Starting over
New beginnings are the best!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 124
Starting over
Yesterday, I remember telling myself "I made it to day 9! I am so proud of myself." And then I got drunk last night.
So today I am starting over. Today I choose not to drink. I want to be honest about this counting business. Counting the days, although it can really motivate, it can also really hinder us...... in that, I think when/if we do relapse, it makes us feel like it wasn't just a blip, but a major fail. Especially if we were like several years sober and then went back to it, if only for one night. This is just me though. I don't want to make my recovery about charting and calculating, but rather to live one day at a time without alcohol. One day at a time. TODAY, I am sober. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed anyway, and yesterday is no longer here. TODAY is my day to live a sober life. And yes, we know that as time goes on, we feel better, we improve ...... But if my head is in tomorrow, then today wasn't lived. Today was just a blank space that I hung out in while I was thinking about something that didn't even happen yet.
So I guess I mean that this is helping me to be present, also. I learned from last night. I learned that alcohol isn't for me, like ever. I don't want to drink it at all. Not even one glass. I just cannot handle it, and not so much even that. I just have no desire whatsoever to have something change me. To have something alter who I am and how I respond to life. Who would want that? To know that this liquid that we're throwing back is going to change what we say, how we carry ourselves, what we do, etc. I want to be me! I want to have control. I don't want to appear so vulnerable. It leaves no mystery. And it's not even attractive either. It just ........ sucks.
So today I am going to be present. Today I am sober. Today I rest.
So today I am starting over. Today I choose not to drink. I want to be honest about this counting business. Counting the days, although it can really motivate, it can also really hinder us...... in that, I think when/if we do relapse, it makes us feel like it wasn't just a blip, but a major fail. Especially if we were like several years sober and then went back to it, if only for one night. This is just me though. I don't want to make my recovery about charting and calculating, but rather to live one day at a time without alcohol. One day at a time. TODAY, I am sober. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed anyway, and yesterday is no longer here. TODAY is my day to live a sober life. And yes, we know that as time goes on, we feel better, we improve ...... But if my head is in tomorrow, then today wasn't lived. Today was just a blank space that I hung out in while I was thinking about something that didn't even happen yet.
So I guess I mean that this is helping me to be present, also. I learned from last night. I learned that alcohol isn't for me, like ever. I don't want to drink it at all. Not even one glass. I just cannot handle it, and not so much even that. I just have no desire whatsoever to have something change me. To have something alter who I am and how I respond to life. Who would want that? To know that this liquid that we're throwing back is going to change what we say, how we carry ourselves, what we do, etc. I want to be me! I want to have control. I don't want to appear so vulnerable. It leaves no mystery. And it's not even attractive either. It just ........ sucks.
So today I am going to be present. Today I am sober. Today I rest.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I learned early on in recovery that it
is easy to talk the talk of recovery but
that I needed to back it up with some
sort of action.
Not only do I talk the talk but I also
walk the walk of recovery each and
every single day.
Having an alcohol free inviroment is
a good beginning to insure you wont
drink in the comforts and security of
your own home.
One step at a time, one day at a time.
Breath and relax. Grab a hold an someones
coattail so you don't have to travel the road
of recovery by urself.
is easy to talk the talk of recovery but
that I needed to back it up with some
sort of action.
Not only do I talk the talk but I also
walk the walk of recovery each and
every single day.
Having an alcohol free inviroment is
a good beginning to insure you wont
drink in the comforts and security of
your own home.
One step at a time, one day at a time.
Breath and relax. Grab a hold an someones
coattail so you don't have to travel the road
of recovery by urself.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 153
Hi, TR.
Have you read up on AVRT, Rational Recovery?
One of its core concepts deals with the (in my opinion) valid point you've made above about time progression/counting days.
If you haven't already, I highly recommend you check it out.
It has helped me tremendously in my own journey.
Good luck, man!
Have you read up on AVRT, Rational Recovery?
One of its core concepts deals with the (in my opinion) valid point you've made above about time progression/counting days.
If you haven't already, I highly recommend you check it out.
It has helped me tremendously in my own journey.
Good luck, man!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
cool beans on the "ah ha" moment! now, putting down the drink doesnt make a person sober, just dry. the definition of sober i like is, " not effected by alcohol." it took a lot of work and changiing me to get there, but i only had to do it for one day and every day was worth it.
i have had a jillion times i never wanted to touch it ever again. the one that sticks with me was goin to work one morning after a good drunk. i was still drunk and had to work through the hangover( i built houses at the time and it was a pretty warm day). in the morning i was tellin myself i'm done drinkin. no more! as the day went on, i would think about a drink and would push that back in. my ride home was about an hour and i talked myself into gettin a 40 ouncer. i walked into the store at the end of my block for a 40 and walked out with a 12 pack. got home, cracked one, and it tasted like crap! so, back to the store for some jim beam! i could drink that!
i didnt get desperate enough to do whatever i had to do to stop drinking for a few more years, but with a lot of footwork changing me, i got sober and and have stayed sober since, one day at a time.
i have had a jillion times i never wanted to touch it ever again. the one that sticks with me was goin to work one morning after a good drunk. i was still drunk and had to work through the hangover( i built houses at the time and it was a pretty warm day). in the morning i was tellin myself i'm done drinkin. no more! as the day went on, i would think about a drink and would push that back in. my ride home was about an hour and i talked myself into gettin a 40 ouncer. i walked into the store at the end of my block for a 40 and walked out with a 12 pack. got home, cracked one, and it tasted like crap! so, back to the store for some jim beam! i could drink that!
i didnt get desperate enough to do whatever i had to do to stop drinking for a few more years, but with a lot of footwork changing me, i got sober and and have stayed sober since, one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Richmond,Va.
Posts: 183
We are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking,and as one fellow says "We have also lost the ability to control our sobriety."So we are trapped,can't drink and can't not drink,the dilema of the alcoholic.
I found the answer in the rooms of AA.....Good Luck to you.
Cheers,Steve
I found the answer in the rooms of AA.....Good Luck to you.
Cheers,Steve
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
I dont like counting days either. This last time I had about 3 months then I decided to drink. I dont feel like its a waste. I feel good cause I know I was sober roughly half of the last year. And I can do more and better!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Keep Trying
Posts: 370
Good perspective TR! Just keep on keeping on. My temptation has not reared its ugly head yet which is quite suprising since Im on day 12, but when it does...oh #**(% watch out! I gotta get to one of those miracle meetings.
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