illbewaiting

As the adult child of(now recovered) alcoholics, I would say speak with them.
I always knew growing up what was going on and what caused my parents AWFUL behavior, but we never talked about it until they were sober.
I had to go through some pretty awful things as a kid..
Cleaning up my parents vomit, putting them to bed, cleaning house,etc.. and that was at the age of 10. My older siblings were off doing their own thing(getting the hell out of dodge really) and I, the baby, was left at home, with two drunken parents, taking care of them and myself.
I think it's really important that your children know what is going on, especially that you are working on getting sober.
Also, maybe look into some sort of group/counselor/organization where they can talk about everything themselves.
Right around the time my mother finally pt her best foot forward and started getting sober we both started attending counseling(separate and together) and it really helped our relationship.
I was able to talk about how everything impacted me, and I was able to say things to her in a safe environment that I never would have had the guts to say at home.
It really, really helped our relationship.
It's now about 12 years later, my mother has been completely sober the whole time, and we are the best of friends. We live 800+ miles away from each other, but talk every day.. and even when we dont its as if we never skipped a beat.
If your family does this together, or your children at least have a role or an outlet, you'll be stronger in the long run.
I wish you and your children the best of luck.

vinnie302

This is my first post on here and decided that I should answer this because this hits home. I have 4 kids. 10, 9, 4, 2. I have the same guilt as everyone else does about drinking in front of them. I've been drunk enough to bump into walls and even pass out on the living room floor in the middle of the day. I never talk to them about it. I'm so used to being a disappointment that I guess I feel that they are used to it as well. I don't know. I'm not an everyday drinker. But I do sometimes drink during the week once or twice but on the weekends I hit it HARD. If I could drink everyday I would. Today is day 3 for me....again. Good luck and may our journeys be life changing.

dawnrunner

What a great thread, so much kindness and pain too.

I just want to say that the sooner the better, for everyone who has disappointed their children with drunkenness.

And: They will forgive, but they don't forget. Bear in mind that they will bear some fear about you. And you will need to be super-reliable in the future. And you will do it!

I so much wish I had stopped before.....incidents I am still too ashamed to share. But now my boys are in their 20's and have forgiven as far as I can tell, and thank the Lord there is a future for us.

Best wishes to all parents who are stopping asap!!!!!!!

dscottnmel

Such a good reason to step up to the challenge, I've pretty much blown the first 6 years of my boy's life. Even though I am a loving drunk to him, he deserves more than me showering him with beer laced hugs and kisses. I think of the things I can afford to do with him that I have flushed down the toilet since I was blessed with this gift.

Spirit08

I think that's funny! ha

Spirit08

I have been making a living amends to my daughter since the day I put the drink down. She didn't like that I was going to AA meetings every night tho. I had to do it to survive - put my sobriety first before my daughter.