BlueEyedBoy

As some of you may know I am new into sobreity (day 3!) after several relapses and a suicide attempt. I am currently at my parents, who finally found out about my alcoholism and are being amazingly supportive. I don't want to drink but I still felt really depressed today. So I went for a nice long bath and decided to pick up the Big Book and read it in there (I have a habit of reading in the bath). I tried reading the beginning of the book but it wasn't sinking in. So I flipped to the stories in the back. One really stood out. 'A.A. taught him to handle sobreity'. Reading it brought such tears to my eyes as it resonated to much with me. I am not saying all my problems are solved- gosh I know I have the most difficult period of my life standing before me as I start some medical intervention and support, but I just 'connected' with something that another person has felt. It felt amazing...and I feel a bit like perhaps it was a little sign from my Higher Power as it was random I picked that story.

Alcoholism won't beat me! I don't want to stop drinking....I want to live sober. LIVE.

Gottalife

BEB, I was the same age as you when I got sober and I had the same trouble as you with the book. I think it was because I had no experience of the concepts and feelings discussed (Other than the negative ones like fear) but words like tolerance, love, forgiveness, joy, happiness, freedom, were words I sort of understood in an academic way, but I had no idea what they felt like. I read the book like a novel, but didn't take anything in at a "gut level". I found that I needed the help of a sponsor to work through the book (first 164 pages) with me and explain things as we went.
In the mean time there was a book "Living Sober" which brought things down to a very simple level for me on how to get through each of those early days. It was a huge help and I was able to follow the simple ideas it contains.

hypochondriac

That connection is so important to us humans I think it's why we're all here. It's really important to be 'surrounded' by people who know what you're going through.

Btw, congratulations on day 3 x

DayTrader

It WASN'T random.

You stick around and keep walking the spiritual path......you're about to see some crazy consistent "randomness" that happens over and over and over and over.



It keeps getting better!

candie

I'm also on day 3, and a fellow Northerner.Have you been to any AA meetings yet?:

sugarbear1

I also read the stories to relate in.

stay strong! stay sober!

BlueEyedBoy

Gotalife- it is nice to know people my age really can get sober and spare themselves further years of misery. I know what you mean about reading the book like a novel and perhaps not having the depths of experience to connect. I got the 12 x 12 book too which helps, and I have a sponsor who is really great. I think though my engagement with the steps recently has been academic rather than spiritual, and when I am well enough to meet my sponsor she is going to go over that with me. To help me stop seeing it as a textbook and instead a living tool of recovery.

Hypocondriac- thanks for the congrats!

DayTrader- I am starting to realise there are no random things with sobreity. I really do feel it can get better, because a few days ago it felt like there was nothing in my life at all. But today I feel a little better.

Candie- where abouts are you? I live in Manchester but I am originally from the North West. I have been in AA for 3 months. I am going to be going to as many as I can when I get back from my parents.

BlueEyedBoy

I will give it my best, and when that's not enough reach out to those people who can support me

candie

Preston Lancs

BlueEyedBoy

Cool, I was originally from Burnley

candie

That's where my best mate is from!!What a small world it is

sugarbear1

The book Alcoholics Anonymous is a textbook to be studied and read over and over.

The program (steps) are to be experienced, not analyzed; at least not analyzed until after you've experienced a profound change as a result of working the steps and working them into your daily life!

You have gifts that you don't yet know you possess!

You are doing quite well!! Keep moving forward and stay stopped!

I wish you well!