CactusJill

I am asking this seriously - no intention to categorize people or offend.

I have been in and out of AA meetings since 2004, and one thing I have had difficulty with is the fact that in nearly every meeting, the people there tend to have hit a very, very low bottom and I never meet anyone in my line of work or with my level of education. There is nothing wrong with that and I definitely don't have a superiority complex (my long term bf is a server in a restaurant).

But I am curious. Where do all the nerds like me go? I am a professor, and I have never, ever met anyone that was highly educated, or business owners, or anything like that in any meeting I have been to. And I have been to many, many meetings in 2 different states.

It may be possible that there are professional, educated people at meetings who just don't talk about it, but in my experience most people in AA are completely open about their jobs and almost everything else.

I like SR because I meet a much greater variety of people here than I do in f2f meetings. So please don't take my question personally. I know many people here are very educated or are very professionally successful. I just don't see that in f2f meetings.

Any ideas?

Sapling

Meetings tend to attract people from what part of town they are in....That's just how it is...I picked a meeting that's down the street from a homeless shelter...It keeps me green....I prefer to be around people that have lost it all...But we still have professional people that go to that meeting...There is another group that meets about 20 minutes from there that is all professionals...I just like the one I'm at...Seek and you shall find.

Jeni26

I've only been to meetings for the past few months, but I've met teachers, journalists, police inspectors and wealthy business owners. Their stories are exactly the same as everyone else's. Being a teacher myself I have latched on to another teacher because we share that knowledge of our profession which gives us common ground, so I can understand what you mean.
I learn so much from listening to others though, irrespective of where they come from or what their life experiences are. It sort of enriches it for me. I love listening to the people who have been in the rooms a long time the best, they really know what they're talking about.
I don't think it matters truthfully what people do in their day jobs, it's identifying with how they feel that's important, and learning from those who've found their way xx

Sugah

"Anonymity is the spiritual foundation..."

What we do outside the rooms doesn't matter when we're inside the rooms. I recall my surprise when I began learning what people do for a living. Sure, lots are blue collar, or disabled, or chronically unemployed. But plenty of us are educated and have realized some level of material success. We have business owners, teachers, medical professionals, many in the legal profession. It's just not relevant to our alcoholism.

I'm an MFA, taught three years in a large university, now work in the mental health field. My husband is an attorney. My sponsor is a MSW, his sponsor used to be in finance and (by choice!) works in a bar. I have sponsored a clinical psychologist, a paralegal, a civil servant, artists & writers.

How much are you connecting with AA folks outside of meetings?

Peace & Love,
Sugah

CactusJill

I have heard that meetings tend to correspond with the part of town, but truthfully, I haven't found that. I think it is great that so many of you have found a diverse group of people, but I have not.

I agree that no one is better than anyone else, and that is not what I was getting at. I tried to emphasize that, but perhaps I wasn't clear enough.

My only point was that I would like to meet people like me who can discuss, for example, getting tenure, or negotiating professional conferences as a sober person. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. And I haven't met anyone like that in any AA meeting I have been to, and I make a point of going to many different meetings all over town.

I would love to socialize, but I am the single parent of three small children and I work freelance as well as teach full time. So.... I am just grateful I can go to meetings at all!

Sapling

Try to identify...And not compare.

CactusJill

Sapling... sigh.... I think you are missing the point. I do not think I am better than anyone else. I don't give a fig about someone's social status. I just want to meet some people that I can talk about being sober with who have the same sorts of job.

To reiterate: "My only point was that I would like to meet people like me who can discuss, for example, getting tenure, or negotiating professional conferences as a sober person. I don't think there is anything wrong with that."

<Banging head against table....>

Sapling

When they do annoncements before the meeting...Why not introduce yourself...And ask if there are any members in the same profession as you that would like to meet for coffee..If so...To meet with you after the meeting.

CactusJill

That is a good idea, Sapling.

