Tapering off and Reality, My story so far.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,896
Thanks for your story. You described very well the horror of trying to taper off.
And the insanity of it. Alcohol is causing the symptoms, but to releive the symptoms, you drink more alcohol. It's a vicious circle I never want to experience again.
And the insanity of it. Alcohol is causing the symptoms, but to releive the symptoms, you drink more alcohol. It's a vicious circle I never want to experience again.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Thanks for the updates...
I did add your first post on tapering to the sticky at the top of this Forum.
It could be very useful to readers and members...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
I did add your first post on tapering to the sticky at the top of this Forum.
It could be very useful to readers and members...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Winter Park, CO
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by awuh1 
Many folks who were able to drink normally in the past have crossed what is often referred to as the “invisible line”. This is where a person loses their power over alcohol. They become unable to control the amount they consume once they have just one drink. I’m not sure where you might be in relation to this invisible line but let me tell you some of my history.
For the longest time I reasoned that I was not an alcoholic. Sure there were lots of times I would drink for days on end, but after getting off the stuff for a few weeks I could have just 1 (sometimes, but only on the first day and not without great effort). The next day found me drinking for sure, and having more than 1. The day after that still more, till I was right back where I had started. Later I could no longer have just a single drink, ever, without it turning into a lot of drinks, and events I could no longer forecast. The question is, when exactly did I turn into an alcoholic? It really does not matter. I know that if I now have a single drink, today, my life will rapidly become unmanageable.
For the longest time I reasoned that I was not an alcoholic. Sure there were lots of times I would drink for days on end, but after getting off the stuff for a few weeks I could have just 1 (sometimes, but only on the first day and not without great effort). The next day found me drinking for sure, and having more than 1. The day after that still more, till I was right back where I had started. Later I could no longer have just a single drink, ever, without it turning into a lot of drinks, and events I could no longer forecast. The question is, when exactly did I turn into an alcoholic? It really does not matter. I know that if I now have a single drink, today, my life will rapidly become unmanageable.
I am determined to stay sober, and have a core group of "real" friends here that I have made very aware of my problem. Programs in this town are pretty much non existent, but with the support of my friends and doctor I think I have a good chance at sobriety. These are friends that if I ask for a beer now will be like "TIE HIM UP". Maybe not that dramatic
but you get the idea.I saw that CarolD, I really am hoping my post helps people. I was reading everything I could to try to self-help myself outta drinking, but it was a nightmare. I was totally determined not to go to a doctor and I just want people to see it doesn't have to be like that. Alot of time on these forums, People just scare people and reply, "GO TO THE DOCTOR NOW, YOUR GONNA DIE!" without anything else to back up the reasoning. It didn't help me to read things like that, and I doubt it helps others. Hence my little documentary here
.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Winter Park, CO
Posts: 18
On other thing Sunday is going great just playing my guitar, no need for any anti anxiety meds for close to 36 hours now.
I just wanted to note I think it very important to keep a journal at this point. I have a written one, as well as the posts here. It's like an open dialogue with myself and re-affirms my goals.
I just wanted to note I think it very important to keep a journal at this point. I have a written one, as well as the posts here. It's like an open dialogue with myself and re-affirms my goals.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 72
I really enjoyed reading this Idol. Very genuine and inspirational. I too, tried to detox myself through tapering which didn't work for me, but led to going to a doctor and, (in my case) rehab and then a halfway house. Your motivation and hope put a smile on my face!
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Well it looks like you are on your way to proving Winslynn (above) wrong. I don’t like the use of fear to motivate people either. It’s no way to live. Those four drunk guys will still be having an AA meeting somewhere if you ever feel you need um. Best of luck, you’re doing great!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sussex, England
Posts: 945
Just read your post properly (not speed reading like before!) its wonderful and will be inspiring to people in the same position. You wrote it so well! I too take a certain drug and have done for my nearly 8 months sober, because, like you, I suffer from crippling anxiety sometimes. I never ever ever abuse it, and also like you, don't always need it. I take about 1/4 of prescribed dose if I go out. My doctor isn't particularly happy about prescribing them, but, as he said, if they keep you from drinking...! Nuff said! When we were in the chat room, I was just about to go to see my Liver Specialist for a 3 month check, so I was scared too... we helped each other on that one Keep giving us the updates and I'll see you back in chat-land soon xxx
Keep giving us the updates and I'll see you back in chat-land soon xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Winter Park, CO
Posts: 18
Calm down, It's just a Dinosaur.
Had my first real stressful situation since starting this journey today. First, I tried to go to the alcohol counseling here in the small town I live in but it's not allowed unless the court has ordered you to go to it. I was blown away. Then literally right after that I ran into the person I was supposed to be moving in with and getting out of my current situation and he has decided to move to Alaska and totally bailed on our living situation.
STRESSSSSS
My friend brought me home and I immediately felt that pull. Shook my head got on my bike and pedaled my butt strait to the town over where my friend works, a couple miles. Crisis averted.
Ready to start Day 7. I'd be lying if I said it gets easier. Day 6 was a bit of drag, I wasn't totally ecstatic because I am not withdrawing. I'm just back to normal. Focusing on working and saving alot of money now so I can just get my own place close to my friends. Responded to an add a block from my best friend hopefully I get it!!!!!!
Didn't take any of the magic pills today, so doing good on the medication side. Just have to keep moving forward, and stay Positive. Yeehaw.
Had my first real stressful situation since starting this journey today. First, I tried to go to the alcohol counseling here in the small town I live in but it's not allowed unless the court has ordered you to go to it. I was blown away. Then literally right after that I ran into the person I was supposed to be moving in with and getting out of my current situation and he has decided to move to Alaska and totally bailed on our living situation.
