2granddaughters

Beanie 1961, I would say that AA is probably not the problem.

We all go through those times of ups and downs and that is where a sponsor is so important to help you through the low spots.

You feel like you are done with it, eh?? Are you forgetting that it was your best judgment and management that got you to AA in the first place ??!! Good luck !

The alternatives to AA for an alcoholic that I am familiar with are incarceration, Institutionalization and death.

I wish you the best in whatever decision you make.

Bob R

Sapling

Meetings are half of what AA is...It tells you in the book what half measures get you ......Nothing. You're burned out on nothing.

Spawn

church?

Spawn

any relapse prevention programs in your area?

Spawn

miamifella

I am not in AA or any 12-step program anymore. But I gave it my best shot.

I had a sponsor waiting for me to get through the first three steps. I read the Big Book. I read the Basic Text. I did some online worksheets and read some pages. But it did not work. The more I opened my mind, the more I found I was further from belief.

I feel like I can say it was not the program for me. Much as I admire much about the 12-step path and much as the principles of its literature are part of my recovery, the practice was not for mine.

However, when I hear people after less than six months and no attempt to work the steps say that they are burned out....I cannot but help but ask "How?" If you cannot handle this light load, how will you handle the real difficulties in life?

I suspect that you may not be completely honest with yourself. You may hate AA. And you have the right to hate it. But I think you need to give it a real shot---or at the very least get honest about why you want to leave it--before you can say it is not for you.

You don't know yet whether its your program or not. Find out! You can explore alternatives at the same time, but do not leave yourself without some program that can help you. You cannot afford to wing this.

DayTrader

I have a suggestion.... and I make it because based upon what you've posted, you've found, like I did, that meetings don't cure what's wrong with me. I thought that going to meetings was "doing AA." I was wrong...it's a teeney tiney part.

Anyway, here's my suggestion:
Ask around the meetings you go to for Tim T. He's in Cleveland but I don't know his homegroup.

Here's one of his open talks from 1999 that he did up here in Michigan: XA-Speakers - The lights are on!

I recall he's probably in his 50's or so....maybe a little older. He's about 5'8" and has kinda long hair (that was a couple years ago tho).

Tell him what you posted (I quoted it above). .....listen to him.....then make a decision about what your next move is. As several before me have posted......you have a sponsor and you go to meetings - check.....but you're not part of RECOVERY in AA. .....and you don't have to be....plenty of ppl spend decades in meetings, don't drink and never recover because they need to work the steps to do that....but they never work the steps. I guess that works for them.....doesn't work for me though.

good luck to ya......

Bamboozle

Hello, Beanie.

Here's some other ideas in the secular forum (don't know if all the links work ):

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...cular-web.html


When I started out I spent a lot of time at SR...now...not so much. Been back here the last few days to get a little extra support. It helps talking to people who know.

Mostly I just live my life. Hope you find what you're looking for.

Db1105

At a little over three months, I was far from being burnt out with AA. About that time my head was really starting to clear and I had to decide what I wanted to do with myself.

As far as the OP, it sounds like you're burned out of going to meetings. Since you admit you are not working the steps then you really aren't working the program.
Any alcoholic can stop drinking. Staying stopped is the issue for many of us. Not drinking is only part of getting sober. I had to change my whole life around. In AA, you do that by working the 12 steps.

digderidoo

Try a different sponsor maybe, or try different meetings than the one you're used to. But most of all try the steps.

winslynn

If you are not working the steps and especially if you haven't started the 4th step by about month 4 or 5 then this is exactly what happens.
1,2,3,and out the door.

Cheers,Steve

RobbyRobot

Good going on your 110 days. Awesome!

You know what? It's not going to matter whatsoever except to you whether your done with AA or not. And that's okay. Some people feel the need to re-direct and re-focus your journey into something they understand from their own experience. No problem, really, they're just sharing ESH since your asking for suggestions. People can only share what they have and not what they don't have.

