TheRestorative

So today's my official 24th birthday. woo! I'm 8 days sober today, too and I have been feeling so much better. My daughters and I went to a mother's day tea party at my eldest daughter's preschool tonight. It was fun. We made a picture frame craft and took a picture to put in the frame. We ate cookies and fruit and had lemonade. My daughter stood with her class and sang songs about mommies, and I got to chat with some other moms. It was such a blessing to look around me and see mothers with their children. I was overwhelmed with joy, knowing that I'm now a sober mom. I feel like I can do so much more now. On the way home, I was listening to music and feeling really good about this last week.

The moment I put my girls to bed, I thought, "Hey, it's my birthday! How about just one glass of wine? Maybe I could train myself to just have one glass, and I'll start tonight because it's my birthday! I deserve it, don't I? Yeah, I've been really good." What stupid thoughts. I'm kind of ashamed, because I thought I was better than that.

Naturally, I jumped onto SR to read some posts to get myself back to the mind frame of sobriety. It's too easy to just slip into excuse mode, isn't it? I'll have you know that when I quit drinking, I quit smoking, too. I only smoked cigarettes when I drank any way, so it wasn't that difficult. It was always just something to do while I was drinking and feeling high energy.

But when I talked myself out of the drink tonight, I thought about having a cigarette instead. I could go outside and get some fresh air and smoke a cig (irony? fresh air..... cigarette smoke.....). But I didn't feel right about that either. I just want to be clean, in every possible way. Does anyone else have a mind set of purity that is just so super white? Do you know what I mean? I want to eat healthy and exercise, too. Such big goals, so I told myself I really needed to tackle the drinking first.

Just wanted to check in. When temptation arises, I like to write something to just get it out there.

Dee74

Happy Birthday

I think most of us have thoughts of being ultra white and pure in the beginning - I know I did.

I'm glad that phase didn't last for me because I found it every bit as obsessive and time consuming as my alcohol and drug addictions.

there is a middle way between excess and asceticism I think.

We can live healthy and make good decisions for our health and our lives, & yet keep a grounded perspective.

To me thats good recovery

You had a smoke. OK...whatever

Taking up smoking right now tho? that would be a bad idea I think - it's very very easy to get hooked on something new in early recovery.

be careful

D

TheRestorative

Thank you for reminding me of this. It is so true. The alcohol isn't there, so I feel like all of the energy I would have put into it has to be redirected toward something else. In this case, it's recovery. Health, wellness. It could be anything. It's that tricky balance that gets me. I struggle with it.

Thanks again.

NewHouse2012

That is great that you had the opportunity to spend such quality time with your girls! Happy Birthday and what a great thing that it was a sober one. I allow myself anything (eating wise) in order to stop drinking and I naturally crave better cleaner food. Its hard not to take things to extremes when we want to be clean but one thing at a time. Personally for me quitting drinking is my number one priority right now and it sounds like it is the same for you. Im with you that I need to take up exercise, as that is lacking from my daily routine. I am giving myself the first two weeks to just rest and try to be reflective, then I swear Ill exercise lol!

TheRestorative

Yes, rest!!! Telling a mother to rest is like telling a whale to survive on land. Haha, it's just not in me to sit. When I try to sit, I realize there are a million and two other things to do! But that's just what I'll do tonight. Sit. Relax. Right now, my husband is making a delicious kale salad. Smells good so far!

BillyWeaver

Eating/cooking has helped me quite a bit in my first few days (I am on day 5) I have been eating alot, however i have already lost about 3 pounds!

Congrats on not falling into the temptation...I was very close today

sugarbear1

:day6 Happy Birthday!

You've given yourself the best gift--sobriety!

I wanted to change everything at the same time, but for me, it had to be small steps and changes first, but it all is falling into place now!

Hugs,

CarolD

Well done on your early sobreity...and Yes! good job on thinking the drink thru.

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