Being a Sponsor ?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Elgin
Posts: 4
I have been in AA for 3 years in that time ive been drunk over and over again, I had a sponsor who was 20 years sober, but became more of a mother than a sponsor, and also had a sponsor who was 13 years sober, again I was not given the information out of the book.
So I reached a point where i wanted to die, drinking had brought me to my knees and I couldn't bear living with my own head. So I phoned a girl in AA who had something I wanted ( to be comfortable in my own skin) I didn't care how long she had been sober, I just knew she had had a spiritual awakening as a result of the 12 steps.
She took me to her house where me and young son stayed and immediately got into the Big Book. Within 2 weeks I had been through the steps, made my amends and was practicing the princinple in all my affairs.
I am now 4 months sober and I sponsor 3 women.
My Big Book sais " Carry this message to alcoholics!
It does not say: wait a year or two, then help others.
I had to go through the steps rapidy as my life was on the line, I did not have time to waste looking for the perfect sponsor.
My life today is wonderfull, the miracles that have happen already are awesome. If that women had not helped that day, I might not be here to tell my story.
For that Ill be forever gratefull x
So I reached a point where i wanted to die, drinking had brought me to my knees and I couldn't bear living with my own head. So I phoned a girl in AA who had something I wanted ( to be comfortable in my own skin) I didn't care how long she had been sober, I just knew she had had a spiritual awakening as a result of the 12 steps.
She took me to her house where me and young son stayed and immediately got into the Big Book. Within 2 weeks I had been through the steps, made my amends and was practicing the princinple in all my affairs.
I am now 4 months sober and I sponsor 3 women.
My Big Book sais " Carry this message to alcoholics!
It does not say: wait a year or two, then help others.
I had to go through the steps rapidy as my life was on the line, I did not have time to waste looking for the perfect sponsor.
My life today is wonderfull, the miracles that have happen already are awesome. If that women had not helped that day, I might not be here to tell my story.
For that Ill be forever gratefull x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 133
Originally Posted by sherees 
I have been in AA for 3 years in that time ive been drunk over and over again, I had a sponsor who was 20 years sober, but became more of a mother than a sponsor, and also had a sponsor who was 13 years sober, again I was not given the information out of the book.
So I reached a point where i wanted to die, drinking had brought me to my knees and I couldn't bear living with my own head. So I phoned a girl in AA who had something I wanted ( to be comfortable in my own skin) I didn't care how long she had been sober, I just knew she had had a spiritual awakening as a result of the 12 steps.
She took me to her house where me and young son stayed and immediately got into the Big Book. Within 2 weeks I had been through the steps, made my amends and was practicing the princinple in all my affairs.
I am now 4 months sober and I sponsor 3 women.
My Big Book sais " Carry this message to alcoholics!
It does not say: wait a year or two, then help others.
I had to go through the steps rapidy as my life was on the line, I did not have time to waste looking for the perfect sponsor.
My life today is wonderfull, the miracles that have happen already are awesome. If that women had not helped that day, I might not be here to tell my story.
For that Ill be forever gratefull x
So I reached a point where i wanted to die, drinking had brought me to my knees and I couldn't bear living with my own head. So I phoned a girl in AA who had something I wanted ( to be comfortable in my own skin) I didn't care how long she had been sober, I just knew she had had a spiritual awakening as a result of the 12 steps.
She took me to her house where me and young son stayed and immediately got into the Big Book. Within 2 weeks I had been through the steps, made my amends and was practicing the princinple in all my affairs.
I am now 4 months sober and I sponsor 3 women.
My Big Book sais " Carry this message to alcoholics!
It does not say: wait a year or two, then help others.
I had to go through the steps rapidy as my life was on the line, I did not have time to waste looking for the perfect sponsor.
My life today is wonderfull, the miracles that have happen already are awesome. If that women had not helped that day, I might not be here to tell my story.
For that Ill be forever gratefull x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
Originally Posted by Sally1009
Charmie: my opinions ARE based on experience. I knew someone who had taken a sponsee at six months, to everyone's alarm here in the westcountry. She was Mrs AA, daily meetings, service. She was on fire. She had a massive relapse two weeks after taking on her sponsee, and is still drinking..her sponsee relapsed also.
All I'm saying is that sometimes people want to rush things - it's the alcoholic mentality. One CAN be on a pink cloud in early sobriety; I've been on it myself, and fallen off hard. I certainly wouldn't have been ready to take on sponsees at 3 months sober. There are plenty of other ways we can " work with others ".
Easy Does It, as they say in AA.
Maybe your sponsee will be ok, but I think most people in the meetings I go to would find that an exception. Most people wouldnt have enough time to do the steps in three months, let alone take on sponsering others.
All I'm saying is that sometimes people want to rush things - it's the alcoholic mentality. One CAN be on a pink cloud in early sobriety; I've been on it myself, and fallen off hard. I certainly wouldn't have been ready to take on sponsees at 3 months sober. There are plenty of other ways we can " work with others ".
Easy Does It, as they say in AA.
