tacks

First and foremost i have had wonderful experiences in rehab and i would NOT discourage anyone from going. The large majority of nurses, staff, counselors, securtiy were just GREAT! Heck i even thought that cooks were fantastic -- fantastic both in their attitudes and in the meals themselves.

The staff were supportive. They absolutely did support me in facing demons while NOT disrespecting me. In other words they did not fail to treat me as an intelligent adult while helping me with my problem. In fact i'm actually surprised at how open, forthcoming and candid they were with my alkie self.

**********************************************

Having said al that i'm going to recall one conversation that i had with one of the staff counselors whom i respect very much.

"That guy, Sean, there," i pointed someone out. "He has a big addiction problem."

"I know this because he asked for a bowl of cereal last night."

The staff counselor immediately knew that i was being sarcastic. She hesitated a moment.

"Did someone actually say that?" she questioned.


**********************************************

Again the majority are excellent, imo. But then some are less excellent than others.

One counselor did tend to overuse the "it's because you have a disease" response.

********************************************

that's my rambling thought for today

best regards

tacks

Ranger

Thanks for sharing, Tacks.

If I may, what's the most valuable takeaway you have from your time in rehab?

tacks

Hi Ranger,

You certainly may ask. thank you

Dare i say that the most valuable thing was not "clean time." Because i am capable of being a sick miserable dry drunk without rehab.


If i had to sum it up, it was probably my own words that were most valuable. I most valued what i heard myself saying.

Background: i know nothing about cars and nothing about a lot of other things. but part of my profession involves public speaking and how to prepare for such. Not that i am especially brilliiant, rather it's just what i am paid to do.

This is relevant when you consider the fact that almost no one in rehab ever prepares before speaking. So a combination circumstances made look and sound pretty good.


example:

I valued the relationships, bonds, support, the sharing and comraderie that i had with several.

So when we had little farewell meetings for folks i didn't want to show my appreication by just talk a bunch of rambling poop.


Here is some of what i said:

"...everyone else is asking you and telling you about staying clean. and that's certainly important. But what i want to know is what is preventing you from being a leader? What is preventing you from taking a manager's role? Because you do have leadership qualities. You've shown that to everyone here."

In summary, a lot of what i was telling these people was really what i was trying to tell to myself.




Second most valuable: An intellligent counselor told me that i was "too smart for my own good."

Besides being flattering that's also somewhat awakening. As i am very capable of screwing myself as much as i would like to.


And finally, again, i really need to be grateful to the counselors and staff who facilitated this enviroment where all of this took place.

Ranger

So, then, the primary value of rehab in your experience was to provide the space you needed to realize your addiction was spoiling your potential? That is to say, the booze was making a follower out of a leader?

sugarbear1

I wish you long term sobriety.

2granddaughters

tacks, are you going to AA meetings?

All the best.

Bob R

tacks

Hi Ranger,

Thanks for reading and responding.

It provided me with "the space" that i needed -- a space with excellent resources.

The primary value was pulling me out of a rut.

(A rut which i did eventually fall back in -- but then recognized my fault and pulled myself out much more quickly than I would have done in the past.)

A space with excellent resources for me to utilize. But, also worth noting, a space that also had stuff well worth avoiding -- and avoiding knuckleheads SHOULD be easy enough to do in a GOOD rehab. (footnote 1) Albeit, this is the 43 year old me saying this. Wouldn't have been so easy 20 years ago.

And i did realize that i was being "a follower." Instead of confronting issues and dealing with them. I would follow a plan of self medication which only worsened things.

And furthermore, yes, it made me realize that i do have a lot of good qualities going for me (maybe leadership could be one, to a degree). But whatever qualities i have why am i wasting my time?




footnote 1: I'm what some call a "retread." I've been to inpatient rehab twice. Not proud of that.

But sometime i'd like to do a write up between the two institutions because one was so much better than the other. And that is NOT because i found the people were better and or worse at either place.

tacks

Thanks to Sugarbear and 2granddaughters,

No, i'm not going to AA meetings. Although i do bump in to my former sponser. He and i were on good terms before he was aware of myself having a problem. And i'd like to think that now we're on better terms.

I WOULD go to an NA meeting because i like the people there very much. (it's the only NA meeting that i know of in the area)

To be quite frank one of the things that i enjoyed hearing in jail ....no. ....that's wrong. ....lemme start over.

To be quite frank one of the things that i enjoyed hearing in rehab was hearing about how many men were sexually abused as children. ...one of the things that i enjoyed hearing from Ex Convicts and others was....

For me, it's better hearing that from someone whom you've grown to know and respect vs someone on a daytime talk show watched primarily by women (forgive me if i'm being sexist).

A little background: I do remember remembering "stuff" very vividly in college. And i did seek professionals and i did deal with that. And I went a full decade without even really thinking about it further.

But stuff can come back.

I find that if and when i can manage other demons then managing my drinking can be quite easy -- almost effortless. And that's not to say that all my demons are all that extreme, intense, etc.

My aversion to filing away completed paperwork is as bad as any of them.

back to work

bryangt

For me, I wouldn't 'be' where I am today without rehab. 40 years of drinking...90 days of rehab...I need to be walked through the program--shown how to deal with living life sober.
It was scary at first, but when it is was all done, I could not have made a better choice.

tacks

Hi

Thanks again to all who shared and responded here.

Again, i met some great people in rehab and had some great experiences. And i wouldn't wan to discourage anyone from it (well anyone who was sincerely interested in bettering themselves).

Having said that here's something about some of the people who'd i call "less than great." If anyone is interested. Plenty of greatness in rehab. But some stuff worth avoiding.

**************************

I'm remembering an argument between two kids in detox.


"We're going to be transferred to building B,." said the one kid.

"No, we're going to D building," said the other.

"Hey, i've been here 12 times. OK. I know what i'm talking about."

Oh my god!!! Being a 26 year old in rehab 12 times makes you some kind of an authority!?!

Not wanting to be overly judgmental, but i want to know MORE of what that kid advises so i'd know what NOT to do.

rant over



thanks for listening