What most folk in AA have to give are suggestions of what worked for them and what didn't work as well. The other thing, is AA folk mostly have a sponsor-sponsee relationship with whomever respectively, and this relationship often can be the definitive experience(s) which greatly contributes to or can take away from the AA Way of sobriety.

AA is more than living a recovering-played-out existance sans alcohol. AA is a Way. AA defines for its own purposes what alcoholism is and is not, and what recovery is and is not. AA defines who are and who are not members in good standing. AA is a teaching and learning experiential sequenced program which promises alcoholism the illness can be arrested and stopped while at the same time the alcoholic can enjoy a rich and fulfilling spiritually sober life as promised and defined by AA.

I live such a sober life as promised by AA. It's a not a life easily liviable for everyone of course, including even those folk choosing to live the AA Way. There is more requirement to the AA Way then one having a simple desire to be sober and be a recovering alcoholic, which itself merely defines proper membership standing. Many folk become lost and discouraged waiting for promises which have never came to be experienced by the respective waiter. Many alcoholics don't complete the Twelve Steps and so of course don't live the AA Way of sobriety in their daily affairs. Many folk even declare for themselves they are indeed authentic AA, and yet, sadly, their lives do not show the fruits and treasures of their extensive and complicated labors so they actually have nothing more then mere bravado and circumstance to offer themselves and any anybody else. Epic fail. Its okay though. There is always a new today to begin anew and its never over until its really over, you know?

AA Way is about being AA sober. Its about being free from alcoholism absolutely and unconditionally free. There are no strings attached to AA sobriety. There are of course strings attached to being spiritual, yes, but of course AA did not itself create the universal requirements for all authentic spiritual experiences being: faith embraced for the singular purposes of works.

So many AA members become completely lost on the spiritual requirements of the program. How sad and unfortunate. As a recovered alcoholic member of AA my spiritual requirement for AA sobriety has absolutely nothing to do with my Christian life. Zero. Nada. Ziltch. My sober life spiritually defines a Higher Power of my own understanding, and that is all that is needed to live the AA Way. My Christian responsibilities however, demand a much greater requirement from my life than does AA program ever ask of me.

I am 30 years AA sober, and I'm speaking now from this accumulated ongoing life experience. What does this experience actually mean? Well, it means I'm sober more years now then I was alive when drunk. Most of my life has now been lived the AA Way. I can do this in my sleep now, no problemo. Its a life being lived and not a dream in the waiting. Its a sober freedom created within and not an alcoholic prison busted out from. Its a gift earned and not a debt owed. Its a journey enjoyed and not a mis-adventure of trials and tribulations. Its what was originally sought by me, promised to me, and now enjoyed by me these many years.

I was done and completed the Twelve Steps after three months. I haven't had a sponsor since completing those 12 steps. I have been to hundreds of AA meetings - some good, some bad, some great. So what. I am a recovered alcoholic.

The AA Way is the program and more -- it requires living a sober life as defined by AA. Its not for everybody. Complete directions are easily found in the AA Big Book. Live and let live with other AA members. Be both a giver and a receiver. Be both a talker and a listener. Be a doer and a changer. Always take responsible action. Be in the moment.

There are many great workable life-saving alternatives to AA. Do not be in agreement with whomever that somehow those AA alternatives are less inherently of real authentic value then is AA. I do not speak for AA, no one person can or does. I am speaking though from my experiences with AA sobriety: AA Way is not the only way, and may not be the best way either, for you going forward. It's always YOUR call. Don't be dismayed by the failures of others and dont be dumbfounded by the successes of still others as you walk your journey. Embrace all those who happily and with humility walk their own talk.

Be true to yourself as you continue to quit drinking, and always do the next right thing to ensure a happy and satisfying life sans alcohol and by choosing to so do, you'll be doing whats right for YOU, today, and into tomorrow too.

LDT

RobbyRobot......so thoroughly and beautifully stated!

What more could possibly be said?

Thank you.

onlythetruth

If you don't like AA, then don't go. It's not the only way to quit drinking. The alternatives to AA aren't jails, institutions and death: those are the alternatives to recovering from your addiction.

Take a look at SMART Recovery, LifeRing and SOS.