thinking about it
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
thinking about it
I am a recovering binge drinker, at one point I had 6 years of sobriety and been drinking off/on for the last 3 years. I am now sober only 5 days again because I slipped and had 2 glasses of wine last Friday night. Before that it had been about a 3 weeks since my last binge.
I don't want to drink, I know know KNOW it is not what I want to do but I seem to have lost my steadfastness around it. A couple times lately I have caught myself romanticizing it and after I get my head together and some time has passed I realize I had a near miss. So for example, tonight was my last class at school and I didn't receive an invite out for a drink, and I did not go drink on my own. That's good, but I'm home now, and thinking that had I been asked, I don't think I would have said no. I guess I wasn't prepared going into class with how I would handle such an offer and I am realizing that I was kind of disappointed about not getting it.
I've written out all the horrendous things I've done in my recent relapses. I'm checking in here all the time. I have not yet gone to my WFS meeting. Actually I think there is one tomorrow, I think I should go.
Thanks for letting me come here to vent and catch up with others struggling, at least I am here and not drinking in a bar and driving home drunk and waking up tomorrow hating myself.
Damn.
I don't want to drink, I know know KNOW it is not what I want to do but I seem to have lost my steadfastness around it. A couple times lately I have caught myself romanticizing it and after I get my head together and some time has passed I realize I had a near miss. So for example, tonight was my last class at school and I didn't receive an invite out for a drink, and I did not go drink on my own. That's good, but I'm home now, and thinking that had I been asked, I don't think I would have said no. I guess I wasn't prepared going into class with how I would handle such an offer and I am realizing that I was kind of disappointed about not getting it.
I've written out all the horrendous things I've done in my recent relapses. I'm checking in here all the time. I have not yet gone to my WFS meeting. Actually I think there is one tomorrow, I think I should go.
Thanks for letting me come here to vent and catch up with others struggling, at least I am here and not drinking in a bar and driving home drunk and waking up tomorrow hating myself.
Damn.
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