please, someone talk to me. take my mind off the pain.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
I am here and I read every word you have written, and I will keep reading. I want to wrap you up in all of the compassion and love and understanding to you that I can. I am so glad you posted here so that we could support you. I am really sorry about what you are going through and your diagnosis. (((Nostalgic))) Please stay in touch and keep talking - I will be checking throughout the day for your posts.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 318
I know it might be annoying as an agnostic or athiest to hear people speaking of God or a higher power all the time...but your higher power doesn't have to be called "God" or anything. Your higher power can be nature, the universe, anything. It can be a rock on the ground! It can be anything you want it to be. But we human beings are set up to need a higher power, psychologically, just to be able to get things off our own shoulders from time to time. It's nice to be able to say, "for today, I will not worry about the future, I will hand those worries over to my higher power (whatever that higher power might be.)"
In Guatemala they have these worry dolls, you can write down your worries on a slip of paper and then put that paper into a purse those dolls have. Handing over the problems.
You only have to live through this moment, this day. Are you okay this day? Can you hang in there, this one day?
If so, you have it made. Because tomorrow will take care of itself.
In Guatemala they have these worry dolls, you can write down your worries on a slip of paper and then put that paper into a purse those dolls have. Handing over the problems.
You only have to live through this moment, this day. Are you okay this day? Can you hang in there, this one day?
If so, you have it made. Because tomorrow will take care of itself.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmmm..
Modern medicine continues to make strides for all sorts of conditions
My brain cancer was recently Zapped with radiation and my 2 lung
cancers are responding well to chemo treatments.
Please see what is availble to you regarding your health issues.
I know zero about this...I'm an American.
At 52 I changed careers and that means I went to college
Had I still been a drinker...that would not have happpened.
Since I quit...I too have lost many to alcoholic related causes
note the date...5 more died since then
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-friends.html
All that to say....regardless ..recovery really is the best thing I ever did.
Please do continue with yours..
.
Modern medicine continues to make strides for all sorts of conditions
My brain cancer was recently Zapped with radiation and my 2 lung
cancers are responding well to chemo treatments.
Please see what is availble to you regarding your health issues.
I know zero about this...I'm an American.
At 52 I changed careers and that means I went to college
Had I still been a drinker...that would not have happpened.
Since I quit...I too have lost many to alcoholic related causes
note the date...5 more died since then
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-friends.html
All that to say....regardless ..recovery really is the best thing I ever did.
Please do continue with yours..
.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 39
Thank you all so much.
ACOA: yeah, I know that my higher power can be anything, I'm not sure who it is yet, whether it's some unknown being or Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth or whoever inbetween, hopefully I find it soon.
I'm still just sat here wondering how things could have got to this stage, when I was a well-to-do kid from the leafy suburbs tipped to get a first at Oxford...now look where I am, emaciated, ill, incurable conditions inside my body and on my lips (which hurts most of all, because they look so bad).
I want to move on, I really do. I hope I find it soon! Thank you all so much for being here.
ACOA: yeah, I know that my higher power can be anything, I'm not sure who it is yet, whether it's some unknown being or Thurston Moore from Sonic Youth or whoever inbetween, hopefully I find it soon.
I'm still just sat here wondering how things could have got to this stage, when I was a well-to-do kid from the leafy suburbs tipped to get a first at Oxford...now look where I am, emaciated, ill, incurable conditions inside my body and on my lips (which hurts most of all, because they look so bad).
I want to move on, I really do. I hope I find it soon! Thank you all so much for being here.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 513
You will be able to move on, especially if you do not involve any drugs or alcohol. You have the desire and you have the motivation. You will heal and get stronger. I believe it for you.
Do you have a counselor/therapist?
Do you have a counselor/therapist?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 39
Payton: I'm getting a therapist as soon as I move back home, already booked an appointment. I had one at college for the last couple of months, but it didn't really help as there were only 5 sessions max. I'm hopeful for this upcoming therapy though, as I've got a lot of issues and skeletons in my closet to properly confront. Thank you for your advice.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 318
I agree with Payton, I see a better future for you, and healing! You are doing the steps you need to do, and things really will get better!
