Challenged1

I'm on day 19 and I must thank all of you here on this forum
I may not post often, but I spend many of my waking hours each and everyday on SR being inspired, relating, learning, feeling empathy,and most of all.....NOT drinking.
I want to go to an AA meeting while my daughter is in school, today it is a closed meeting which reads for people that have the desire to quit drinking. Is that really the only requirement? Would I need to share or can I listen quietly?
Also, is it standard to introduce myself as an "alcoholic" or could I say I have a drinking problem or I am a problem drinker? I know this all sounds so petty, but I am a clueless newbie to AA

desertsong

DO you have a desire to quit drinking? I guess that's really the question.

I've seen people come into meetings and not introduce themselves as an "alcoholic" but along these lines, "I'm DesertSong and I think I may have a drinking problem." If you're called upon to share and you don't want to, you can simply say, "I'll just listen today." You won't be forced to share if you don't want to.

SOBERINNEPA

In the groups I attend, "the desire to quit drinking" is taken seriously and it's the ONLY criteria.

You don'y have to speak, or introduce yourself, but don't be put off if someone comes over and shakes your hand, introducing themselves. They're trying to make the newcomer feel welcome.

All meetings vary. I've been lucky enough to find a couple I really enjoy and hit them every week.

Best wishes.

Challenged1

I sure do desertsong. I'm unsure of the difference between an open or closed meeting. Closed meaning a private group that may not welcome newcomers? That's my imagination as I have no AA experience. I believe the open meeting reads the same.
I tend to over think the unknown.

Sapling

Meetings may be "Open" (to anyone) or "Closed"(for alcoholics only). Many groups pay no attention to this distinction, and it is not uncommon for regular participants in a meeting to be uncertain whether their meeting is officially open or closed. Family and friends of the alcoholic, along with observers and students of various kinds are welcome at the open meetings. Closed meetings are reserved for those who consider themselves to be alcoholics or who are investigating that possibility for themselves. Newcomers are always welcome at closed meetings regardless of whether they have made up their minds about themselves.

Source...And a good site for you to check out.

Your First AA Meeting<

SOBERINNEPA

I've heard of people being asked to leave closed meetings who were not alcoholics. In at least one case it was a little kid and mom, apparently, didn't have child care. Kind of a bogus move, in my opinion, but sometimes people like to prove what masterful parliamentarians they are. It's a matter of group conscience, so the kid goes. I'm betting mom didn;t make a return to that group, though.

As far as conent goes, once the meeting's opened, I can't tell an open from a closed meeting. I think the distinction has faded since the stigma of being in a 12 Step group has, somewhat, abated.

Challenged1

Thank you SOBERINNEPA. I would embrace people wanting me to feel welcome, wouldn't be put off one bit. Maybe my sharing question made me sound closed off, but was really intended for the first meeting as I learn how the program works. I'm looking forward to face to face interaction and participation

awuh1

I would add that you need only say "I have a desire not to drink" at a closed meeting, in order to stay and listen. I have seen parents bring children to meetings and have them say that exact thing (to the consternation of the parliamentarians).

Challenged1

Thanks for the link Sapling...very very helpful

Zube

I like the closed meetings. Most of our open meetings are court orders, and many of the court oders fully admit that they don't have a desire to stop drinking. That doesn't help my sobriety.

I'm not saying all open meetings are like this. But mine are.

Remember, if you go today, you will never have to go for your first AA meeting ever again. Don't let any of us fool you. We were all scared as hell the frst time we walked through the doors of AA. Funny now, looking back. AA saved my life.

Good luck,
Zube

cfm

The only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking. That's it, period.
It is strongly suggested that you say nothing.

Sally1009

I don't think there are any rules about NOT sharing at your first meeting, or even suggestions. In my meetings the newcomer can choose to speak or remain silent - there's no pressure either way...

Hollyanne

Hi Challenged,
Well done on 19 days!
Let us know how you got on.

There was a lady at my meeting last night who kept commenting on things.
She would just make little comments or sigh loudly, like she understood where the speaker was at etc.
When a man said that AA works if you give it an honest try, she exclaimed loudly, "I hope so!".
When asked to share, she said she was new, at her first meeting and had nothing to say as she just wanted to listen.
I, and another girl took her home. She is coming back on Tuesday night.
The newcomer is very important.
We are privileged to give to her, what was so freely given to us.
She asked us about the format. We explained as best we could.
The brilliant thing is she was blessed enough to realize she needs to quit drinking and was seeking help.
I hope you, and my new friend get the support and help you deserve.
Anne

Challenged1

Thanks for all your replies and support Hollyanne, what you did for the newcomer at the meeting really touched my heart and surely hers as well.
I did go to an open meeting yesterday. There were probably under 20 people with long pauses between shares, some shared twice. So I decided to introduce myself and share a brief bit, 20 days sober, my challenges with and without alcohol. I kept it short and sweet. I was given a very warm welcome. Towards the end of the meeting, an elderly gentleman said to me "you know you need to get a sponser and right away". I let him know that I had been reading about that. After the meeting another woman came up to me and asked me to come back, gave me some pamplets along with another fellow, who gave me a list of womens phone numbers and email addresses.
So, all went well and I will continue to go and try other meetings as well. There were only five woman, including myself at this meeting.
Again, thanks for the encouragement~it got me to a meeting

SOBERINNEPA

Congratulations!

Sponsorship can be very rewarding but don't be afraid to progress at your own pace. It's YOUR recovery. I'm leery when anyone tells me I NEED to do something.

CarolD

Here is a good link with facts for you....I'm pleased you did go....

Your First AA Meeting<

Well done on your sober time....