Sapling

It can't hurt...Pray on it before you do it...There's probably some lonely professor sitting there thinking the same thing.

aeo1313

The man who led the meeting I went to yesterday was a well known OBGYN in our city. We have prominent judges and lawyers as well.

aeo1313

Are you friends with anyone in the meetings? Maybe you can ask around- or if you talk during the meeting say something how you are nervous about work conferences sober etc and maybe people in the same situation will come up to you afterwards.

ericz

I an a newbie. I am educated, and I am an alcoholic. Today is day six for me, and I went to my first meeting in many years this week. The group looked like any dive bar I've ever been to. A mix of the downtrodden, middle of the road, and yuppies slumming it...but it didnt matter.

I finally realize how much we all have in common, and that is enough for me. It matters not where I am in life, because with alcohol I am simply a dice roll from the bottom of the barrel at any moment.

I believe that those who have lost the most, or never had anything are the most courageous: they have seemingly less reason to stop drinking than others. For me, I find strength in those less fortunate who still strive for sanity.

ericz

Sapling

That's a great post...We all have one common problem...And one common goal.

OklaBH

I get where you are coming from. I like my noon meeting. Everyone there is on lunch break. Suits, ties, dresses, scrubs! Its so nice to see people who are working 50+ hours a week and dealing with alcoholism. I get there after they read "how it works" and have to leave a bit early. But thats ok...a girls gotta have a job!

DAB

My hg has the whole variety, a lawyer, social worker, musician, business owner, investment banker, manufacturing technician, waitress, and beautician.
Some of these people have gone on to have better careers only after becoming sober.
Remember, we all help each other stay sober. In addition you could also be a mentor to help your fellow members better themselves career wise.

Someguy23

I'm a few months away from getting a PhD in pure math, does that qualify me as a nerd? I worry more about post-docs right now, but give me a few years and I'll be worrying about tenure.

I actually think people from academic backgrounds might be more prone to substance abuse. Thinking about the friends I've made in that element, those who didn't really, really like one psychoactive or another were a minority...

That being said, last time I was in my home country, one of my favorite drinking companions was an unemployed truck driver (unemployed because he destroyed his truck while drunk), and we killed plenty of bottles of cheap wine and vodka (wine was his, vodka was mine) together. Our life experiences were about as different as you can get but our drinking experiences were strikingly similar.

tomsteve

there are AA meetings for professinal.

Alcoholics Anonymous : Information For Professionals

Alcoholics Anonymous : If You Are a Professional, A.A. Wants to Work With You

IDAA (International Doctors in Alcoholics Anonymous) - Home

you can also contact your local district office and ask

TEXAS AA MEETINGS Central Offices Intergroups of TEXAS AA

CarolD

One of my favorite AA memories from my first HG in D.C.
we met at 7.am.....

I arrived early and there was an internationally well known guy
who worked at the White House ...intently listening ..taking notes.. to a homeless guy in a blue evening gown..a fake jewel pasted on his forhead

The subject.."How to do a Step 4 inventory".....

Threshold

In NA I noticed that the professionals were much less likely to talk about their jobs or experience using than the rest of us. I think that many of them felt a sense of disconnect because they didn't have the street drug experience (or at least most didn't). So they identified with addiction etc, but there were some experiential issues that were not shared.

I also think that many professionals for a whole heap of reasons, tend to use therapy etc to get clean, because of any number of reasons they feel uncomfortable going to a meeting.

my ex husband is a professor/PhD, so I know a great many in academia..and the quiet drunken professor is a quirky stereotype that is unfortunately common and sort of romanticized.

We did have some vocal professionals in my HG and I really liked the mix and the perspective of people from all different walks of life and economic levels, education levels. It felt really good and synergistic that we all came together and related and helped one another grow.

I have heard that some cities have AA groups, or at least recovery groups specifically for professionals, but I am not sure how to find them. Maybe an addiction recovery clinic or therapist could steer you towards one.