sissy07

Hi Noro,

I am sorry to hear that you relapsed, but not surprised. When an alcoholic carries around a bottle of vodka, well, you know.

So here it is day one. Just pick up the pieces and start over. Find some things you can do outside of the home.....you are in a cycle of living in an unhealthy environment and trying to stop your bad feelings with alcohol. It doesn't work.

babycat

Hi Noro, so sorry you are going through this. It is a setback, yes, but not everything is "ruined". No one can take away the three months sober you have. THAT is awesome. So you ****** up. Most of us do. I still am all the time unfortunately. I want you to know, I have been reading your posts since you started posting about your health earlier this year. You are a poster here that I really look up to. Relapse and all. Please don't let this setback make you think that all is wasted (no pun intended). You can get it back. I know you can. No more carrying around bottles of vodka. Hugs.

CarolD

I too had false starts before I found solid recovery.

To find support in real life...I suggest you check out your local AA.
Why? because that is where I learned how to live sober and enjoy life..
.

Noro

I don't know if I even want to get sober again anymore. I lost a friendship last night over a drunken argument and I just feel awful. I've had a series of bad things happen to me and the drinking made it worse, but now it feels like drinking is all I can do to feel better and not have to think about it all.

Dee74

I think to avoid further situations like that, you need to stay sober Noro.

Sure it's rough dealing with consequences - but isn't that all the more reason never to willingly put yourself in such embarrassing, fraught and difficult scenarios anymore?

but you can do it...and move on, learn , grow and thrive into the bargain

D

F355

Hi Noro,

This is exactly how my alcoholic thought process has gotten me into trouble in the past. I have benefited a great deal, recently, by reading Jack Trimpey's book Rational Recovery, which talks about Rational Recovery and the AVRT method. I think this might be right up your alley, as well.

In the meantime, have you considered seeing a doc to help you with the drinking as well as the issues that lead you back into it?

Good luck to you, man.

Noro

Well, I guess if anyone needed proof that moderation doesn't happen for some people, here it is. I thought that I'd just get drunk for a night and then simply go back to being sober afterwards. Instead I've been drinking non-stop since that night. I feel awful. I feel worse than I've ever felt in my life. I have no more alcohol and I've been scouring my room for empty bottles of vodka so I can collect the leftover drops. I just don't want to feel like this.

So I can either sit here and deal with it, sober up and live my life, or I can just drink myself to death. It was only a little more than 3 months ago I was in the hospital and my liver was failing. I don't know where I'm at now but I know I won't last too long if I keep this up.

F355

Sounds to me like you know what you need to do, man. Three months is a good start, you know how to get sober now you just need to work on staying sober. I would again echo Dee's posting above. For some people this is accomplished by becoming a member of AA and attending meetings, for others its a combination of supervised detox and AA, or other programs like SMART (which I'm not familiar with, but have heard good things) and AVRT/ Rational Recovery. I implore you to give sobriety another go, man. You can do this.

We're here rooting for you and will help support you in any way we can.

Noro

I appreciate all the support. Yesterday I stayed sober all day, and got a lot of sleep last night. I feel a lot better than I did before, but still have these regrets that I have to deal with from when I went on that little bender. I still made a complete idiot of myself at times, and I stopped eating, working out, etc. So I feel like all the work I put into getting healthy and in shape has been totally reversed and is gone now.

Maybe that sounds ridiculous. All I know is that it makes me want to get drunk all over again and forget all about it. But that certainly won't solve anything. I'm thinking of just going to the doctor and discussing my depression and anxiety, just as you suggested F355. There's obviously something wrong that I need to address.

I just haven't been able to get the most out of AA, and I'm not sure whether or not it suits me. I'm really interested in Rational Recovery and AVRT, and I think I'll check out the literature on it.

F355

Right on! One thing none of us can do is change the past, and there really isn't any such thing as the past now, only the NOW. That's one of the things emphasized by the RR/AVRT game-plan. I am happy for you that you will be reading up on the program because I think it's really a great one.

I bought a copy of Jack Trimpey's Book, Rational Recovery, through amazon.com, and I think it may have even been less than ten bux. The first time you read through it you might not "get" everything, but a second read will clarify all the points once you've allowed everything else to sink in. Also, the book is an easy read, so you won't have to worry about that.

Also, there's a forum regular here, Terminally Unique, who is really well versed in RR/AVRT and has even started a forum for it, which can be found on listed on the forums page. I would highly recommend shooting him a message expressing interest in RR/AVRT. He'll be able to help you with any specific questions you might have. Or you can contact me. Any time.

Zencat

I like the AVRT because it cuts out all the lengthily procedures that one has to undertake with faith-based recovery systems and gets directly to the core of the problem.
Here's a link to the advanced AVRT crash course of RR: Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction - Jack Trimpey - Google Books