Cry for help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1
Cry for help
Hi, I am new on here...and I need help. I feel that my drinking is out of control and there seems to be no end in sight. I don't have enough money for treatment and I don't know what to do. I have been drinking for years. I am a 26 y/o female and married with 2 kids. I drink alot, 1/2 bottle of vodka a night plus several beers, and yes, I am drinking right now.
I am fully functional though, I get up every morning and work my 7-4 job...I am lazy, I don't clean my house (which my hubby hates).
I am feeling lost and helpless...the only person who knows about my drinking is my husband and he drinks more than I do, I wish someone cared enough to do an intervention...the only issue is that NO one knows and I am too ashamed to tell anyone
I have recently had the urge to quit, but can't...I know I will die from this but since I am perfectly healthy now that does nothing for me...if I can't see the result of something then I dont believe it, silly I know
I need advice please
I am fully functional though, I get up every morning and work my 7-4 job...I am lazy, I don't clean my house (which my hubby hates).
I am feeling lost and helpless...the only person who knows about my drinking is my husband and he drinks more than I do, I wish someone cared enough to do an intervention...the only issue is that NO one knows and I am too ashamed to tell anyone
I have recently had the urge to quit, but can't...I know I will die from this but since I am perfectly healthy now that does nothing for me...if I can't see the result of something then I dont believe it, silly I know
I need advice please
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
You can do an intervention on yourself with nothing more than this site to walk you through it. Nothing can happen without action though...it is up to you to do this thing and you need to know that it can be done. People do it all the time around here. They quit drinking. They detox. They soon start to feel a little better. And then before you know it they feel better than they have in many many years. I'm coming up on one year sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
. i am also one of the ones who was once helpless and hopeless( also useless and worthless). i have recovered from that through the program and fellowship of AA.
i can remember thinkn alcohol wasnt effecting my health, but i wasnt lookin at the mental health as part of the equation, just physical. lookin back, i can see the mental and emotional damage it did. it took a lot of T.I.M.E. and footwork, but i have recovered from the hopeless state of mind that made me drink. i am no longer hopeless, helpless, useless, or worthless!!!! it all started with a decision to do whatever i had to do to stop drinking.
life has taken on new meaning!
i can remember thinkn alcohol wasnt effecting my health, but i wasnt lookin at the mental health as part of the equation, just physical. lookin back, i can see the mental and emotional damage it did. it took a lot of T.I.M.E. and footwork, but i have recovered from the hopeless state of mind that made me drink. i am no longer hopeless, helpless, useless, or worthless!!!! it all started with a decision to do whatever i had to do to stop drinking.
life has taken on new meaning!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome H&S 
You'll find a ton of support, advice and encouragement here.
I remember how I felt when I got here and realised I wasn't alone- people actually understood me here...it literally changed my life
There's lots of face to face support available too
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
You'll find a ton of support, advice and encouragement here.
I remember how I felt when I got here and realised I wasn't alone- people actually understood me here...it literally changed my life
There's lots of face to face support available too
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NY State
Posts: 8
As soon as you are able, I would suggest finding an AA meeting near you and attending. Theres no cost to you at all. Where I live and where I've traveled I've always been able to locate one, either via an answering service or the Internet.
It's going to take courage to do so, for sure. Going to a meeting was the last thing I wanted to do, but I'm so happy I did.
The fact you have recognized its an issue and you have some willingness is a great start. Whether its via AA or not, as others have noted, some action will need to be taken on your part.
Bless you and your family. People here care! Glad you've found us!
It's going to take courage to do so, for sure. Going to a meeting was the last thing I wanted to do, but I'm so happy I did.
The fact you have recognized its an issue and you have some willingness is a great start. Whether its via AA or not, as others have noted, some action will need to be taken on your part.
Bless you and your family. People here care! Glad you've found us!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
It was lovely meeting you in chat.
Please know you CAN do this...you've already taken the first step. Reaching out for support is huge and SR is the best Recovery site around. Many people here helped me along my journey. They had faith in me when I didn't have any in myself.
I do hope you'll see a Doctor to be safe side.
Best Wishes To you!
Please know you CAN do this...you've already taken the first step. Reaching out for support is huge and SR is the best Recovery site around. Many people here helped me along my journey. They had faith in me when I didn't have any in myself.
I do hope you'll see a Doctor to be safe side.
Best Wishes To you!
o_0
Join Date: May 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 26
Hey Welcome to SR,
I am new here as well, I have nothing to say but I would suggest start taking action don't worry about a special day or tomorrow to quit throw out the bottle right now and as other said if you need to see a doctor do that. you have 2 kids you love them a lot so for them you need to be sober, they never expect you to see drunk. Good luck hopefully you will start asap
I am new here as well, I have nothing to say but I would suggest start taking action don't worry about a special day or tomorrow to quit throw out the bottle right now and as other said if you need to see a doctor do that. you have 2 kids you love them a lot so for them you need to be sober, they never expect you to see drunk. Good luck hopefully you will start asap
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Texas, a state of mind
Posts: 380
Just a side note on your post:
"I am fully functional though, I get up every morning and work my 7-4 job...I am lazy, I don't clean my house (which my hubby hates)."
Err, why doesn't he clean the house? (not trying to start trouble but - you work full time, so it doesn't seem obvious to me that the messy house is down to you alone...)
Apart from that: Please don't feel helpless. You obviously have a great deal of strength to get up and out in the early mornings, to take care of 2 children, and so forth.
All of this will be So Much Easier when you step away from the alcohol. Take a look at the forum on this board called "Secular Connections" and the thread about AVRT. Here's a LINK. You might just find everything you need is at hand.
Best wishes to you - you can turn this bus around, my friend!
