rws177

I'm 28 and had tried to quit soooo many times in the past. I know that quilt and shame of my last relapse all to well. I'm 13 months sober or so and happy that I don't ever have to feel that way again. 110 days is great and already a good distance away from your last drink!

least

I quit many times until I 'got it right'.

bmwcycle

Same here, I do not count days or celebrate "sober birthdays" I just do not drink anymore.


Best of luck Fatty!!!

Love the name BTW

langkah

On average I'd decide firmly to quit drinking forever and ever about 3x each month through the last 9 years of my drinking. Sometimes I'd make it a few weeks or some months before drinking again, and I had periods where I'd drink once a week, other periods 2x a week.

Those not drinking blips were after some kind of drinking disaster when I'd learned my lesson and was finally turning over another brand new leaf that would change things.

I'd often pretend I was sober after I'd started up again, but 'I'm not one of those who can easily hide' and people close soon knew.

Knew a guy, the father of a girlfriend who stopped cold on his own for 5 years. A powerful individual who needed no help from anyone. I wanted to be like him and be able to turn it off like that. After proving he could stop so very well and was in full control he had another drink and drank himself to death in less than 6 years, unable to stop again.

So, the number doesn't mean much. He quit once. Quitting didn't turn out to be worth spit as an answer for him, but it made him feel he was special and powerful for a while.

I did the AA thing which removes the problem, so the fight and temptations and sense of missing out are not part of it. I don't feel like I quit in '82, instead the hole at my core which I used to have to fill with alcohol periodically to get by never is empty, so I feel no press of need to fill it up temporarily with booze.

Terminally Unique

There is a difference between quitting and merely stopping. Why do you think people usually talk about a desire to stop (but not quit) drinking? It's because stopping doesn't scare anyone. We all stop at stop signs, only to start up again. I stopped drinking countless times, but eventually, I stopped stopping, and quit.

BackToSquareOne

I couldn't even estimate the number of times I said the words "never again" over the decades. In the past it was more about not wanting to be sick than it was about being sober for the rest of my life. The idea of a life with no escape hatch seemed like an odd concept. The greatest gifts sobriety has given me are a much quieter mind, the ability to live in the present and the acceptance that what is, is and that's OK.

BobbyJ

Im from the Alanon side and hoping you can help me with this question.

My xah has been a heavy drinker for most of his adult life. The last couple of years he went from a 5th every couple of days to a 1/2 of a gallon everyday to every 2 days...Alterated between whiskey to vodka.

Last year he went to a 28 day rehab. That failed. Continued to drink for the last year and is currently in a 90 day rehab center now. Only one week left to go.

I talked to him once when he was 60 days sober. Then I talked to him last night at almost 90 days sober.

Last night, I could not believe the change. It was not a good change. It seemed like his condition/attitude got worse. He seemed more confussed than ever. Very depressed.

He said he had a job when he got out. But I asked him when he had the interview. He said that he has the application, but hasnt sent it in yet. But swears they are going to start him at $50-$100 per hour. He seemed pretty confident that he has the job.

He said the center wants him to stay there an extra 30 days to help with newcomers, so he might do that.

I thought the "fog" was suppose to be lifted around 30/60 days.

I was just shocked that he sounded so lost and confussed. I have never heard him like that. He never even sounded that lost when he was drunk.

Ive had alot of anger, for the things that he has done to me and my family and the position that he up & left us in. But I will be honest, after last nights phone call. I literally sat there and balwed my eyes out. I will never get back with him, but I would still love to see him sober and learn to enjoy life and embrace his recovery.

I know your not doctors that can view his brain, but I would like to know, if this can be normal for some alcoholics, without calling it "wet brain"

PS: Thanks for letting me jump over on this side and ask for your help!
Hope everyone has a great day!!

Terminally Unique

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thisisme

Once. Never relapsed.

Charon

How many times did I quit. Probably somewhere near a hundred, maybe more. I drank for more than 44 years. How many times did I succeed - only the last time, and only as long as I stay stopped. It's a tough row to hoe, but well worth it.

Justfor1

Bobbyj, the sad reality that for some alcoholics when they get finally get sober, a mental illness surfaces or a already mental illness gets worse. The good thing though is that he is sober & is now able to address the other issues. This happens more often than people think.

InsertNameHere

I recently passed 30 days and no where near have my life figured out yet just that one big piece that was hampering me figuring everything else out. I can't speak for him but there have been days where I felt just bad, sad, and indifferent to almost everything. There have been suicidal thoughts feeling of worthlessness, confusion, bad memory all that jazz. I am hoping it will at least somewhat go away in the next couple of months but if it dosen't then maybe I will have to make some other drastic changes in my life. Perhaps he is in the same boat.

As far as how many time i have quit; I didn't think i had a problem until shortly before I found SR, I don't know how many times during the four months that I was working everything out, seeking advice and telling everyone my thoughts that I stopped for a day or two or perhaps even a week (that was only a couple of times). It took from November to March of me drinking a few days and nto drinking a few days before I was able to finally quit. Before realizing that I had a problem I did have three 6-7 month streaches of sobriety but that was not because I wanted to that was because I was in a place that alcohol was literally unavailable, it did not exist, so I don't count that. During those times I didn't have a problem but I had never quit, I knew the moment I was back to civilization I would be able to drink again, and I did every time.