NewHouse2012

Hi there.
I'm on vacation and in my old trigger zone. My in law family (who I'm visiting) and I used to have some really crazy times together -naturally drinking and smoking a lot of herb. Well I don't have a plan to say no and I should have thought of one before I got here. I came here to their house and dodged the first night of drinking. When the store run happened for liquor and they wanted my order I just said "I'm just not really drinking anymore, then got flustered and said "is that ok?" stupid I know! MIL replied in a joking matter, no its not ok that you don't drink. She left it at that and never said anything more. I feel good to dodge the bullet tonight but man the triggers are just everywhere. Any support would be greatly appreciated. I have 8 more days till I make day 60, these numbers are starting to really mean something to me and I don't want to lose these numbers now! We used to have some great times together but I don't miss the hang overs and acting out, terrible low energy and depression after the vacation is over. I must keep telling myself this to get thru.i want to make it clear to them that alcohol is not in my plans this trip or anymore but have no clue how to say it swiftly and meaningfully. I go back and forth like I can handle just a couple with dinner after all this time being sober, but ultimately know where this will lead. This conniving problem will follow me home and ruin everything I've worked so hard to accomplish. Sorry. It just feels good to get this off my chest. I'm kinda a people pleaser too and don't want people to think they can't have fun around me just because I'm not partying.

Dee74

Hi New House

Sounds like a tough one - if you're into something like AA, now would probably be a *great* time to hit a meeting, or even to hit your first one.

If not, I think you're gonna have to stop worrying about people pleasing - maybe even bite the bullet and tell a few people whats going on.

They may not understand your struggle - but you do - the most important person you have to please is yourself.

Give yourself the gift of getting through this vacation sober - remember it's the first drink that brings everything undone.

Here are some tips for family get togethers
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

it's nominally for Thanksgiving but I think you'll get some help from it.
It's never too late to make a plan, ya know?

I'd stick *really* close to SR as well.

D

walktheline1

Don't give in! It doesn't sound like they are that concerned you're not drinking, so don't worry about it. As for the triggers maybe you could try to do something different with them that you used to do (bowling, board games, hiking, etc.) Good luck!

CarolD

Being around drinkers for that long ammount of time certainly
would not be what I consider a vacation....
Is there any way you could leave early?

If not...how about making a verbal stand ..just tell all of them
"I've quit drinking alcohol...I've developed an allergy to it"

Lots of people don't drink or have quit for various reasons.
including their health.
That should be enough info for anyone...

Prayers coming your way for a safe and sober future..

FaithfulQuest

I will be in that same situation here in about 3 weeks. I have my husband's support and plan on telling his best buddy that we're close to (since he usually funds the first run.) The others, I've decided to just say, "I've given it up, b/c I felt crappy when I didn't." What I'm afraid of the most is too much focus on the issue of my not drinking. I don't want to hear how a couple won't, it's healthy to have a few, here just take a sip. That's the kind of MIL I have. With my husband's help and his buddy's, I'll need that reinforcement so I won't have to argue with her as to why I'm not indulging.

Stick with it...people pleasing isn't worth throwing away the success you've had. Coming up on 60??? That's awesome!!!

NewHouse2012

Yes and I have my little one to focus on. The point of the trip is for them to see my daughter. I'm just trying to focus on her and find fun things for us to do, and it's easy because she is an active little one lol. Feel so good this morning after a good nights sleep. Funny, after I didn't drink last night, they just tapered off and my mil and I enjoyed a good conversation and water before bed. Thank you for your support. These little things help get me thru.

winslynn

Don't smoke any marijuana whatever you do,it'll change your thinking and you may start drinking again.I was offered drinks in my early sobriety,I told people that I quit drinking because it made me sick.That's all they had to know....I have no moral obligation to tell them how it was,what happened,and how its like now.
Think about you,not them or what they may think.

Payton

One thing I might do if I were in your shoes would be to get out and exercise on a daily basis - get away from them - get some space and fresh air. Take a walk or a jog early in the morning, or in the evening, or whenever you need it, to clear your thoughts.

Keep checking in here at SR!

Have you talked to your spouse about your concerns?