Fallow

I keep thinking about sobriety and trying but then I feel Im not in it 100 percent. Why do I keep attempting it if I know I dont really want it. Sure I thought I did when I was super hungover a few times. But then most times I just am happy in my same old routine. I wanna blame the things I hate like people close dyin on me, work suckin, family problems and whatnot on booze but I dont truly believe booze is the only problem. Yeah my wife IS crazy! My job Is irritating just like everyones. Not sayin I need to drink myself to death over it. Just sayin drinking isnt at the root of all my issues. If it was maybe I could push it out for good?!

Threshold

I know what you mean. I have way too many days when I think "I got clean for THIS?"

because life is what it is...I hoped that getting clean and sober would mean diamonds and roses falling from the sky...but of course it doesn't.

THat doesn't mean it's not worth it, had to find the reason, behind the reason, behind the reason.

I had to get to a point (I did get clean first) where I felt like being clean was worth it. Life is worth it, that LIFE is worth it, not just based on particular situational circumstances, which can change on a dime, but that LIFE is worth living.

Because as sure as there is crappy stuff, there is good stuff too. And if good things can go bad in a nanosecond, well, bad things can turn good too. I mean nothing is static or permanent.

In the end the only question that matters to me is "do I want to do this thing called life?, am I willing to experience it?"

I got wasted because I didn't want to deal.

My choice is whether or not I want to deal with life.

Ranger05

I would imagine people are gonna tell you that in order to get sober you MUST want to get sober first. I don't think it works any other way. I've had a few friends that were forced into programs by the courts. Did not one bit of good for either of them.

But I understand. I'm like you. I wanna slow down my drinking for one reason only. My health. Drinking has never caused me one serious problem that I know of. I drink every night but I never miss work. I pay my bills on time. I don't drink and drive. I don't get hangovers. I'm not a mean drinker. I eat a balanced diet. And as far as I know my liver is okay to this point. So it's hard for me to commit to the whole "stop drinking" thing too.

SoulFly

its happening me with all the time, and i know it would happen again and again but we have to keep sober to see ourselves in a better place. Drinking never gonna solve your problem but it will create more, you will realize when you are sober. Hope its short term though.

Ranger05

But what if there is not a problem to start with per se? What if ya just like to party?? I dunno. It's confusing. I know I need to slow down, but it's hard to think of any real good reasons to do so.

Money is one reason I guess. I do spend prolly $50.00+ a week on beer. That extra cash could come in handy.

soberlicious

Issues? everyone on this earth has problems, hardships, disappointments, irritations, etc. It's the human condition. For me personally, "checking out" with booze was irresponsible. When drinking causes you problems in your life, or exacerbates problems as it always eventually does, then it is a problem. The part of me that wants to get drunk will always tell me drinking isn't the problem. I know better.

Good question. The answer lies within.

Dee74

Getting sober didn't solve all my problems - but it did give me the right perspective and the clear head to start working on them

I despised who I was when I was drinking - but I was terrified of change too. Drinking was all I knew.

I really believe Fallow - you can be who you want to be - or you can drink.
If you're a drinker like me, I don't think you can do both.

have you heard the 2 wolves story Fallow?
Feed the right wolf
D

hypochondriac

Maybe the reason you keep attempting it is because you do want it. Have you done a cost/benefit analysis of your drinking? I don't think anyone is in this 100% all of the time... I certainly think that if I could drink without negative consequences then I'd still be drinking, but that ain't possible. Give it time and you'll end up with a good enough reason to quit, but then you'll still have to go through all the struggles because that just seems to be what our minds do to us. Have you tried AVRT before too? That really helped me separate out the chatter in my head.

I totally get the stopping drinking not solving everything too. I was genuinely surprised when life didn't just turn out perfect when I quit! But damn it it's better. I am now genuinely happy that not drinking hasn't changed my life. How could it, it's just a drink right? All that has happened is I can cope better and don't feel rubbish all the time. There's no bad in that!