jojoba

AA is a light unto the world. Every question to life's problems finds an answer in the BB.

That said, DUI laws are too strict. Someone blowing a .08 BAC is not impaired. Even Candy Lightner of MADD says so. Stoned drivers are far more dangerous than someone driving at .08 BAC, but states choose not to go after drugged drivers. As someone here pointed out, today's DWI laws are just money-making devices for the states.

Your AH needs to go to meetings, but good meetings: not court slipper meetings, not meetings where people are just there to see and to be seen, and to play on iPhones and update their Facebook status. Real recovery using the BB.

Justfor1

Liz, I could be wrong but I get the impression that you are worried about your husband's jail sentence. Jails/prisons are not quite as bad as the movies/TV make it out to be. If he was a sex offender I would be perhaps a little worried. But he is just a drunk caught up in the system & will most likely be housed with other min/medium type inmates. I do have a friend who has been sober for 2years & he stopped drinking after his first DUI arrest. He seemed to be quite upset by the arrest process & being treated like a criminal. Hopefully, your husband will choose that path. On the other hand, I have a friend who has 7 DUI's & still drinks & drives.

Justfor1

Liz, forgot to add I never wore a seat belt either & frequently still do not when I drive today. :rotfxko I think a lot of alcoholics dislike authority or being told what we can & can't do.

lizatola

I kinda figured except he's not an alcoholic.....just ask him! And, actually, I'm not really worried about his jail sentence. I'm more concerned with how our 13 year old will handle it. Last night, AH made a statement regarding his jail time and thinks he will be in general population, which I assured him he will not. He said, "Well, who knows. Maybe I'll get knifed in the throat while I'm in there and put an end to all this crap." Yeah, that's a positive way to look at it. And,what do I say to that?

suki44883

Oh my! What a pity party he's having. Poor thing.

lizatola

I'm getting tired of saying "poor thing" with him. He started drinking again due to his depression issues getting out of hand. I had begged him for years to get help, his answer was to get help in a bottle. Sigh, and now look where we're at. He knows he has 'stinkin thinkin' but what's he going to do about it? I'm finally getting help for myself and I know he wants me to punish him, just like the judge is going to do. Unfortunately, for him, I have found a better way to live my life. I just have to start putting my Al Anon tools into action on a more frequent practice. The good news is, he gives me lots of opportunities!

DayTrader

^^^^^^^^ Such a "healthy" post. Wow.....impressive.

To a practicing alkie, alanon's "tools" seem very mean, cold and heartless. They're not, of course.....but when you're accustomed to manipulating everyone and everything and they quit toeing the line....it seems like they're doing it out of spite.

I know I was prepared to drink for as long as I thought I could live with the consequences of it. So, in a way, getting kicked around by the courts, by work, by my actions......they were really acts of mercy - things I had to go through to finally get humble enough to see my problem and reach out for help.

lizatola

And, I can only hope that it gets him humble enough, as well. I found his stupid flask today, hidden where I was looking for a pad of paper. It wasn't there the other day so that tells me he's aware of where it is and is moving the target around. I don't know if he drank any, I really don't care, but I am sad that he doesn't have the sense to just get rid of his hidden stash at this point. It's like he's so attached to it all that he keeps it around for comfort even if he's not drinking it. And, that is truly sad. Too bad that I'm enjoying my life and making plans with friends I haven't spent time with in years. I've got 3 good friends outside of Al Anon who I confide in and they have been the best! Honestly, I'm actually at peace. I think I'm just sad for him because he doesn't know that life could be so much better!