mercurial me

I don't what it is. For some reason this time of the year I always feel like I'm going into a tailspin. I know Christmas & December is especially hard for alcoholics. I've just noticed these last few years that for some reason every April I feel more depressed and have mood swings.

Just a random post/thread. Stay sober all

ReadyAndAble

Hey, Merc! Good to see you.

This is my good time of year—I look forward to the warmer weather, long lazy holiday weekends, that sort of thing. Fall is kind of just eh for me; those months just make me nostalgic for summer... and I don't enjoy nostalgia.

How are you doing otherwise?

ReadyAndAble

Tax time though—that part's not always fun for me, civic duty or not.

Dee74

not me - but it's a different season here.
so you're doing ok considering MM?

D

mercurial me

Yes, tax time. I was fortunate to get a healthy refund. I'm hanging in. On a regiment of non-alcoholic beer & librium. Getting close to the one year anniversary of my suicide attempt (it didn't take, obviously). Other than that, looking forward to warmer weather.

winslynn

Up North there are many sobriety dates in April and May.The Spring up North can be depressingly cold and the early bloom of that January sobriety wears off After you've been in AA for a year or so and done the step work this all goes away.

Cheers,Steve

Taking5

No. I'm an alcoholic. When I was actively drinking every day was St Paddy's Day, Super Bowl Sunday, New Year's Eve, July 4th and Mardi Gras rolled into one.

FenwayFaithful

Spring is hard for me too for specific/personal reasons. I think we all have different times that are hard for us. For different reasons. For me I'm a baby in my sober time so EVERY DAY is still a struggle for me. I haven't really had a month that has been easy for me, but some are harder than others. I think if you associate this with a bad time in your life, like your attempted suicide it makes perfect sense that you would struggle at this time. Stay strong tho. Take it one day at a time. Take it from someone who blew 8 months of sobriety last night for what may have been an...understandable (for lack of a better word) reason. It makes you feel worse. Stay strong and stay sober.

TheOnlyDryPaddy

Do your "down" moods always occur at this time of year?

Do you feel "down" for most for most of the day?

Do you feel "down" almost every day?

Do you feel "down" for more than two weeks at a time?

Even if you associate this time of year with a traumatic event, the frequency and duration of your moods may indicate a major depressive episode. You should mention how you feel to your doctor.

Threshold

April is the month with the highest suicide rate. Some theorize it it due to the longer Spring days, people get a little more energy and suicidal types use it to take the plunge.

Sort of like when depressed folk go on meds and need to be watched carefully at first to see that their new bit of energy isn't put to destructive use.

Some also think that it is a reaction to Spring, new life and still being depressed and it seeming more depressing than ever.

anyway, just sharing some info on that subject

Sally1009

Spring can affect me negatively too, for the following reasons:
1. My Dad died in June
2. I still need to lose weight
3. The sun illuminates all the dusty, grimy areas in my house!
Other than that it is a lovely season!

LoftyIdeals

My temperament is definitely seasonal, but this spring has been up rather than down. I think it's because of the dry, sunny, warm days. Last year was a depressing nightmare, mostly because I spent a sunny week in Fla at the end of Feb, expecting it to be nicer real soon when I got back to teh midwest, but it was a rainy mess for the next several months.

I need sunshine, and have been told I have seasonal affective disorder, SAD, or winter blues. I believe it, and got a light that helps this past winter.

FF...sorry to hear about your night last night. I hope you'll jump right back on the horse and continue the ride. I have seen quite a few folks jump off the wagon in the last month. I know I could do the same, but I don't know I could get back on, so I'm not gonna risk it. I did that enough for 30 yrs.

babycat

I have the opposite problem. When it is warm and nice, I get all happy and want to sit outside and drink.

CarolD

No MM....I've not noticed any seasonal ups and downs
Sorry to know yoou are distressed.

Try making a Gratitude list each day...it helps me keep in balance..

desertsong

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, MM. I haven't noticed a difference for myself (I'm actually happier because the weather is warming up and I can get out with my horses more), but I have heard that this time of year is when a lot of people relapse. So you're definitely not alone with how you're feeling. Hang in there. I like Carol's suggestion of a gratitude list. I also keep a "successes" list. I have a notebook next to my bed, and each night before I go to sleep, I write down 3 successes I've had (even the smallest ones, like getting little chores done around the house) as well as 3 things I'm grateful for (even something as simple as enjoying a Starbucks frappuccino during a break in my day). They add up over time and really change my perspective. The successes help to build my self confidence and self esteem, and the gratitudes remind me of how fortunate I am in so many ways. Then I can go to sleep each night feeling good and wake up looking forward to having more things to write in my notebook at the end of the day.

I hope we are of some help here at SR. This is always a great place to come when you're not feeling at your best.

sugarbear1

like Dgillz, every day was a holiday or reason to drink and the holidays were lonely, so I down-played them a whole lot.

I love Spring.

I'll have to take a good look and listen to others right now, though.

Take it easy!

aussieblue

Hi Merc, sorry your feeling this ,I'm at the opposite pole to you but I just blew 9 months I have found April to be very hard.
Maybe that one year anniversary is messing with your mind. I hope you can stay strong.