4MyMel

So today is day 21. I haven't made it this many days since like 2006 I think?? I don't know. Last year my longest was 19 days, in 2009 I did like 3 weeks before my world turned upside down.

Anyway, I have cut back for a while and then quit 3 weeks ago because I'm looking to have a child and I had all the tests done and stuff and everything is normal. I was surprised. So, knowing that alcohol makes it harder to conceive and obviously is damaging to the baby, I quit. However, I can't stop thinking about drinking sometimes. I'm not going to pick up under any circumstance because the risk is just too great and I want this child more than anything. However, I sit here, work is over, I'm about to leave and all I can think of is how nice it would be to just have a few and relax.

I've been trying to do other things. I go for walks with my partner after work when she's not working. Today she works. When she works I stay at the office late, then once I get home, her mom takes my car to church so I have no transportation. But once I'm home I don't think about drinking.

I feel like a physical want for alcohol. I don't know if that makes sense. I can feel the first drink going down. Does this ever end, or get better? Are these what are called cravings?

Scolova

I've said it a bunch; I drank a whole lotta Iced Tea when I quit, it really helped with my compulsions. But nothing can truly break those craving other than you and a good amount of time spent 'not drinking'. Think of the hell of the hangover\withdraw\detox rather than the taste or buzz and know that there is nothing left in that bottle, nothing but death.

4MyMel

Yeah, I've become addicted to coffee. Although I only allow myself 1 decaf cup a day. Seems to kill the craving. And yes the thoughts of the hangover too.

Dee74

Hi again 4MyMel

I dunno about you but I drank for years - it does get better, but it will take time and sometimes a little effort.

The physical cravings - the sweating for a drink, the shaking for one, the gnawing in my stomach - that all went pretty quickly considering...

but the obsession - thinking about how much I'd 'like a drink'..that endured much longer....

21 days is great but there's more to come on the journey...fortunately it does get easier and no one needs to do this alone.

What are you doing for support, 4MyMel?

D

doggonecarl

Do you mean as soon as possible, have a child?

Maybe it's because I've just been reading about the heartache that children of alcoholics go through, but your comment about wanting to have a baby when you haven't accumulated a month of sober time since 2006 scares the heck out of me.

They say you shouldn't be involved in a relationship for your first year of recovery. I would think the same thing would apply for bringing a new life into this world.

Please get a good year of recovery under your feet before you consider motherhood.

CarolD

I was back in balance ..physically and mentally....by the end of my second month of sobriety.
I too was an active alcoholic ..had been for years.

Also...I went daily to an AA meeting...I prayed often...changed my diet and made new non drinking friends
Early sobriety meant I had to make many positive changes...
:

Well done on your sober time...please don't give it up

whatevername

Hiya,
I can relate to what your saying, I am only a month sober.
I can only add that staying busy is really helping me, all the stuff I put off while slumped in front of the computer in a bath robe with a bottle is getting done now...it helps take my mind off things. I'm rootin for ya, hope you can overcome the urges, all the best

instant

All sort of stuff happens, I used to taste wine when driving home. This is an addiction and once acute withdrawal is over there are other phases. Educate yourself with AVRT, SMART etc

Having said that the second six months is better than the first. I found focusing on what I have, or am experiencing rather than what I do not have (or want) very helpful.

thisisme

It gets easier. They fade in time.

If someone asked me to describe sobriety in one word it would be patience.

theatredork

21 days is about the worst (was for me, anyway)... it was like I felt deprived, but didn't have any real time to show for it. Now I do get cravings every now and then but the obsession really is gone. The only ting that really helps me is actively engaging in recovery... right this minute I'm not as actively engaged - haven't called my sponsor in a few days, only went to one meeting so far this week - but I'm here, right? Not jetting to the store to get a bottle on my lunch break. It's not an option. Junk food, that is an option I've also engaged with recently... gotta work on that... but I still haven't had a drink in over a year.

It seems like work at first, but engaging with other alcoholics and basically not drinking and talking to people - it works. It gets better. And a baby... babies need not only sober mommies and mommies and daddies, but healthy mommies and mommies and daddies. Just "not drinking" doesn't make for an emotionally healthy mommy. It take mroe work, but you are worth it! So is your partner and your future child.

NYYankee76

For me the first few weeks seemed to fly by and now I am at 6 weeks and have found a whole new set of things to deal with. I think things seems to be in a constant state of movement. Some days it is all about getting through the day without drinking, while other days it's about the feelings, insecurities, and emotions or my reactions to what is happening to me. I haven't found a pattern as to why or when which one will happen. I don't know if the physical or the emotional is tougher to deal with... but it's definitely easier to focus, discuss, make decisions, and work through things with a clear/sober mind.

waw545

The alcohol wds. will get better get you a big book and read this will make you fell better about yourself walking may help keeping your mind occupied with positive stuff will help. Hang on the road will get bumpy sometime but you can do it. Blessings to you.

tomsteve

what got me though the phenomenom of craving is knowing alcohol was no longer helping anything, gettin a God personal to me, praying to Him, and putting complete trust in people who had sobered up before me. eventually the cravings went away, then it was all about my thinking.
now, i still occasionaly think how nice it would be to have a drink, but i know i only have a choice over the 1st one, then the disease of alcoholism will kick in. its a disease that tells me i dont have a disease, everythings all right. keep on drinkin. i know i can make that choice to pop a top on the 1st one, but life has been awesome in recovery!

NewStep

Hi, I've stayed sober for about 1 week but previously I managed 5 weeks, I think that's the longest since I was 15 or 16. What I tend to do is find something else to do to distract myself. I think about alcohol every day, and every day it feels like the cravings may get the better of me, but I do really try to focus on anything alternative and it really help with the cravings because then I'm not thinking about alcohol.