Maybe your sponsee will be ok, but I think most people in the meetings I go to would find that an exception. Most people wouldnt have enough time to do the steps in three months, let alone take on sponsering others.
so thats your experience...mine is very different...you see my life depends on helping others...it is my primary purpose...the 12 step.
easy does it is a slogan they use in the rooms but is actually from the chapter "the family afterward" not the 12 step program...God shows me when to take it easy...i will have a shift taken out of my work pattern...or something will get cancelled that im not supposed to be at and at home resting instead....but if God puts a drunk in front of me and they need help im there...its payback for what has been given to me...its my end of the deal...NO CHOICE...the outcomes are not up to me either...thats all in His capable hands....its not down to me if someone gets sober of if they go back out....what is my responsibilty is to be properly armed with the facts about myself...know where the steps are in the big book and show a sponsee how to carry out the actions just as i did to recover...and thats what my girls do....its not rocket science....it doesnt have to be a perpertual round of going in and out the doors.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
Originally Posted by shaun00
Oh that don't sound like a pink cloud sherees , whatever a pink cloud is .
Maybe that's a spiritual awaken as a result of the steps .
Maybe that's a spiritual awaken as a result of the steps .
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Elgin
Posts: 4
thankyou shaun and no its not a pink clowd im on. I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps.Page 89 of the Big Book sais "This is our twelfth step suggestion: Carry this message to alcoholics!
I ask God every morning how I can be of maximum service and how I can help others and my fellows. If an alcoholic is in need of help, I try my best to carry the message that was so freely given to me.
I ask God every morning how I can be of maximum service and how I can help others and my fellows. If an alcoholic is in need of help, I try my best to carry the message that was so freely given to me.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
Originally Posted by sherees
thankyou shaun and no its not a pink clowd im on. I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps.Page 89 of the Big Book sais "This is our twelfth step suggestion: Carry this message to alcoholics!
I ask God every morning how I can be of maximum service and how I can help others and my fellows. If an alcoholic is in need of help, I try my best to carry the message that was so freely given to me.
I ask God every morning how I can be of maximum service and how I can help others and my fellows. If an alcoholic is in need of help, I try my best to carry the message that was so freely given to me.
crack on girl.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by shaun00
Oh that don't sound like a pink cloud sherees , whatever a pink cloud is .
Maybe that's a spiritual awaken as a result of the steps .
Maybe that's a spiritual awaken as a result of the steps .
I had it happen around 3 or 4 months clean and sober. Shortly afterwards I did my inventory.......that grounded me.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by sherees
thankyou shaun and no its not a pink clowd im on. I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps.Page 89 of the Big Book sais "This is our twelfth step suggestion: Carry this message to alcoholics!
"Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives."
Now - does that sound like a pink cloud? I have experienced it hundreds of times, even when I fail to keep anyone sober.
Gone In
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by Spawn
The pink cloud is that high some feel when they think their alcoholism is cured.
I had it happen around 3 or 4 months clean and sober. Shortly afterwards I did my inventory.......that grounded me.
I had it happen around 3 or 4 months clean and sober. Shortly afterwards I did my inventory.......that grounded me.
After you quit drinking, your brain has to find an equilibrium again with the production of these chemicals.
At first it over produces them (You feel great, problem solved eg 'pink cloud')
Then it over compensates and underproduces them (You feel low again, why am I doing this etc 'the wall')
Then they swing up and down twoard equilibrium (good days and bad days)
Then equilibrium (your 'new normal')
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Charmie
...the outcomes are not up to me either...thats all in His capable hands....its not down to me if someone gets sober of if they go back out...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Cleveland Ohio
Posts: 133
Originally Posted by sherees
thankyou shaun and no its not a pink clowd im on. I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of the steps.Page 89 of the Big Book sais "This is our twelfth step suggestion: Carry this message to alcoholics!
I ask God every morning how I can be of maximum service and how I can help others and my fellows. If an alcoholic is in need of help, I try my best to carry the message that was so freely given to me.
I ask God every morning how I can be of maximum service and how I can help others and my fellows. If an alcoholic is in need of help, I try my best to carry the message that was so freely given to me.
Just keep doin it. I want you to think about something. Bill W. referred to Ebby as his sponsor until the day both of them died. But wait, Ebby kept on getting drunk all the time. True, Ebby died with 6 yrs sober, but that was only because they shipped him to Texas near the end of his life and a group babysat him for the good of the fellowship. So back to the question, How can you have a sponsor who's always getting drunk???.............Easy, a sponsor has many jobs as you will learn, however Ebby fulfilled the #1 job. He was the man who brought Bill HOPE! H O P E!!!!!...............The #1 job of a sponsor is to impart hope. Ebby was the guy who said "Bill you don't have to live this way. Iv'e found a way out!........That's hope................My sponsors been sober 37 yrs, and if he got drunk tomorrow he'd still be my sponsor. Because he is the man who brought me hope a long time ago. The fact that he got drunk would be irrelavent....Just keep doin what your doin.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by BASEjumper
I'm reminded of a lecture I heard once about the stages of recovery. It was about how as you drink alcohol it stimulates the production of chemicals in your brain that make you feel good. When you drink heavily/regularly, your brain stops producing them naturally as it's getting them from the alcohol.