"I am fully functional though, I get up every morning and work my 7-4 job...I am lazy, I don't clean my house (which my hubby hates)."
Err, why doesn't he clean the house? (not trying to start trouble but - you work full time, so it doesn't seem obvious to me that the messy house is down to you alone...)
Apart from that: Please don't feel helpless. You obviously have a great deal of strength to get up and out in the early mornings, to take care of 2 children, and so forth.
All of this will be So Much Easier when you step away from the alcohol. Take a look at the forum on this board called "Secular Connections" and the thread about AVRT. Here's a LINK. You might just find everything you need is at hand.
Best wishes to you - you can turn this bus around, my friend!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 4
You say you don't want to quit because your still healthy, so are you going to wait until you need a liver transplant before you kick the habit?
You have a great opportunity here to nip it in the bud, of course you will find it harder than most if your husband drinks you under the table every night so youre both going to need to do a lot of talking & understanding
The best way to look at it is wake up sober and really ask yourself, are you happy? I think you will then find out what you need to do
You have a great opportunity here to nip it in the bud, of course you will find it harder than most if your husband drinks you under the table every night so youre both going to need to do a lot of talking & understanding
The best way to look at it is wake up sober and really ask yourself, are you happy? I think you will then find out what you need to do
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi and a big welcome to SR. I can fully relate to your post as do we all.
I'm only 6 weeks sober but I can already feel the benefits physically and mentally. I'm not going to lie, it isn't always easy especially for you when you're living with another drinker like I am. But it can be done. We all care about and support each other every step of the way. You don't have to announce it to the world, you've got us and we understand.
AA has really helped me and it might work for you, but there are other ways of quitting too. Read other peoples stories, what worked for them, what they struggled with and you will learn so much.
We are here for you. Keep posting. No matter what is happening in our own lives, helping others along the way helps us all keep sober.
Good luck xx
I'm only 6 weeks sober but I can already feel the benefits physically and mentally. I'm not going to lie, it isn't always easy especially for you when you're living with another drinker like I am. But it can be done. We all care about and support each other every step of the way. You don't have to announce it to the world, you've got us and we understand.
AA has really helped me and it might work for you, but there are other ways of quitting too. Read other peoples stories, what worked for them, what they struggled with and you will learn so much.
We are here for you. Keep posting. No matter what is happening in our own lives, helping others along the way helps us all keep sober.
Good luck xx
:..Welcome to our recovery communityMember
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
Hi ... you've just taken the first step: admitted you're powerless over alcohol. I drank two bottles of wine daily for ten years and, when I almost died, walked into the doors of AA. I was terrified and followed all suggestions. What worked was the enormous support of other alcoholics who been in my shoes. What amazed me was learning I don't HAVE to drink! I honestly thought I did.
Don't worry about motivation, you just don't drink today.
Don't worry about motivation, you just don't drink today.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Helpless, I'm glad you're here!
I remember wishing someone would "save" me...have an intervention etc. I wanted proof that someone cared enough, that I was worth "saving" and that somehow someone could do it for me.
Then I realized that I needed to care enough to save me. That there was no point in hoping or expecting others to do for me what I was not willing to do for myself.
That was the hardest part of this. I had to care enough to do it myself. That still is the hardest part for me, to accept that I have to take care of me, create a life I am willing to live, do the work, and not count on others for self esteem, a reason to live etc.
I challenge your statement that you are fully functional, if that is true..why do you consider your drinking a problem? Just a thought.
It was a real "ah ha" moment in early recovery when I was sitting listening to my personal litany of "why do THEY treat me this way?" to ask myself "hey, why do I treat me this way?" because no one was treating me worse than I was treating myself.
I didn't have money for rehab either, or therapy. It came down to whether or not I was willing to do what it takes. It still comes down to that every day.
For some people rehab IS essential, and it comes down to whether or not they are willing to do what it takes to find a free one or find a way to pay for one...and yes, people do that because that is what they recognize it will take for them. We each have our own journeys.
SR is a real asset in my recovery. I had access to meetings for my first six months, then that changed. SR serves as my support resource, and daily "wake up" call.
I remember wishing someone would "save" me...have an intervention etc. I wanted proof that someone cared enough, that I was worth "saving" and that somehow someone could do it for me.
Then I realized that I needed to care enough to save me. That there was no point in hoping or expecting others to do for me what I was not willing to do for myself.
That was the hardest part of this. I had to care enough to do it myself. That still is the hardest part for me, to accept that I have to take care of me, create a life I am willing to live, do the work, and not count on others for self esteem, a reason to live etc.
I challenge your statement that you are fully functional, if that is true..why do you consider your drinking a problem? Just a thought.
It was a real "ah ha" moment in early recovery when I was sitting listening to my personal litany of "why do THEY treat me this way?" to ask myself "hey, why do I treat me this way?" because no one was treating me worse than I was treating myself.
I didn't have money for rehab either, or therapy. It came down to whether or not I was willing to do what it takes. It still comes down to that every day.
For some people rehab IS essential, and it comes down to whether or not they are willing to do what it takes to find a free one or find a way to pay for one...and yes, people do that because that is what they recognize it will take for them. We each have our own journeys.
SR is a real asset in my recovery. I had access to meetings for my first six months, then that changed. SR serves as my support resource, and daily "wake up" call.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Everyone, and I mean all of us, will agree that addictions are progressive by their nature. Every day we use and abuse, the tighter the screws get, the deeper the hooks are set. So, doesn't this mean that quitting is getting harder every danged day? Every day you drink, the harder it will be to stop, and the worse life becomes.
So, are you ready to make your plan about continuing to drink?
So, are you ready to make your plan about continuing to drink?
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