relapse
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
You don't like it today, but most alcoholics have very short memories. What will you do a week/month from now when your relapse is a distant memory? I only ask because I'm a former retread myself and could always find a reason to take "one last drink." I didn't like it either, but I did it anyway. What needs to change this time?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
Yeah desert song. What did you do. I was on day fifteen deserto, wish I never did it now but I did. Only had about twelve beers. I drove too, so still needing to stop BC im a madman when I drink. Simple as that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Here, Now
Posts: 4,268
I don't like it either and it does not work for me and had never in retrospect but I have a weak memory and a strong dis-ease. I remembered this quote from Betrant Russell.
Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness
Bertrand Russell
My best with your recovery
Drunkenness is temporary suicide: the happiness that it brings is merely negative, a momentary cessation of unhappiness
Bertrand Russell
My best with your recovery
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
I surrendered, guys. Fully surrendered and decided to stop fighting. Fighting was taking SO much out of me. I wanted my booze .... REALLY bad. But my booze was making my life a living hell. It took a series of horrible events to bring me to my knees and ask God (or whatever your higher power might be) to deliver me from the insanity. I could either choose a sober, happier life or I could continue the downward spiral into God-knows-what. And the "what" scared the living cr*p out of me.
My relapses were always preceded by the idea that "Well, I've got some sober time under my belt, so I'm probably not that bad. A drink or two will feel good right now, and then I can get back on the horse." Yeah. Right. In the three years that I tried/failed to get sober, the one common denominator was my lack of a program/support. And even when I got into AA, I still slacked. I figured going to meetings was enough ... NO. Real recovery requires real work. I didn't want it bad enough for a long time. I was too lazy to do the work - it was easier to drink.
So what do I do? I go to meetings every day. I meet with my sponsor once a week (and she's a tough a**, lemme tell ya!) and am faithful to do the homework she gives me. I'm working the steps. I do Steps 1, 2 and 3 EVERY day. And every day, I make a gratitude list of 3 things, as well as a "success" list of 3 things. I pray. I get up every morning grateful for a new day and ask God (or whatever your higher power is) to guide my day and remove MY will from the picture. I help other alcoholics. I do things that are good for my mind and body, like exercise, read, rest when needed, listen to music, do crafts, take classes, volunteer my time. I make efforts to get out of "self" and do things that can benefit others.
Is it easy? NO. I live with an active alcoholic so the temptation to join him is ever-present.
I guess the one thing that has made the total difference is that I have stopped fighting. I mean, I had all the wonderful influences in my life, good people, meetings, wisdom from other alkies here on SR ... all of that was useless until I just gave up the fight, decided I was powerless over alcohol, and put my efforts into something better. It doesn't happen by osmosis or wishful thinking or remorse from a bad hangover ... it takes action. It takes wanting to NOT drink more than you want TO drink. I guess each of us gets there in our own time, in our own way. The fact that all of us are HERE, on SR, shows that we ALL want to change. We all want a better life. That's pretty cool.
Keep reaching out. Learn from other alkies. Have an open mind and an open heart. Find what matters to you in this world and ask yourself if you can still have it if you're drinking. Know that you have worth ... SO much worth. You are worth saving. You have potential. You are not a worthless, weak, disgusting person ... you just have an addiction. That doesn't make you any less special. If anything, you can use it to make you stronger. Believe that. I do.
My relapses were always preceded by the idea that "Well, I've got some sober time under my belt, so I'm probably not that bad. A drink or two will feel good right now, and then I can get back on the horse." Yeah. Right. In the three years that I tried/failed to get sober, the one common denominator was my lack of a program/support. And even when I got into AA, I still slacked. I figured going to meetings was enough ... NO. Real recovery requires real work. I didn't want it bad enough for a long time. I was too lazy to do the work - it was easier to drink.
So what do I do? I go to meetings every day. I meet with my sponsor once a week (and she's a tough a**, lemme tell ya!) and am faithful to do the homework she gives me. I'm working the steps. I do Steps 1, 2 and 3 EVERY day. And every day, I make a gratitude list of 3 things, as well as a "success" list of 3 things. I pray. I get up every morning grateful for a new day and ask God (or whatever your higher power is) to guide my day and remove MY will from the picture. I help other alcoholics. I do things that are good for my mind and body, like exercise, read, rest when needed, listen to music, do crafts, take classes, volunteer my time. I make efforts to get out of "self" and do things that can benefit others.
