Justfor1

I had 8 months sobriety & had a 1 day slip recently. I've decided to just move on & not turn into a major relapse. In the past, I always looked at it as "I screwed up so why not just keep going"?? Thankfully, I didn't use drugs (except methadone) & woke up with a minor hangover. I usually turn the slip into a 3day to week long bender with cocaine/booze. I only told a few close people in my recovery circle. I simply don't see the purpose in telling everyone. I've been "in and out" of the AA program for years. Some folks are probably tired of me. Heck I'm tired of me also. Anyways, just want to clarify that I wish I didn't drink but am grateful I got "back on the wagon" quickly. Usually the wagon runs me over.

stepping

Welcome back Just! Jump back on! Good for you for nipping the "slip" in the bud!! I wish you luck!

Deserto

Hey Justfor1, have you looked at any of the literature on Relapse Prevention?

It's been a while since I read it, but I remember their distinction between a "slip," a "lapse," and a "relapse."

The distinction made sense to me. As long as one is honest with one's self, and not allowing thoughts of a "slip" to become thoughts of moderation or occasional use -- I can see the benefit of viewing things in that light.

But it can be dangerous. I know in the fall when I was sober for three months I kept slipping -- and not remaining sober in the end.

Eight months might be a different story though. Whatever you decide in regards to whom to tell, just stay straight with yourself and then keep on going down that sober path....

I'm glad you jumped back on the wagon.

NYCDoglvr

I'm so glad you're able to keep it to one day. There's a problem with keeping secrets like this. What would happen to me is I'd start thinking that if I did it once I can do it again (and of course keep it a secret). So I try it again and maybe can't stop next time. I'd also feel guilt about not being honest but pretending to be. And it's not dealing with the fact that I'm flirting with alcohol and keeping it a secret.

Of course it's you're choice. I certainly understand why you don't want to start counting days. It's about ego ... nobody looses time, of course, but it is indeed a drag to act as if we must go back to day one. I just heard a guy tell his story. He said he'd been sober since 2001 with a few one day slips. Do you have a sponsor? If not I suggest getting one and being honest with that person. Because if we can't be honest we can't stay sober.

In the end the ONLY thing that matters is that you and I are sober TODAY.

sissy07

justfor1,

Sorry you slipped, but congratulations on not freaking out, and for keeping it at a one day slip. I think the worst thing slips can do to us is set us out on a mental tirade against outselves. I am glad you are handling it differently, and I admire and respect your honesty. Take care.

Justfor1

NYC, thats interesting the way that guy said "I've been sober since 2001 except for a few 1 day slips." I'm sure some AA'ers didn't like the way he phrased that. It helps me though. I use to beat myself up so bad for picking up that I thought I had to go on a suicide "Leaving Las Vegas" like bender. I guess I thought my bottom needed to be a "burning bush" type incident. I have had several bottoms I don't need anymore. If I would of turned into a 3-4 day bender then I would of had to go to the hospital to detox. I've done that probably over 20 times in my history. I don't have insurance so I owe quite a bit due to my "alcoholic career".

sugarbear1

In that case, I've been sober since 1986 with a few "slips" in between.

Thanks for posting this!

TheEnd

If this is no big deal to you, why are there 4 threads about this? You don't have to convince us, convince yourself.

BillyWeaver

Ehh I am kind of confused on this as well. Not sure how I feel about reacting to 1 day slips.

BillyWeaver

I guess what I am saying is...say someone does have 8 years sober...4 years sober...12 years or however long. They "fall off the wagon" for one day, then pick right up where they left off...its alot different to tell someone "Im an alcoholic and ive been sober one day" as opposed to "im an alcoholic and have been sober 8 years with 4 slips"

I think starting back to day one all the time and only going by that takes away from the life changes you have already made. While not perfect or even "recovered" drinking 4 days in 8 years is much MUCH MUCH better than drinking almost every single day for 8 years (as many alcoholics have)

Gottalife

Absolutely right. In the foreword to the second edition where it talks about the 75% recovery rates it also states that many of those in the remaining group, if they kept coming back, showed improvement. That is something to be celebrated (not in the way you're thinking) and encouraged. Whatever good days you can have you should have.

In my experience, time up or time lost is not the important factor. It is more a case of being brought back to step one, rather than day one. Usually, recovery is brought about to some degree by a number of experiences good and bad that lead the suffering alcoholic to appreciate the seriousness of their situation (step 1) and this in turn generates the willingness to do whatever it takes to get sober. If they think they are not really that bad, have just a slight reservation, then the effort at recovery will be less than 100%.

A note of caution though. I have seen folks with quite long sobriety pick up, and I have thought that all their knowledge, especially about recovery, will be a big help in getting sober again. In this I have often been completely wrong. It was like they had never been near recovery, the hard disk had been wiped. They never got another chance at recovery. And that's the problem with taking the fatal first drink. If you are an alcoholic of my type there is absolutely no telling where it will take you.

Justfor1

When people ask me, "how long I've been in the program?" I respond 8 years. Technically, Aug. 2004 is when I attended my first AA meeting. I was not only "in and out" of the program, I even attended & chaired a meeting intoxicated. But the last 2 years I have made great improvements in regards to sobriety.