Can an alcoholic work in a bar?
 

My brother was hospitalized due to having three seizures, and nearly dying due to his alcoholism. That was three weeks ago. I was with my brother and my parents last night where they were discussing a job opportunity they thought would be really good for him, being a bartender. My parents were also drinking scotch in front of him. I just dont know if this is normal or healthy. I find it odd that my parents are encouraging him to work as a bartender, considering everything that has happened and he has received no treatment. Is any of this healthy?

IMO, just getting into recovery, NONE of it is healthy. it sounds like yer parents arent educated on the disease of alcoholism. you may want to get some literature for them to read so they can get a better understanding.

hang around the barbershop long enough and eventaully he'll get a haircut.

IMO I would say it depends on the type of bar. For example, if it's a bar/restaurant type of place it might be okay. Especially if it's a chain restaurant where they usually don't allow drinking on the job or after work at the place. But if it's like the bars I use to drink in. The ones where beef jerkey and pretzels are the main food group then no. I guess the term is "dive bars".

I know some who do...and kept drinking.
I know some who do..and do not drink.

Me? to protect my early fragile sobriety...i left my long time career
in the hospitality industry and took an office position.
So...I was one who did not stay sober while working with alcohol.

Sorry to know of this situation....hope your brother remains sober.

I've heard lots of sayings in my time in AA - the one that comes to mind here "If you don't want to slip, stay out of slippery places"

I stayed well clear of anywhere there was drinking in my early recovery years. That being said, you can't force what you feel is right or wrong on anyone, especially a drunk. I know that from personal experience, and everyone that tried to 'make my life better'. The more they tried the more I rebelled and the more they got frustrated.

Just passing by a bar is a trigger for me. I could only imagine working in one. I'm an alcoholic I think I would suck at my job if I worked in a bar. I remember going for a job interview at a big outlet liquor store. Thank God I was so hanged over the manager never hired me.

If I was an alcoholic and and was a bartender I'd be fired in a week. The stress off a job is bad enough let alone working with your favorite vice.

I was not a bartender but worked in a bar surrounded by alcohol in my control for years while in recovery.
The only thing I found hard was the smell. Disgusting.

Not healthy. It sounds like your parents are in denial. Why would they drink in front of him? That's not right. A bar is the last place for a recovering alcoholic. Now that I'm 2 years sober, I can go in them but I don't want to. Sounds like the truth is wearing a veil here. Need more open communication. God bless you and your family.

I'm sure your brother's AA sponsor will guide him wisely.

All the best.

Bob R

I don't really understand their way of thinking. What does your brother think about this? Is he serious about quitting alcohol? Has he been sober those three weeks? If yes, that is fantastic and I applaud him. Has he mentioned concerns over this new job? If he has concerns, then it most definitely is not the right place for him to work. Being constantly surrounded by alcohol could be a massive difficulty for him... or it may not. The only person who knows how he will react is himself, but even then he may think he can handle it when he might not be able to. In those early weeks it is best to avoid alcohol in every way possible.

Maybe you should direct your brother here? He may find that it helps him hugely.

I once sponsored a man who was a professional barman.When he made amends to his ex employer they offered him his old job back,he took the job and has been sober for some years now.But......He was an active AA member who had worked the steps and was on firm spiritual ground.His main trouble came from dishonesty,they give the customer free drinks and big pours to enhance the tip they receive.He had to modify that behaviour as it started to bother his conscience.

Thank you so much for your response...May I ask you why you think it isn't right for my parents to drink in front of my brother? I am new to all of this...thanks again.

temptation.

Perhaps your parents have a different idea of what is and isn't alcoholism. You say your brother was hospitalized due to his 'alcoholism'... if this is a medical opinion offered by the doctors, then your parents are clearly out of touch with how to support your brother, and you, for that matter, since you sound really concerned.

Families having alcoholic challenges are usually dysfunctional, and it looks like there are some real mis-communications going on about what is what with drinking, if they are discussing this with a scotch in their hands.

Normal and healthy?

No, I don't think so, and apparently neither do you. I hope you, your brother, and your parents can come to more positive collective agreements on how best to support each other through the seriousness of your brother having seizures, which are apparently, alcoholic.

There is plenty of information and support on SR. Good to know your reaching out for better answers for your brother.

This is an old post I found on Google and I'm subscribed to this site. Wanted to comment on it.

I'm 37 and an alcoholic for almost 20 years. I'm 17 months sober and do managerial/administrative work for 3 restaurants. (2 pizzerias, one of which sells wine, beer and liquor and 1 fine dining italian restaurant with a bar.) I do all the wine inventory/ordering, liquor ordering and pick up it all plus the beer.

I have worked this job for 8 years now and am having a lot of difficulty being in this environment.

The problem that I see is that alcohol and active drinking alcoholics are everywhere. I don't work behind the bar and I know I couldn't. I cringe a lot of the time just walking by the bar and watching people drink. Spend so much time just sitting there drinking. It definitely doesn't help with keeping my mind off of it.

It's been a couple of years now from the original post. I'm curious as to what your brother chose to do.

Welcome to SR frankh :)

I know I couldn't have managed it, not newly sober.

D

Some are in the field already, making it hard to change careers. But, for a alcoholic new to sobriety this type of job could be the beginning of a fast relapse ?
Mountainman

I couldn't do it. Day 64

I was going to say it wouldn't be a problem but the more I think about it I'm not sure.

I just got this weird vision of spilling some vodka on my hand and licking it off or something.

I'm on the fence on this one.

I think it would probably be fine. If someone wants liquor there are stores everywhere. I guess on that same token, if someone doesn't drink no matter what, they could just see it as work.