GREAT tool in your new 'tool box.'
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much!
Again, THANK YOU for your service.
Love and hugs,
Sarge
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 30
And I am back...I was sober 10 months on my own...I relapsed recently and am finding it WAY easy to drink, because I am no where near 10 months...so the few days sober here and there are easy to ignore...because I feel that I failed...I have never relapsed before like this...Any advice would help! Right now I see no reason not to drink...Yes I know my health and stuff....but the failure and relapse is messing with my alcoholic brain...
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome back. Sorry you are stuggling.
You can't convince yourself, so I doubt I have the words to convince you other than saying, just don't drink.
Don't wait to feel like quitting. Just quit.
I liken it to physical therapy. You might not feel like doing it, but it is the doing it regardless of liking it that gets us healed and feeling better about doing the work to stay healthy.
Same with sobriety.
Originally Posted by Sarge1CD
Any advice would help! Right now I see no reason not to drink...Yes I know my health and stuff....but the failure and relapse is messing with my alcoholic brain...
Don't wait to feel like quitting. Just quit.
I liken it to physical therapy. You might not feel like doing it, but it is the doing it regardless of liking it that gets us healed and feeling better about doing the work to stay healthy.
Same with sobriety.
DOS: 11/6/10
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
Sarge, you'll have to come up with your own reasons for wanting to quit, but I suggest that if you really sit down and look around you, you'll come up with some answers quite quickly. Are you willing to risk grave illness that will make your family have to care for you and worry over you? Are you willing to risk a DUI that might possibly not only take your life in a not so delicate manner, but might take innocent lives out with you? Are you willing to become "that guy" that you looked at in earlier years and felt so much pity for?
If the answer to any of these is NO, then you are already starting your list of reasons. I can only tell you what worked for me and that is a program of recovery requiring constant attention, contact with others like me, and lots of introspection and work on myself.
I've never been happier. Or healthier. You can have that too.
If the answer to any of these is NO, then you are already starting your list of reasons. I can only tell you what worked for me and that is a program of recovery requiring constant attention, contact with others like me, and lots of introspection and work on myself.
I've never been happier. Or healthier. You can have that too.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Originally Posted by Sarge1CD
because I feel that I failed...I have never relapsed before like this...Any advice would help! Right now I see no reason not to drink...Yes I know my health and stuff....but the failure and relapse is messing with my alcoholic brain...
So... realize you can't go back. It is what it is. Have to start where you are right now... and move forward.
You can do it
Sarge
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 30
Well, it has been almost a year...I have been nervous to come back on this forum with yet another relapse under my belt, felt like everyone would be angry with me. Even though I don't know any of you guys silly, I know. But I talked to my VA Therapist and he said that be bets that the exact opposite would happen, and that you all would be happy so see me back. So, I am back with 102 days sober from drinking! I haven't been going to meetings and one again doing things on my own like a jackass. I guess I am back here because I feel that support would help, now that I am getting to that stage of being able to be around people who drink without partaking myself. Hope to hear from you all soon.
silly, I know. But I talked to my VA Therapist and he said that be bets that the exact opposite would happen, and that you all would be happy so see me back. So, I am back with 102 days sober from drinking! I haven't been going to meetings and one again doing things on my own like a jackass. I guess I am back here because I feel that support would help, now that I am getting to that stage of being able to be around people who drink without partaking myself. Hope to hear from you all soon.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Welcome back!
I was in and out of recovery when I started out. 10 months sober on antabuse, then out drinking again. Months of weeks on/weeks off after that. Sometimes I could stay sober for months, then I would drink and stay drunk for months. I thought I would never get off the merry go round!
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself and say you are a jackass for trying to do it on your own! We all tried that, I think, it's a normal thing to do.
I hope you do consider a program. It can be anything, AA, RR, a program through a rehab. The most important thing is not really what kind of program, it is that you stick with it!
I made getting sober a full time job. Drinking had taken over my mind, body and soul and I had to focus on getting sober: everything else could wait.
I was in and out of recovery when I started out. 10 months sober on antabuse, then out drinking again. Months of weeks on/weeks off after that. Sometimes I could stay sober for months, then I would drink and stay drunk for months. I thought I would never get off the merry go round!
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself and say you are a jackass for trying to do it on your own! We all tried that, I think, it's a normal thing to do.
I hope you do consider a program. It can be anything, AA, RR, a program through a rehab. The most important thing is not really what kind of program, it is that you stick with it!
I made getting sober a full time job. Drinking had taken over my mind, body and soul and I had to focus on getting sober: everything else could wait.
Sarge
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by littlefish
Welcome back!
I was in and out of recovery when I started out. 10 months sober on antabuse, then out drinking again. Months of weeks on/weeks off after that. Sometimes I could stay sober for months, then I would drink and stay drunk for months. I thought I would never get off the merry go round!
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself and say you are a jackass for trying to do it on your own! We all tried that, I think, it's a normal thing to do.
I hope you do consider a program. It can be anything, AA, RR, a program through a rehab. The most important thing is not really what kind of program, it is that you stick with it!
I made getting sober a full time job. Drinking had taken over my mind, body and soul and I had to focus on getting sober: everything else could wait.
I was in and out of recovery when I started out. 10 months sober on antabuse, then out drinking again. Months of weeks on/weeks off after that. Sometimes I could stay sober for months, then I would drink and stay drunk for months. I thought I would never get off the merry go round!
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself and say you are a jackass for trying to do it on your own! We all tried that, I think, it's a normal thing to do.
I hope you do consider a program. It can be anything, AA, RR, a program through a rehab. The most important thing is not really what kind of program, it is that you stick with it!
I made getting sober a full time job. Drinking had taken over my mind, body and soul and I had to focus on getting sober: everything else could wait.
Sarge
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 30
What is wrong with me...I went another 6-7 months sober and BAM back to drinking...even though I knew is was wrong. There was no reason, other than boredom...I don't believe EVERYONE has to hit rock bottom and be living on the streets before they can quit drinking. I just don't know why I go 6 months and start again...I think it is because I feel like I am not a drunk after time passes...and the fact that I have NO support...I can't seem to get into a recovery group...I have a hard time opening up. I don't know what I expect while writing this. I am just lost...why can't I get the motivation to go to places that will help me? Even while sober? What am I doing here...
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
I had to understand this........
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
hope you find the help you need, glad you posted
fly
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
hope you find the help you need, glad you posted
fly
Sarge
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by Flynbuy
I had to understand this........
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
hope you find the help you need, glad you posted
fly
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
hope you find the help you need, glad you posted
fly
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
The outcome really is in your hands Sarge...make changes, find help and support for that next time when you convince yourself drinking again is ok - and you'll find change.
Do nothing and....well, you know the rest...
D
Do nothing and....well, you know the rest...
D
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