wonderfullife

I am trying very hard to understand at a deep level that I am not missing anything. I am gaining everything. try to remember that we had everything once. the joy of childhood is still in our brains. we just have to scrape of the rust.

keepfinding2

Whatever works for you.

RunnerMD2be

Whether science can cure alcoholism or not, today or one day in the future(I see it possible), it doesn't matter unless you have the prescription in your hand or you're on the operating table. Wishing something to be true, doesn't make it true.

I'm an alcoholic today, and that's how I have to live.

Taking5

If you were to replace "alcohol" and "alcoholics" with references to "shellfish" and "shellfish allery", would it still seem incredibly unfair? I love me some shrimp, but if the Dr. told me I had an incurable shellfish allergy and I could never eat them, I just try to find find something else good to eat. I wouldn't spend too much time pouting over my inability to eat shrimp.

Of course, I'm not addicted to shrimp, I just like them a lot. Your thinking here is really your addiction thinking "poor me". Just recgonize that and move on.

Fallow

Yeah its irritating.

Maybe test number 1001 will let me prove I can become nonalcoholic.

I think I lost the faith.

I still get goosebumps when I think of never having another drink again.
At the same time I fear peeking any further down the rabbit hole especially if im not already trapped in it. I hope I know what Im gonna do.

KDL

Fortunately, after reading all of these responses, a good meeting, and a really good talk with my go to AA person, I have gained some insight into this.

1- I am grateful that my progressive, fatal disease can be arrested by simply not drinking.
2- I have been able to recognize most of this thinking is my alcoholic thinking, and need to treat it as just that.
3- Felt encouraged by the understanding of other alcoholics relaying their own mentality in early sobriety, and put faith in their assurances that if I keep doing the right things, it will get better.
4- Refocused on the truth. If I drink, eventually I will lose everything. I have too many important things in my life, and I will not allow that to happen.

pinkdog

41 days is great! Good job! Everyone has problems. This just happens to be yours. Accept it. The happiest, most successful people I know do not drink. They just have better things to do. Keep going! Sobriety does get better.

soberbrooke

I have the same issues. I now have 6 months of sobriety though, but those feelings of not being able to drink surface all the time. I am now being faced with "am I going to be a boring mom?"

I am hoping that I will get over this real soon, I do not want to live my life sober and unhappy, but I do NOT want to live my life Drinking and Miserably Unhappy.

doggonecarl

Great insight. Glad to hear you shook off the recovery doldrums. If you work on your sobriety as hard as you worked on your drinking, you'll be fine.

sable1

I was very angry about it as well. I thought to myself: "This is so unfair, I like drinking more than anyone I know, I enjoy it more than most people I know, yet I am the person who has to give it up? The one activity that I love more than anything else I'm gonna have to give up, while other people can keep doing it forever...."
That is how my thoughts went. It took me a loong time to accept that I'm an alcoholic and that drinking will always lead to bad things for me. I still haven't really accepted that I can never drink again, so I just think: "I'm sober for now, and in the future I might drink again, or I might not."

frances2011

Great thread, great shares, great insights.

My experience is similar to someone upthread who said that the most successful people they know don't drink at all, even though they could. I'm modeling myself and my success similarly on people who are going for their dreams through consistent dedicated hard work and awareness.

I've come to the shellfish analogy. Oh well, I can't drink booze. *shrug* I've got too many other pots cooking on the stove to spend much time thinking about it. Except for how happy I am to be sober every morning!

CONGRATS on your sober time.

NYCDoglvr

KDL...........Bravo, you're doing great.

During my 90 days I cried most of the time and fortunately turned my decisions over to other alcoholics. After all, my best thinking got me drunk. It's a time of mood swings. Learning to live in my sober head was very tough for me. But everything gets better and one of the biggest benefits was getting some self-esteem because I am sober.

Veritas1

You can do it Fallow.

Each day is a new beginning.

And...you can start your day over at any time.

Keep going. Never give up.

I heard the other day a new definition for faith.

Faith is commitment.

onlythetruth

At some level, the whole idea of resenting a simple thing like not being able to drink is really quite bizarre.

Of all the physical or mental health issues a person could have, I'd say alcoholism is one of the better ones. I'm actually terribly glad that if I have to have a health issue, that I have something so easily remedied. I don't drink; I live a healthy life; I'm okay. My mom with Alzheimers can't change her situation by giving up an a beverage that's entirely unnecessary to her bodily health; neither can my aunt, with breast cancer, but as long as I don't drink, I'm healthy as a horse.

I feel pretty damn lucky, actually.