Zee

My dad is an A. I'm going to stick a card in his letterbox. Thats all.

I feel a bit bad about this but...
We have never got on, and I resent the fact that he has drunk as long as I can remember. He drinks AT LEAST a bottle of wine a day now (it was alot more in the past). I also resent him for being alive when my mum who never drank, died of cancer.

I spent so many years in my teens crying myself to sleep over him, thinking he was going to die. I am desensitised of it now. I just realise he is a selfish man.

Also, his alki breath makes me queezy Sorry, had to get it off my chest!

OklaBH

Bless your heart. My mother died of cancer as well. I love my dad so much. I have let him down OVER and OVER....teenage pregnancy, divorce etc.... Tomorrow will be tough but we can do it!

UpperbucksAAguy

Sorry you had to grow up in a home like that Zee- hope you found healing for yourself. Living with an alcoholic can cause a ton of damage to their loved ones

CarolD

Hope you soon find peace regardless of past experiences.

Zee

Thanks guys, my dad left my mum when I was 13, he left her for selfish reasons (affair and probably other stuff, who knows). I never lived with him after that.

He let us down also (myself and sister, in out early 20's) by making us take a remortgage on his house, put it in our names, so he could have a cash injection, doing this and knowing he would go bancrupt... leaving us with a rubbish house with about £20,000 negative equity (early 1990's). We were naive enough to believe this was ok. That was how he helped us get on the 'property ladder'... (we also had to 'formally evict him' so he could claim benefits... (?))

I feel really guilty for posting this really, but unless he joins SR (which is highly unlikely) and recognises my dogs, I suppose he will never know.

Zee

I have found peace... as I said, I'm desensitised now, its just because its fathers day... just thinking stuff out loud really

2granddaughters

My son was 15 yrs old when I sobered up. If I walked into a room, he and his mother walked out.

Today, my wife (his mother) and I were invited for a Father's day party to my son's, daughter-in-law and 2 grandchildren's house. He is almost 39 and we get along very well.

We are a family.

Things can change if we get/stay sober and change.

All the best.

Bob R

zjw

my step father beat the hell out of me growing up. 10 long years he was married to my mom. from ages 5 to 15 or so i got beat for wtvr i did wrong. Punched in the face drug through the house by the hair. you name it. Stole from me drank like a fish too but i never thought he drank a lot then it was "normal". I was verbally and phsysically abusive. the bottled up anger i have for that scumbag is more hten likely what drove me to drink. I told my one buddy a few child hood stories. He asked me why i didnt sleep with a knife under my pillow? That just made me more angry that i did not think of that at the time. Hells too nice of a place for him.
Luckily these days I live next door to my biological father we get along fine and he's not the terrible person my stepfather and mother would have led me to believe he was. Yeah i got beat for that too come home from visiting my real dad i'd be cryen cause i missed em yep beat for cryen i shouldnt be cryen over something like that.

I hope i work these issues out myself sick of carrying the anger around.

Zee

Thanks for sharing that. Anger and resentment ain't good for us, its really hard to 'just let it go', but saying that, I'm usualy ok about him, we just say... well, thats him, he'll never change, blah blah

But things that happen in our childhood can really affect our future decisions.

Not sure how he would be if there was violence though... he would probably be sober now, but in prison!

Oh well, tomorrow (fathers day) will be another on my list of things that I have experienced in my 9.5 months sober! (Done christmas, new year, birthday, jubilee, mothers day, summer bbq's) actually... if I don't get to sleep soon, I'll miss the whole day sleeping! Darn those pesky afternoon naps! Its 4am now!

mercurial me

Even us alcoholics who have good hearts and try to put other people first, still ensure we put the bottle first. My g/f of over x10 yrs has always said I'd always be the perfect guy except for my one fatal flaw