zjw

One thing thats been on my mind a lot latly is problems and worrying about them. I'm a worry wort BIG TIME and I have lots of problems. Lots of problems i can not do anything about. For example debt the money is not going to just magically show up i'm not going to all the sudden make extra etc.. There isnt much i can do but keep on grinning and bearing it and doing my best to not let it wear me down.

Now focusing on the problems I can do soemthing about allows me to still feel that sense of accomplishment like I"m achieving something Like i'm headed somewhere. Even if the problems are stupid for example hobbies or planting a garden. Not very big but gives me a sense of self worth in my world it keeps me content and happy.

For drinking is another problem I said this is a problem I can have control and power over it is something i can solve. Same with smoking. these are things I can solve I may not be able to solve all my problems but there are some that I can take care of. And when i do i'll feel better. And who knows maybe along the way the other problems will start to work themselves out or i'll find solutions to them as well.

Sitting around and doing nothing more then pouring more down my gullet didnt get me anywhere.

sugarbear1

For me, the anxiety I had was also because I thought about those things I couldn't do anything about. Or thinking of yesterday or tomorrow and not living in the moment or the now. I created "what if" problems in my head. If I stay in the now, things are calmer.

For debt, call those you owe, let them know your circumstances. Maybe you can work something out. The worry comes from ignoring them completely.

First, we stay stopped from drinking.

z, are you in AA or working a program of recovery? I applaud you on 1 year of sobriety!

Hugs,

zjw

No I thought about going but then didnt bother. LIving in a small town type area i was weary about who'd i'd meet and then well broadcast my problem too. I'm still thinking it over. I create the what if's as well to a rediculous degree. I happen to be a programmer for a living so that doesnt help the whole IF situation much. I'll sit here and run lifes scenarios over and over various diff ways in my head running what if's on them to see the possible different outcomes. My wife once said to me when we dated you cant program our relationship. Its true I have a tendancy to drive myself nuts with the what if's in order to keep everything else in check cause i'll know the outcomes all ahead of time.

sugarbear1

Have you heard about anyone in town who is in AA? The principle of anonymity is strong in AA.

AA was started by businessmen who didn't want anyone to know where they were going or why. It will be 77 years old on June 10, 2012.

Maybe it's time to try a few meetings, find a sponsor, and work those steps?

oh2exhale

zjw;
If it would help you to accept going to AA, you could find a group in a nearby larger town - just sit in on the meeting - if asked to speak just say,"Im here to listen today" and thats it, no one will ask anything else from you. You will find that you are not the only one with the issues you mention and you will find people there who are dealing with it without alcohol. Best wishes for recovery! I think you can search this site or the internet for meetings.

zjw

I think thats part of why i'm hear I'm not one for group therapy IE weight watchers say is not very appealing to me. But i'm wondering about this AA thing and reading some of your posts toying with the idea. it seems strange to me tho to show up at a meeting having been sober for a year. My confirmation sponser as a kid was in AA he passed away many years ago he was such a wonderful guy and you would have never known he was in AA. I sometimes thing what if i showed up to a meeting and found a very wonderful person there i new from town and to discover wow your in AA too? I realize it might be beneficial i pondered going at first a lot i gave it some serious thought. I really dont know how my wife woudl feel about me doing it now also she might be like are you insane? you've quit for a year and NOW you wanna go to AA?

sugarbear1

XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

take a listen to a recorded speaker meeting or two

People in AA each have their own stories. We don't judge anyone on what, when, or how they got to a meeting.

FredG

I felt the same about going the first time. Small town and the meeting was right on main street.

Then someone pointed out the fact that when drinking everyone knew. They all saw me stumbling around, puking in the gutter. Logic dictated that they'd all love the fact that if they DID see me going in, they'd no longer have to worry about me crawling behind the wheel of my vehicle and hurting someone. Someone else also pointed out the fact that maybe I wasn't the subject of a town watch and that I shouldn't think quite so highly of myself. If you drink at all publicly, like I did, do you REALLY think that they don't already know that you have a problem.

If you're a programmer, then you should be able to work out the logic tree pretty easily to see where a life of alcoholism leads. I'm a developer too.

If you're worried about someone in the program broadcasting the fact that you're attending, let me tell you, we take the anonymous part of Alcoholics Anonymous VERY seriously.

Mr. Clean

just go to a meeting already!!! You will find answers to ALL these questions and maybe even find yourself LIKING this whole AA thing!! AA is wonderful. It gives you something to look forward to even when you have a totally open schedule. You can talk your butt off....or you can just listen that day if you want. Its a great way to get things off your chest. Its also a great place to HELP OTHER PEOPLE who are struggling. That ALONE is enough to keep me sober!

tomsteve

welp, theres one thing i knew for certain when i got desperate enough: my thinking got me drunk. my thinking wasnt gonna fix me. i had a broke thinkin machine and needed some better thinkin machines to help me fix my thinkin machine, so i went to AA. i didnt care who saw me fall off a barstool or stumble my drunk arse around small or big town USA so why should i care who saw me walking into AA to get help with my broken thinker? welp, because i had a severely HUGE ego! just had to deflate it and see i aint no better than anyone else.
my thinkin machine is a lot better than it used to be, but it isnt a drinkin thinkin machine today.

zjw

yeah when i decided to quit i read stories of people who made it a week or a few months etc.. they made it sound like there life was now so wonderful. I read others that fell down again etc.. Others who chose AA etc.. I thought AA? god i'm not that bad am I? and group therapy made me cringe. and i new quiting would not be some cake walk nor would i be saying a month or 2 in how wonderful my life now was. It just didnt seem for me. I've made it so far without it that i wonder if i even need it now. The struggle to drink or not drink isnt really a big one now. what however is still a big struggle is all the things that drove me to drinking. Also my triumphs along the way have me wondering if that could be beneficial to someone else whos struggling like i did. That sort of stuff has me rethinking the AA thing. But if I do decide to do it my wfies going to question my sanity deciding to do that at this juncture. and the AA people will be like you've been sober a year why are you here? Least thats whats going through my head.

zjw

to add to this one of my issues is my on going problems. my friends and family are sick of hearing about them. I've run out of ears. I've somehow managed to quit drinking but still have issues sorting out all the underlying issues that drove me to that. If that makes any sense.