stratoc

Hi guys, havn't been here for years. I quit about 8 or 9 years ago. I just turned 44 and my life still seems on hold, of course it's not the crazy head down the toilet spending most of the day crying hold!
It is (my life) however pretty non existant, and I'm not 100% sure I want that to change. In search of why I am so shy sober I have been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome so I have problems reading other people, I just thought I was shy, it also means I like routine and my life has become one huge routine, work, home, pc, bed, same time same food, it makes me feel safe.
But I have been like this for nearly 10 years and feel I'm just letting my life slide away. I would be dead now if I hadn't stopped and suffer with a few drink related problems, my pancreas is just about working.
Like I said I'm not sure I want my life to change, just feeling a little down and lonely and wanted to tell someone I guess!
Hope everyone is well.

bayliss

We're all hear to listen.
I just wanted to say congratulations on your sobriety, that is very inspiring for someone like me that just quit.

I understand that routine feels safe...I did the same thing when I was drinking too...maybe try adding little things here and there into the mix? Try taking a class? Trying something new? Plan a trip somewhere...

I'm not very good at giving advice but wanted to let you know that I'm here to listen if you need to vent some more!

stratoc

Just noticed my sobriety date on here is 2006 so it's only 6 years, I thought it was longer! I don't really know why I stopped, I had no intntion of doing so, I was told at 25 I wouldn't see my next birthday, all my friends had given up on me so nobody was nagging. I just woke up one morning and thought anythings better than this. And that was my last drink, stopping nearly killed me, I went thought a very very ill month, and I remember that month and never wanting to feel that way again, that kept me sober for six months and then I just never wanted to go back. I still crave, my mind plays tricks, bad memories blocked rosy beer garden memories remain, but my sponsor warned me this happened so I ignore them.
If you just quit, well done and you have the 'honeymoon' period to look forward too
When I got better I was very happy for about 18 months it was really nice.
When things got tough for me I just changed my thinking to 'I just want drink today' or even 'I just wont drink for an hour' and then found something to keep me busy.
Don't mind me I'm just having a bad day, drying out is easily the best thing that ever happened to me.
I wish you all the best and thank you for your reply.
Strat.

bayliss

Hey Strat,

Thanks for sharing even more.
We all have some bad days...even bad weeks or months! Are you concerned that you have fallen into a depression?
If so, would going to the doctor maybe be an option?

Sorry to hear that the first month of your sobriety was a tough one, but you stuck it out and that is amazing. 6 years is still amazing!

When you say things got tough for you, do you mean in general? Life...or specific things that happened?
I am worried about how I will cope in the future with problems. Right now I am laying low (I am on day 3) and trying to avoid confrontation or any issues like that.

What is the 'honeymoon' period? Never heard anyone refer to that and I am kinda liking the sound of it. Lol.

I think for people that have issues with alcohol, sobriety really is the way to go...I still have a lot to learn and I am doing all my research as often as I can..but I have realized that if I keep doing what I am doing then I will never be happy...and I will waste away my life.

Sorry for my little bit of rambling there. :P

stratoc

It was explained to me as follows: When you spend years drunk your emotions get all surpressed. When you stop they all spring into overdrive!
Not always good, that's why they don't advise relationships in the early days, because all the emotions make you feel you're on a rollercoaster!
The month after I stopped I was very ill, I was fine until day 5 and my body went into some kind of shock, I was in hospital for a few days.
By tough I just meant the craving got strong, you can never let your guard down but I think it gets easier the further your drinking days are behind you (if that makes sense)
My first year sober was very nice I found myslef enjoying things I had forgotten, simple things like sunny days, and how good you feel after doing even the simplest of favors for others or sorting out a problem you have been sweeping under a carpet for a while.

sugarbear1

I don't know the origin of dry drunk, but I hear it a lot in AA. I assume it's a person who has stopped drinking, but who hasn't changed their behavior, which is what AA's intent is. For us to see our own behavior and how we effect others. When we change, as a result of working the 12 steps into our lives, we do change the way we behave and think. When we stop drinking and do not work the steps, there is no real change that takes place. We still blame others for our behavior and we are still self-centered and act as if we are drunk.

I may be wrong about my take on this.

Do you work a program of recovery? I would assume that people who use AVRT somehow have changes in their behavior, too, but I may be wrong again and AVRT may just be about our view on not drinking alcohol any more.

Best wishes and welcome back!

awuh1

Sounds like you had a sponsor enjoyed helping people etc. and are a bit lonely now. I’m wondering if a few AA meetings might do you some good.

stratoc

I did the steps, and my thinking is quite healthy, I sometimes get angry as I'm a little short fused and, like everyone else, have a stressful job with more and more piled on me with less and less resources to deal with it. That however is just a job.
I just find being social without wearing a mask (which I do at work) very clumsy and awkward.
I always try to put others before myself simply because it makes me feel better.

Lilmssunshine

Hey Great job on your sobriety! As far as the Aspergers goes...have you attended support groups for Aspergers? They may be of some help to you. My sister has Aspergers as well. So I understand the routines. A psychologist may be able to help you read people better and to open up more. Thank you for sharing, your sobriety is an inspiration to us.

soberlicious

Hi Stratoc Have you connected with others diagnosed with AS? There is nothing wrong with finding comfort in routine and structure and I know this is often common among those with Aspergers, but if you feel like there are things you want to change then maybe you want to explore ways to step a little out of the comfort zone and recapture some of the joys you experienced when you first quit drinking. Change involves risk...but don't let that stop you. You are fully capable of making any changes in your life you wish. Know it.

CarolD

Congratulations and Welcome back to SR....

I too like order and routine in my life....and do not consider
that is being a dry drunk....

How about finding a newcomer to share with ...ask him to join you for coffee or a movie after a meeting?
.