SarahBear

I'd love to have a good friendship with a man, if not a relationship. What it is that guys like hearing women talk about?
Besides my dad and bro whom I'm not close to, I only have 1 guy who I consider a very good friend. Usually, I tell him jokes or funny videos I find on the Internet and about my day. Do men like hearing what goes on in a woman's day?

Its very, very hard to get a guy interested in me and hold their interest.

Gottalife

It's exactly the same for men, especially newly sober ones. The only thing you can do is be out there, circulating, meeting people. Maybe trying to increase the pleasure of those at an event as suggested in the Big book. Outgoing selfless people seem to attract friends.

CarolD

SB....
I've read all your posts in the SA Forum and agree you have been
dealing with men who are not in your best interest.

I suggest you find a hobby group...do volinteer work...connect to a support
group...get involved in a church....then you can find things to talk about
with others...

As I shared with you before...active addicts and alcoholics do not make good
solid friends...

Don't limit yourself ..women are also good talkers and listeners..

Gottalife

Thanks for clarifying things Carol. Active and even newly sober alcoholics don't usually make ideal partners. But I have made a lot of wonderful friends outside the fellowship through community organisations like clubs and churches. As a keen sailor I belong to three clubs associated with this sport, and the common interest has been key in making friends. Maybe getting involved in a club about something you are interested in will put you in a group where you have something in common.

doggonecarl

Guys, most guys, aren't interested in being friends...unless it's "friends with benefits" if you catch my drift. And your very good friend is probably just waiting in the wings for his cue.

We are such simple lugs. I'm not sure why women even want to be friends with men. You want to get a man interested in you? Get him to talk about himself, or sports. Or cars. Or his job.

Sad, really.

I agree with Carol. You need to find a higher quality lug than the usual guys you've been meeting. Her suggestions are great.

UpperbucksAAguy

The 12 steps can give you a good relationship with yourself, which will make you more likely to make healthy choices for yourself in all areas. I am not saying that the steps will get you a good man, but the steps will make all of your problems solvable.

WritingFromLife

I was just reading about this today--don't know if it applies or helps, but here goes: (regarding SEEKING a relationship or romantic love)
______________________
Until you realize you are complete as you are, you are not ready for a relationship. This means detaching and letting go. Whether it's a person, place, or thing, let it go and know, not in your mind, but in your heart and soul, that you are okay--whole, complete, and at peace, whether you get what you are after or not. When you are one with yourself, it becomes magical. You can get whatever you want.
_________________________

The way I see this, is it's saying stop seeking, and become....you will attract what you are!

tomsteve

This is why I drink, extremely shy with men, what is it they like hearing women say?

are you still drinking?

from a recovering alcoholic male, my nickname was shyboy a long time ago and alcohol loosened me up( so i thought). when i got into recovery through AA and worked the steps, i found out i wasnt shy, i was afraid. afraid of what others thought of me. trying to say and do what woman would want to hear( or anyone for that matter) to boost my pride and make me feel better about myself. people pleaser extraordinaire!
i had to learn who i was, what made me tick, then work on my relationship with God and the one in the mirror. over time, i became less and less concerned with what others wanted to hear and more concerned on what i said. eventually, i didnt even have to be concerned with what i said. that was when i started to love myself and was comfortable in my own skin.

what do men want to hear?? well, sick ones will want to hear a woman who is easy to manipulate, control and take hostage.
spiritual, mental, and emotional healthy ones want to hear someone spiritual, mentally, and emotionally healthy.

reading through yer threads, i suggest ya start lookin at why you feel relationships with men are a higher priority than a relationship with yourself and a Higher Power.

WritingFromLife

tomsteve:
"What do men want to hear?? Well, sick ones will want to hear a woman who is easy to manipulate, control, and take hostage. Spiritual, mental, and emotionally healthy ones want to hear someone spiritually, mentally, and emotionally healthy."


VERY well said!

AlwaysGrowing

This link is a 4 part series but VERY good. It will help with understand what we all are looking for and how to be ready.

North Point Community Church :: Messages

AG

Boleo

A Woman's Facts About Men | Car Talk

tomsteve

holy crap, someone follows me!!!!:rotfxko

soberlicious

What do men like hearing women say?...I can't even wrap my head around that question.

Gender aside, I can tell you that the quality I personally find most attractive in others is confidence. One who is confident is at ease with themselves, and at ease with others. People like that are easy to be with.