I had a silly idea for a higher power...why not make your kitty cat a higher power? Just hand your worries over the future to her. She won't mind, cats are really cool that way.
The ancient Egyptians used to worship cats as gods, so it's not without precedent!
I had a silly idea for a higher power...why not make your kitty cat a higher power? Just hand your worries over the future to her. She won't mind, cats are really cool that way.
The ancient Egyptians used to worship cats as gods, so it's not without precedent!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Big hugs to you.
Neosporin is an over the counter gooey antibiotic type cream that I often use on my lips, ask your doctor if it will work and if it's available where you are.
Praying to the universe might help you. Have you read the Secular Forum on the 12 steps? There are some interesting posts to read. Always good insight here.
Try getting a few phone numbers at the next meeting you get to and call them so when a crisis moment hits, you can hear a familiar voice.
Sending love and hugs,
Neosporin is an over the counter gooey antibiotic type cream that I often use on my lips, ask your doctor if it will work and if it's available where you are.
Praying to the universe might help you. Have you read the Secular Forum on the 12 steps? There are some interesting posts to read. Always good insight here.
Try getting a few phone numbers at the next meeting you get to and call them so when a crisis moment hits, you can hear a familiar voice.
Sending love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Nostalgic I'm here for you.
I have read all you have written.
The first thing that jumped out at me is that you cab grow as an individual whenever you want. You don't have to be at college to do that or at a certain point in your life.
You can also go back to college whenever you want.
You have been under an immense amount of pressure and are now.
You need time to replenish yourself, get well, both body and mind.
Can you talk to your course tutors at all? There maybe ways of delaying things, going back after a year or being rewarded for the work you have already done.
YOU CAN STILL GET THAT FIRST FROM OXFORD!
Second - have you tried to ring a HIV help line?
The Terrence Higgins Trust?
A university listening service?
Gone to a sexual health clinic to talk about your results?
HIV is not the life sentence it was anymore.
They have clever, clever drugs that can prolong life.
Your life is not over because of this.
Thirdly - your lip condition. It might not be able to be cured but can it be MANAGED so it is less painful and less visable? Would that help you? Is there anything that can be prescribed by a doctor, or a dermatologist that could ease the symptoms? Have you asked them?
Have you looked for a support group in the UK where others might fully understand or even be able to recommend a product?
I also think that this flare up maybe due to so much stress and ill health in general - being run down?
Often people can suffer from cuts around their mouths that come from being deficient in vitamins.
Can you stock up on fresh fruit juice, fresh vegetables and fruit and maybe a vitamin supplement?
Drink plenty of water too, that will help your health.
Please keep coming back here and talking to us.
Don't be alone
XX
I have read all you have written.
The first thing that jumped out at me is that you cab grow as an individual whenever you want. You don't have to be at college to do that or at a certain point in your life.
You can also go back to college whenever you want.
You have been under an immense amount of pressure and are now.
You need time to replenish yourself, get well, both body and mind.
Can you talk to your course tutors at all? There maybe ways of delaying things, going back after a year or being rewarded for the work you have already done.
YOU CAN STILL GET THAT FIRST FROM OXFORD!
Second - have you tried to ring a HIV help line?
The Terrence Higgins Trust?
A university listening service?
Gone to a sexual health clinic to talk about your results?
HIV is not the life sentence it was anymore.
They have clever, clever drugs that can prolong life.
Your life is not over because of this.
Thirdly - your lip condition. It might not be able to be cured but can it be MANAGED so it is less painful and less visable? Would that help you? Is there anything that can be prescribed by a doctor, or a dermatologist that could ease the symptoms? Have you asked them?
Have you looked for a support group in the UK where others might fully understand or even be able to recommend a product?
I also think that this flare up maybe due to so much stress and ill health in general - being run down?
Often people can suffer from cuts around their mouths that come from being deficient in vitamins.
