Mark75

I know exactly what you mean... I feel the same way, I used to feel like that a lot... I heard it referred to as being an egomaniac with an inferiority complex... yeah, that's it!! the first time I heard it.

But that's the point, Justfor1, you and I are probably years apart in age, have totally different life circumstances and style... all that... but when it comes to what it means to be alcoholic, all the isms... we share a lot in common...

Draw from the strength of the fellowship and the program of AA... get honest with the people that can help you... ask for help... tell them you need a good sponsor to take you through the steps, to get you honest with the person that matters the most... yourself!

And most of all... get some willingness, before it's too late!

Sapling

This is a program you're better off checking your ego at the door. It makes it real clear what your chances are at making it in AA...If you can't grasp this...I don't know where you start.


Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

bmwcycle

I agree, and that is why I am thankful.

indakut

I don't go to AA meetings. However, accountability has kept me sober for 434 days(lolololol counting days works for me). Every time I think about going back to that lifestyle, my time sober keeps me sober. It would be like to forgetting all the times I have struggled and maintained sobriety. Being honest with myself and with others I trust is also what gives me pride in my sobriety.
God bless you and your sobriety

Sudz No More

Gonna have to agree with most here and say your future victories will always feel hollow. Sort of like Barry Bonds hitting the most Home Runs, yeah he was great and had mostly honest true athleticism but that little lie he had.

Better to just fess up. You should still feel very proud of how far you went.

OklaBH

Lie all you want....someone there WILL find out. We tell on ourselves. We may not realize it but we do. Dont forget you posted your "big secret" on the internet. Im sure at some point someone in you group is going to come across SR

Deserto

Good choice. I hope it will be before the one year mark

I'm not even in AA, but the one thing I've decided this time around is that honesty is the only thing that will keep me sober. It doesn't matter if I lie to myself or to others -- once the lie is embraced, it won't be long before I'm telling myself the biggest lie of all -- that I can handle a few drinks.

Don't take the coin. Earn it.

donenow

I'm not in the AA program, but it's like you can't be a little bit pregnant, in AA you are either sober for x days or not. Any program will work as long as you do that which is asked.

As I said, I'm not AA, but if that's what you're doing I hope you have the courage to do it with integrity. Personally I think you should be commended on achieving what you have, regardless of time

Innerchild

Be honest. I relapsed one day and I admitted it in meetings because I had to be true to myself and the only person you are hurting is yourself by being dishonest. If you want to stay sober and live the program you must be honest with yourself and others. Also you could potentially help a newcomer or someone who has relapsed with admitting your mistake.

aNewEternity

such is why I don't agree with the AA practice of hitting the reset button with a slip, making you feel like you "lost". you didn't lose anything, time spent sober is time spent sober. make it a learning experience, figure out what happened that made you drink or use and add it to your tool box.

12skiptomylue

I think you have it backwards. I don't think that respect comes simply by sobriety time. I think respect comes in being honest and real, no matter where you are at.

I'm still trying to achieve my first three months of sobriety. And honestly, I am so humbled by some of the longer term-ers sharing when they struggle. It also validates my experience that this sh*t is HARD!! You made it 9 months! Why don't you celebrate that?? Why don't you celebrate that you are choosing to live your life different today, in that you are being willing to be searching, fearless and thourough in your moral inventory, and being willing to ask God to remove character defects.

awuh1

It's not a "reset button". It's a reminder of the last drink and the lessons we should have learned from it. No one can strip me of one day of my past, be it sober or not, but if I don't remember my last drink I probably have not had it.

aNewEternity

a friend of mine gave in all his chips (he had about 14 months) after his relapse. not sure if this is standard practice, but appeared to me to be a defeatist mindset.

pinkdog

Are you glad you told the truth here? That's your answer. Peace.

awuh1

I recycle mine also though the circumstances are different. The only two that are important to me are the first and last received (and one notable exception in my case for 4 months which was quite a hurdle). No one is required to turn them in.

SomethingBetter

I know how old I am, how long ive been maried and what year my truck was buit etc... and my sober date, I dont count everyday, hardly ever anymore but I can never forget my true date that I started living alcohol and drug free.

Wishing you the best...

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

I always admire the folks who have been coming to meetings for a while and get up to get their 24 hours chips when they've slipped. I hope that I would be able to be that brave and honest if that ever happens to me.

stugotz

To think that a "slip" doesnt matter in very dangerous. And to act like it didnt happen is worse. I needed to see those with time sober get up and start over again. My Sobriety is 24/7-365. Oh yeah, weekends and holidays included. Just sayin...

NYCDoglvr

Nowhere does it say in AA literature that someone should hit the reset button if they slip. AA says "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." Period.
Somewhere along the line the people in groups adopted this idea and it seems universal now. However I don't believe you can stay sober when lying about drinking.

TheEnd

This lie must be seriously eating at you, because you have created 5 threads talking about this one "small slip" as you say. You already know it's wrong and no matter how many times you post about or mention it, it will still be wrong. You're not going to convince anybody to support you, not anybody who is really working the program of AA that is. I don't think you really want sobriety, I think you want the perception of being sober.

To me being sober means everything. If I pick up, I will die. It doesn't matter if anyone knows how much time I have, it matters that I know. When you start working this program for yourself and stop putting on a show, then you will achieve sobriety. Until then I am afraid, you are destined to have many "small slips". Hopefully the next one won't kill, but you never know.