Staying in the now
 

A big part of being emotionally sober is the ability to stay in the moment. I have a hard time not feeling guilt about the past and fear of what is to come in the future. How do you stay present and take it one day at a time?

I pray A LOT. I also read and read and read SR.

I do find prayer keeps me in emotional balance.

And...by learning how to live within the AA Steps.
I found peace in my life.

Hope you will continue to stay sober ..it's such an awesome way to live...:yup:

U

Past and future only live in our minds. Where else can we really find them? They are just thoughts. Think about it. Thoughts can't hurt us. The only thing we have is this present moment and there is no thing wrong with it. Is there?

Realizing this has taken a huge load off my shoulders.

Take care

Staying present, for me anyways, requires a contemplative, honest attitude of awareness towards myself, my enviroment, and whatever is in action within my immediate enviromental awareness.

Additionally, allowing my mind and feelings to wander around into my past, and into my future, all the while resisting creating any enduring judgements against myself. Just being honestly informed, comtemplative, and reflective, of my experiences, past, future, and present, is enough on my plate. I don't need to dramatize myself to get my own attention :)

To really get into my past or future would require a deeper concentration, at the expense of me being fully present. These times are best done in an organised and controlled way, when I can afford to be less than fully present, like when I'm alone.

There are many ways to achieve being present even when dragged down by past or future challenges. As well, doing some work on past guilts will also help you move forward and be able to dump alot of any baggage you may be carrying around.

Good luck!

T

Well, my thoughts can, and have, and do (sometimes) hurt me. Thoughts can also heal too, and be joyful, which is just as real as when my thoughts can be hurtful.

FWIW, speaking for myself, I have this present moment, and my past and my future. I have all three. :)

I appreciate your opinion, but my experiences differ.

i took a look at everything in my past and how it effected me. no more guilt. i can make plans for tomorrow, but i am powerless over the outcome.

i am able to live in today by practicing living in today.

That is exactly what I have been working on! Staying in the now. I also started reading and working through Byron Katies "Loving What Is". It is hard, a bit uncomfortable, but helps me with my thoughts (which spiral oddly). Another technique I use now is writing out lots of affirmations (always in the present tense). Also, right when my mind starts to go haywire I try to think of something I love, something I am grateful for. When you are thinking of something for which you are thankful it is impossible to now be in the present moment. Best wishes to you in your journey :)

Reading about co-dependency helps me with this, jsch -- because so much of it is about wanting to control stuff you have no control over. Like others' feelings or actions. Same goes for the past. When I try to control that stuff, I make it worse for me.

Stay busy. When you are focusing on doing something physically, it helps. Engaging in conversations where you really focus on what the other person is saying is good too.

Practice.

My first sponsor told me if I came to the meetings long enough that I would come to the point where I could control my emotions instead of them controlling me.
I found the same goes for my thoughts.

All the best.

Bob R