After you quit drinking, your brain has to find an equilibrium again with the production of these chemicals.
At first it over produces them (You feel great, problem solved eg 'pink cloud')
Then it over compensates and underproduces them (You feel low again, why am I doing this etc 'the wall')
Then they swing up and down twoard equilibrium (good days and bad days)
Then equilibrium (your 'new normal')
After you quit drinking, your brain has to find an equilibrium again with the production of these chemicals.
At first it over produces them (You feel great, problem solved eg 'pink cloud')
Then it over compensates and underproduces them (You feel low again, why am I doing this etc 'the wall')
Then they swing up and down twoard equilibrium (good days and bad days)
Then equilibrium (your 'new normal')
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by BASEjumper
I'm reminded of a lecture I heard once about the stages of recovery. It was about how as you drink alcohol it stimulates the production of chemicals in your brain that make you feel good. When you drink heavily/regularly, your brain stops producing them naturally as it's getting them from the alcohol.
After you quit drinking, your brain has to find an equilibrium again with the production of these chemicals.
At first it over produces them (You feel great, problem solved eg 'pink cloud')
Then it over compensates and underproduces them (You feel low again, why am I doing this etc 'the wall')
Then they swing up and down twoard equilibrium (good days and bad days)
Then equilibrium (your 'new normal')
After you quit drinking, your brain has to find an equilibrium again with the production of these chemicals.
At first it over produces them (You feel great, problem solved eg 'pink cloud')
Then it over compensates and underproduces them (You feel low again, why am I doing this etc 'the wall')
Then they swing up and down twoard equilibrium (good days and bad days)
Then equilibrium (your 'new normal')
How does post acute withdrawals play into these stages?
Gone In
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by Spawn
how long do these stages last?
We were cautioned though that relapse at that stage and beyond still happens, as now you have adapt to your new equilibrium state without the crutch of alcohol. Turning your 'new normal' into just normal. Some adapt easier than others.
Originally Posted by Spawn
How does post acute withdrawals play into these stages?
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by cfm
The #1 job of a sponsor is to impart hope. Ebby was the guy who said "Bill you don't have to live this way. Iv'e found a way out!........That's hope................My sponsors been sober 37 yrs, and if he got drunk tomorrow he'd still be my sponsor. Because he is the man who brought me hope a long time ago. The fact that he got drunk would be irrelavent....Just keep doin what your doin.
Hope itself is not enough to keep a drunk sober. Not nearly enough. I know its not enough from my own experience, and from working with other drunks. If hope was enough of a gift to make a sponsor getting drunk irrelavent, AA would never have come into existence.
The number 1 job of a sponsor is to guide a sponsee through the AA program. I appreciate you have your opinion, but when you say someone with 37 years getting drunk is irrelavent for still qualifying to be a sponsor, and they also would remain your sponsor ongoing, you have an opinion that to me is more fantasy then reality.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by cfm
A sponsor is a person who accepts responsibilty for another person and their behavior during a period of appenticeship, instruction and probation. When one joins AA one beginns a 5 yr apprenticeship, period.
When I joined AA I did not begin an apprenticeship. Announcing that other members begin a 5 year anything is hugely misinformed on so many levels.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by cfm
Sherees:
Just keep doin it. I want you to think about something. Bill W. referred to Ebby as his sponsor until the day both of them died. But wait, Ebby kept on getting drunk all the time. True, Ebby died with 6 yrs sober, but that was only because they shipped him to Texas near the end of his life and a group babysat him for the good of the fellowship. So back to the question, How can you have a sponsor who's always getting drunk???.............Easy, a sponsor has many jobs as you will learn, however Ebby fulfilled the #1 job. He was the man who brought Bill HOPE! H O P E!!!!!...............The #1 job of a sponsor is to impart hope. Ebby was the guy who said "Bill you don't have to live this way. Iv'e found a way out!........That's hope................My sponsors been sober 37 yrs, and if he got drunk tomorrow he'd still be my sponsor. Because he is the man who brought me hope a long time ago. The fact that he got drunk would be irrelavent....Just keep doin what your doin.
Just keep doin it. I want you to think about something. Bill W. referred to Ebby as his sponsor until the day both of them died. But wait, Ebby kept on getting drunk all the time. True, Ebby died with 6 yrs sober, but that was only because they shipped him to Texas near the end of his life and a group babysat him for the good of the fellowship. So back to the question, How can you have a sponsor who's always getting drunk???.............Easy, a sponsor has many jobs as you will learn, however Ebby fulfilled the #1 job. He was the man who brought Bill HOPE! H O P E!!!!!...............The #1 job of a sponsor is to impart hope. Ebby was the guy who said "Bill you don't have to live this way. Iv'e found a way out!........That's hope................My sponsors been sober 37 yrs, and if he got drunk tomorrow he'd still be my sponsor. Because he is the man who brought me hope a long time ago. The fact that he got drunk would be irrelavent....Just keep doin what your doin.
2 people in recovery can share a special bond........which is cool.
Recovery is suppose to teach us not to judge....but to forgive!
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