Thepatman

Hi all, I've been reading all the posts and it's really helping me.

I'm alchoolic and have stopped since June 4. I know that's not alot but I'm doing ok. I really don't have the urge do drink cause I don't feel like it anymore. I did almost 20 years of it so it's time to do domething else with my life.
I almost lost everything, and I want to be an example for my 5 year old son. I love him and don't want to be an half drunk all the time dad anymore.

Only issue is the empty feeling I have inside, I don't want to hang out with drinking buddies so I'm alone at home. Have my son every 2 weeks, when I'm with him it's alot better, we do things and it changes my mind.

How long before I feel "normal". I hope my 20 years of drinking won't take 20 years to heal! Also strange how the feeling of emptyness I have is exactly the same that drove me to start drinking after my grandpa passed away. My dad died when I was 5 at 42 of cancer, my grandpa was an alchoolic and my mom, and most of my familly. LOL!

This a long post sorry about this. Take care all

FredG

I use this quote a lot - "If you haven't lost everything you value in life ... keep drinking ... you will". Sounds like you want really want to stop before this is completely true.

You need to replace your drinking buddies with sober ones. I suggest AA, but there are other places as well. I suggest AA because I know it works.

Feeling normal is relative. Different times for different people, but you've started the process, relax follow the advice of those that have already grabbed sobriety and have walked the path.

JustBreath

Welcome to SR Thepatman

I am glad that you have made the decision to get healthy and take back your life.
It means you are giving your own son the chance to have a father where you had to grow up without one.

Have you been to any meetings? They will certainly help with the boredom and you will most likely make some great new friends who can help support you.

Have a wonderful day and I am glad you are here

Thepatman

I'm thinking of going to AA. My mom was in it, worked for a while then she started again.
She dies in 2007 from troat cancer related to Alchool and cigarettes. When she learned that she would die she stopped both cold turkey. I'm proud of that.

I know it's not the AA fault. U just have bad memories of it when I was younger, 7-8-9 year old. My mom would bring me there with her. I hated it and it left a weird memory associattion with my mom etc. In time I might go, but for now I just pray alot and it's providing some comfort. A side of me want's to force myself to be alone to learn how to be happy with myself.

Long tought road ahead, but I'm on 4x4 and the lowest gear, the slowest, but the strongest. One step at a time, and one day at a time. My mom used to say that to me...

Sapling

That side of me kept me drinking....Forget what you know about AA...Go in there with a clear open mind....What better people to be around than recovered alcoholics that want to see you get better?

oh2exhale

Welcome Thepatman!
Those uncomfortable feelings are what drove me to drink. Stopping drinking was only the beginning of recovery. I have been learning how to cope with all those feelings that come up. Its tough sometimes! It is strange to feel the feelings as they bubble to the surface and acknoledge, "huh, that is exactly the point that I would run for the bottle" and yet NOT reach for the "solution" that never solved anything. I have heard the saying, "there isnt anything that alcohol wont make worse" and for me that is sooo true, I certainly have proof! Go check out the AA meetings in your area, its only akward the first time you walk through the door! And to aleviate boredom go to different meetings in different towns - it will get your mind off of your own issues for a bit! Keep keeping sober!!

Thepatman

You are right, wish I had someone to go with me the first time. Man up is what I have to do.

2granddaughters

A.A. worked for me Thepatman.

All the best.

Bob R (born in Montreal)

stillsleeping

Hey Patman, ace to meet you

First of all, awesome avatar - that rocks! If you're feeling like you need to man up, that's a good symbol to lead the way

Second, hun, go easy on yourself. You've been clean for, what, a week? It's going to take a little longer than that to start to feel okay. Not 20 years (!) but a little while. I'd say most of us felt pretty despairing and emotional for the first few weeks (jeez, like a roller-coaster...) but you do level out. At the moment your body and brain are both reeling from a massive chemical change, not to mention all the social and emotional baggage.

Praying sounds nice - if you want to learn how to be with yourself, why don't you look into meditation and yoga too? And Tai Chi is amazing. Check out posts by a guy called Coming_Clean - he's into a lot of gentle, spiritual stuff. (not me. I'm into running around and shouting. but somehow me and Clean are friends. weird )

But mostly, take your time. Be kind to yourself. And post here, a lot - this is a good place.

Still
xx

Pock89

Be careful of isolation. When I stopped drinking, I wouldn't hang around with the people that I used to drink with. I wasn't involved with AA. So I was definitely isolating.
A good AA slogan that I really love is, Isolation is the dark room where we develop our 'negatives'.

AA would be a great place to go to reach out for help, support, and friendship.

CarolD

Welcome...

Blessings to you and your son as you continue to move forward..

SoberDan

thepatman great work on staying sober for the last 10 days. alcohol also took over my life for 20yrs as well, and I also quit because I had 2 young boys that needed a father and not a drunk dad. I couldn't even put my drink down to teach them how to play cricket, I would spill rum on there bedtime story books because I just couldn't put it down. I tried every way of cutting down and quiting altogether but all attempts failed. I finally found a way to fill that empty hole, amazingly because I didn't think it would work for me. But now I am eight months sober and extremely happy. AA worked in the way that it filled that hole for me, it filled it with inner peace. It is great to have people around you going through the same as you. Do yourself a favor and go check out your local AA meetings. this is just the beginning of a great life for you.

Gottalife

In my area if someone calls the AA number, we will send someone to talk to them and take them to their first meeting. Usually, if the person wants what we have, we will look after them until they find their feet in AA and make a few contacts of their own. It's called 12 stepping and is where we carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. We know there are folks like me, so crippled with fear that I would never have got to a meeting on my own. No where in our basic text does it say that the alcoholic must come to the message. Hopefully, your local AA is of like mind. Give them a call and ask for someone to come and see you. All the best

sugarbear1

AA:

211 Bronson Av
Ottawa, ON
(613) 237-6000

627 Main E
Ottawa, ON
(905) 522-8399

Alcoholics Anonymous :

Call and see if you can meet someone for coffee before a meeting. You aren't alone anymore!

Welcome to SR!

Glad you are here!