STRESSSSSS
My friend brought me home and I immediately felt that pull. Shook my head got on my bike and pedaled my butt strait to the town over where my friend works, a couple miles. Crisis averted.
Ready to start Day 7. I'd be lying if I said it gets easier. Day 6 was a bit of drag, I wasn't totally ecstatic because I am not withdrawing. I'm just back to normal. Focusing on working and saving alot of money now so I can just get my own place close to my friends. Responded to an add a block from my best friend hopefully I get it!!!!!!
Didn't take any of the magic pills today, so doing good on the medication side. Just have to keep moving forward, and stay Positive. Yeehaw.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Winter Park, CO
Posts: 18
Alrighty O', I am officially over a week without any drink. Still having trouble sleeping but other than that everything else is really good. I imagine it will take at least a month for my sleep patterns to get back to normal, as I am sure my body is still detoxing.
Getting lots and lots of exercise. Not like go to the gym, just hiking, and riding my bike everywhere I go. No cars, no rides. Feels great. Even though I am sore all over
Getting lots and lots of exercise. Not like go to the gym, just hiking, and riding my bike everywhere I go. No cars, no rides. Feels great. Even though I am sore all over
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Winter Park, CO
Posts: 18
Today Marks two weeks sober. No more medication, and I have finally started sleeping better. No more waking up confused. Cheers!
Riding my bike everywhere and just overall much happier.
Riding my bike everywhere and just overall much happier.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,506
Idol - I just read this for the first time, not sure how I missed it before.
Everyone already said the good stuff - so I'll just say - this is a very encouraging thread filled with hope and humor. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and telling what the ride has been like so far. I'm so glad you saw the light and kicked that junk to the curb.
Everyone already said the good stuff - so I'll just say - this is a very encouraging thread filled with hope and humor. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and telling what the ride has been like so far. I'm so glad you saw the light and kicked that junk to the curb.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Winter Park, CO
Posts: 18
So I just realized tomorrow is 1 month of Sobriety for me and it actually falls on my Birthday!!!!! Very cool coincidence.
It's still a challenge but each day it gets easier and the triggers have less power. I did face my first real challenge a week ago when I went with my social group (best friends) to the Denverl Aquarium. We live in a small mountain town an hour from Denver so this was a big day of fun for us. It was a super fun day but at the end of the aquarium there was a bar we sat at and they each had a beer and my best friend had a martini. This is the typical situation I would ussually order a shot and a beer at the same time, to get my buzz going and then continue to drink. That was the old me. The new me had a Perrier w'lime which was nice, but I could definitely feel the old triggers telling me to PARTTTTYYYYY. Made it through, and my friends wouldn't have let me order a drink anyhow, so that was nice to know. Then we went out to a nice dinner and the triggers of being on a FUN DAY peeped up again, after about five minutes my brain shut up and I made my glorious plate of amazing mongolian grilled goodness. Food is so amazing now btw! So all in all I had a great day, maintained my sobriety and still feel good about moving forward.
For anyone reading this that is getting started on being sober, I want to be clear it is still a challenge to stay sober. I believe it is very important to maintain the mentality that I cannot have a drink. It is that little devil that pops up on your shoulder that says you can, and he will. You just have to say no to him. It even helps me to deny the craving out loud.
Sobriety is awesome and we can all do it, no matter how impossible it may seem.
And all my homies from chat, I recently moved and I don't have any internetz yet but as soon as I do I will be back to make things goofy again!
It's still a challenge but each day it gets easier and the triggers have less power. I did face my first real challenge a week ago when I went with my social group (best friends) to the Denverl Aquarium. We live in a small mountain town an hour from Denver so this was a big day of fun for us. It was a super fun day but at the end of the aquarium there was a bar we sat at and they each had a beer and my best friend had a martini. This is the typical situation I would ussually order a shot and a beer at the same time, to get my buzz going and then continue to drink. That was the old me. The new me had a Perrier w'lime which was nice, but I could definitely feel the old triggers telling me to PARTTTTYYYYY. Made it through, and my friends wouldn't have let me order a drink anyhow, so that was nice to know. Then we went out to a nice dinner and the triggers of being on a FUN DAY peeped up again, after about five minutes my brain shut up and I made my glorious plate of amazing mongolian grilled goodness. Food is so amazing now btw! So all in all I had a great day, maintained my sobriety and still feel good about moving forward.
For anyone reading this that is getting started on being sober, I want to be clear it is still a challenge to stay sober. I believe it is very important to maintain the mentality that I cannot have a drink. It is that little devil that pops up on your shoulder that says you can, and he will. You just have to say no to him. It even helps me to deny the craving out loud.
Sobriety is awesome and we can all do it, no matter how impossible it may seem.
And all my homies from chat, I recently moved and I don't have any internetz yet but as soon as I do I will be back to make things goofy again!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 7
I just read this. A little late. But just wanted to say great job. Truly inspired me. Just started going sober yesterday, and its been complete hell. Shaking and not being able to eat with vomiting too. Thought this morning i was gonna die, but this scare was a huge eye opener. I cant wait for these next days to go by so i can hopefully start feeling normal again. I never wanna touch a drop of booze again. And thinking about finding AA around me or something. Gonna stay strong and actually go through with being sober for once.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
Welcome to SR jackit
Like I said to the OP way back in the start of this thread, I think medical assistance is the best way to go, especially if you feel so ill...
Feel free to start your own thread - you'll get more responses that way
D
Like I said to the OP way back in the start of this thread, I think medical assistance is the best way to go, especially if you feel so ill...
Feel free to start your own thread - you'll get more responses that way
D
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