Is it easy? NO. I live with an active alcoholic so the temptation to join him is ever-present.
I guess the one thing that has made the total difference is that I have stopped fighting. I mean, I had all the wonderful influences in my life, good people, meetings, wisdom from other alkies here on SR ... all of that was useless until I just gave up the fight, decided I was powerless over alcohol, and put my efforts into something better. It doesn't happen by osmosis or wishful thinking or remorse from a bad hangover ... it takes action. It takes wanting to NOT drink more than you want TO drink. I guess each of us gets there in our own time, in our own way. The fact that all of us are HERE, on SR, shows that we ALL want to change. We all want a better life. That's pretty cool.
Keep reaching out. Learn from other alkies. Have an open mind and an open heart. Find what matters to you in this world and ask yourself if you can still have it if you're drinking. Know that you have worth ... SO much worth. You are worth saving. You have potential. You are not a worthless, weak, disgusting person ... you just have an addiction. That doesn't make you any less special. If anything, you can use it to make you stronger. Believe that. I do.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Originally Posted by desertsong 
I surrendered, guys. Fully surrendered and decided to stop fighting. Fighting was taking SO much out of me. I wanted my booze .... REALLY bad. But my booze was making my life a living hell. It took a series of horrible events to bring me to my knees and ask God (or whatever your higher power might be) to deliver me from the insanity. I could either choose a sober, happier life or I could continue the downward spiral into God-knows-what. And the "what" scared the living cr*p out of me.
My relapses were always preceded by the idea that "Well, I've got some sober time under my belt, so I'm probably not that bad. A drink or two will feel good right now, and then I can get back on the horse." Yeah. Right. In the three years that I tried/failed to get sober, the one common denominator was my lack of a program/support. And even when I got into AA, I still slacked. I figured going to meetings was enough ... NO. Real recovery requires real work. I didn't want it bad enough for a long time. I was too lazy to do the work - it was easier to drink.
So what do I do? I go to meetings every day. I meet with my sponsor once a week (and she's a tough a**, lemme tell ya!) and am faithful to do the homework she gives me. I'm working the steps. I do Steps 1, 2 and 3 EVERY day. And every day, I make a gratitude list of 3 things, as well as a "success" list of 3 things. I pray. I get up every morning grateful for a new day and ask God (or whatever your higher power is) to guide my day and remove MY will from the picture. I help other alcoholics. I do things that are good for my mind and body, like exercise, read, rest when needed, listen to music, do crafts, take classes, volunteer my time. I make efforts to get out of "self" and do things that can benefit others.
Is it easy? NO. I live with an active alcoholic so the temptation to join him is ever-present.
I guess the one thing that has made the total difference is that I have stopped fighting. I mean, I had all the wonderful influences in my life, good people, meetings, wisdom from other alkies here on SR ... all of that was useless until I just gave up the fight, decided I was powerless over alcohol, and put my efforts into something better. It doesn't happen by osmosis or wishful thinking or remorse from a bad hangover ... it takes action. It takes wanting to NOT drink more than you want TO drink. I guess each of us gets there in our own time, in our own way. The fact that all of us are HERE, on SR, shows that we ALL want to change. We all want a better life. That's pretty cool.
Keep reaching out. Learn from other alkies. Have an open mind and an open heart. Find what matters to you in this world and ask yourself if you can still have it if you're drinking. Know that you have worth ... SO much worth. You are worth saving. You have potential. You are not a worthless, weak, disgusting person ... you just have an addiction. That doesn't make you any less special. If anything, you can use it to make you stronger. Believe that. I do.
My relapses were always preceded by the idea that "Well, I've got some sober time under my belt, so I'm probably not that bad. A drink or two will feel good right now, and then I can get back on the horse." Yeah. Right. In the three years that I tried/failed to get sober, the one common denominator was my lack of a program/support. And even when I got into AA, I still slacked. I figured going to meetings was enough ... NO. Real recovery requires real work. I didn't want it bad enough for a long time. I was too lazy to do the work - it was easier to drink.