Can you stock up on fresh fruit juice, fresh vegetables and fruit and maybe a vitamin supplement?
Drink plenty of water too, that will help your health.
Please keep coming back here and talking to us.
Don't be alone
XX
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
Nostalgic.. Hello! I'm new here. You are not alone. We are all here to talk to you. I just want to tell you to stop blaming yourself for the past. Try to take all the negative energy thinking about the past and turn it into positive vibes for the future. You can and WILL get through this. If you are on the bottom, the only way to go is UP!
Keep your chin up. We are all here for you!!
Keep your chin up. We are all here for you!!
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi Nostalgic,
I have been in recovery for just over a year now after throwing everything away. My drinking and drugging cost me my career, house, car, gf, and I had to declare bankruptcy. I am 35 and starting life over, but I'm going to try it sober this time. Act 1 of my life didn't go as planned, so I am going to be damned sure that as I begin Act 2, I will not make the same mistakes. You have the rest of your life to redeem yourself!
I have been in recovery for just over a year now after throwing everything away. My drinking and drugging cost me my career, house, car, gf, and I had to declare bankruptcy. I am 35 and starting life over, but I'm going to try it sober this time. Act 1 of my life didn't go as planned, so I am going to be damned sure that as I begin Act 2, I will not make the same mistakes. You have the rest of your life to redeem yourself!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I had severe eczema and psoriasis for years before recovery and it all disappeared in the first year of sobriety.
The best therapy I found for removing the skeletons from the closet is the 4th and 5th Steps in AA. AA's "How It Works" states that "even those with grave emotional and mental disorders do recover if they have the capacity to be honest".
So, AA removed the compulsion to drink and treated my other defects and shortcomings.
All I had to do in the beginning is admit that there "might" be a God and I'm sure I'm not it. Regular attendance at AA meetings with an open mind after a period of time truly enhances our chances of getting sober/sane.
All the best.
Bob R in the Colonies
The best therapy I found for removing the skeletons from the closet is the 4th and 5th Steps in AA. AA's "How It Works" states that "even those with grave emotional and mental disorders do recover if they have the capacity to be honest".
So, AA removed the compulsion to drink and treated my other defects and shortcomings.
All I had to do in the beginning is admit that there "might" be a God and I'm sure I'm not it. Regular attendance at AA meetings with an open mind after a period of time truly enhances our chances of getting sober/sane.
All the best.
Bob R in the Colonies
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 83
Oh honey, I am so, so very sorry. I don't have any magical words of advice, as I am a bit of a mess myself, but I would like to share a few thoughts with you that might help you feel a bit better.
Someone once told me that people are like a mosaic. Some individual pieces of us might be broken and dirty and not much to look at, but once we put all the pieces together we become something beautiful, unique and special, in spite of, and often because of, the broken pieces. I believe the same is the truth for you. This thought has brought me comfort many times on my darkest days. Just remember you might not feel your best right now but you are also beautiful, unique and special just exactly as you are.
And when things are REALLY, REALLY bad, I just tell myself, "what the heck, everyday above ground is a good day" and just keep on truckin. Everyday is an opportunity for things to change and get better and 99% of our happiness depends on our mindset in any given situation.
I do hope you find peace and comfort Nostalgic. Sending a big virtual hug and happy thoughts your way.
WK
Someone once told me that people are like a mosaic. Some individual pieces of us might be broken and dirty and not much to look at, but once we put all the pieces together we become something beautiful, unique and special, in spite of, and often because of, the broken pieces. I believe the same is the truth for you. This thought has brought me comfort many times on my darkest days. Just remember you might not feel your best right now but you are also beautiful, unique and special just exactly as you are.
And when things are REALLY, REALLY bad, I just tell myself, "what the heck, everyday above ground is a good day" and just keep on truckin. Everyday is an opportunity for things to change and get better and 99% of our happiness depends on our mindset in any given situation.
I do hope you find peace and comfort Nostalgic. Sending a big virtual hug and happy thoughts your way.
WK
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