So what do I do? I go to meetings every day. I meet with my sponsor once a week (and she's a tough a**, lemme tell ya!) and am faithful to do the homework she gives me. I'm working the steps. I do Steps 1, 2 and 3 EVERY day. And every day, I make a gratitude list of 3 things, as well as a "success" list of 3 things. I pray. I get up every morning grateful for a new day and ask God (or whatever your higher power is) to guide my day and remove MY will from the picture. I help other alcoholics. I do things that are good for my mind and body, like exercise, read, rest when needed, listen to music, do crafts, take classes, volunteer my time. I make efforts to get out of "self" and do things that can benefit others.
Is it easy? NO. I live with an active alcoholic so the temptation to join him is ever-present.
I guess the one thing that has made the total difference is that I have stopped fighting. I mean, I had all the wonderful influences in my life, good people, meetings, wisdom from other alkies here on SR ... all of that was useless until I just gave up the fight, decided I was powerless over alcohol, and put my efforts into something better. It doesn't happen by osmosis or wishful thinking or remorse from a bad hangover ... it takes action. It takes wanting to NOT drink more than you want TO drink. I guess each of us gets there in our own time, in our own way. The fact that all of us are HERE, on SR, shows that we ALL want to change. We all want a better life. That's pretty cool.
Keep reaching out. Learn from other alkies. Have an open mind and an open heart. Find what matters to you in this world and ask yourself if you can still have it if you're drinking. Know that you have worth ... SO much worth. You are worth saving. You have potential. You are not a worthless, weak, disgusting person ... you just have an addiction. That doesn't make you any less special. If anything, you can use it to make you stronger. Believe that. I do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by miko67
Relapse! I wanted a drink so I took it. Back on track now day 2. I'm getting this feeling I won't drink again because I don't like it.
I found that when I went to meetings regularly I didn't drink again. All the best.
Bob R
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: far away
Posts: 392
Dunno wat im gonna do. I think I will drink one more time at another concert and then get back to sobriety. I'm sorry for saying this as this isva sober site but I want to go to this concert and I want to drink. I will be out of town with no car and have hotel to stay at. I want to go to this concert more than stay home and stay sober. Till then I will stay sober and after this I will stop again and if I find it difficult I think aa. Though I fel as though I have picked up necesseray tools being here and have been to aa before. I have stopped I have been to partys and it doesn't bother me not drinking. I actually still enjoy going out. I think it gets better the longer the sobriety. I guess I am trying my own way. I think a sober life is the best thing you can give yourself. Thanks to people here I gain strength from you.
God bless.
God bless.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
I'm getting this feeling I won't drink again because I don't like it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
I'm glad you didn't kill anyone while you were driving drunk. You've been lucky so far.
If you can't control how much you take when you drink, then you should probably not drink. Life is so much better for me as a sober person. And the chance that I'll smash you with my car are much lower too.
Take care Miko
If you can't control how much you take when you drink, then you should probably not drink. Life is so much better for me as a sober person. And the chance that I'll smash you with my car are much lower too.
Take care Miko
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by miko67
Dunno wat im gonna do. I think I will drink one more time at another concert and then get back to sobriety.
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
[QUOTE=miko67;3437599]"Dunno wat im gonna do. I think I will drink one more time at another concert and then get back to sobriety. I'm sorry for saying this as this isva sober site but I want to go to this concert and I want to drink."
I have gotten 'wasted' for every concert I've been to for the last 15 years. Also, I cannot really remember a single concert for the last 15 years! I always wake up the next day with a vague recollection of the concert as I proceed to tell people how 'awesome' it was. I paid $250 for a ticket to see U2 last year and I feel like I missed the whole show....couldn't remember a single moment.
I have gotten 'wasted' for every concert I've been to for the last 15 years. Also, I cannot really remember a single concert for the last 15 years! I always wake up the next day with a vague recollection of the concert as I proceed to tell people how 'awesome' it was. I paid $250 for a ticket to see U2 last year and I feel like I missed the whole show....couldn't remember a single moment.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by miko67
Dunno wat im gonna do. I think I will drink one more time at another concert and then get back to sobriety.
If you want to drink, there will always be reasons to. If you want to quit, make your last relapse the last relapse.
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