weekend alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
weekend alcoholic
Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum in order to get some support and exchange experience. I'm 32y, have a nice job, boyfriend, I have to admit I have no big problems, except drinking. I'm a nervous person, and worried and when I don't have reasons. I'm drinking only when I go out, but until I faint. No memories, but from stories, recently I became aggressive, I tun into some kind of monster! Right now I'm in hangover, and I realized I need help, and that I'm an alcoholic. My boyfriend is the one who is suffering too, I destroy him almost every weekend. So I think the best is to completely stop, learn how to relax and have fun without alcohol. So if anyone has similar problem, or just want to give some advice, I would gladly read it. In my country there is AA, but it is not something that it's really functioning. Thank in advance for any response 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 179
Oliviaa!I am happy to hear you have decided to take control of your situation.
You will find a ton of support, information and resources here in the forums to help you and the people here are amazing!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 81
Hi, I'm also 32 and kind of in the same boat. I was a binge drinker and decided to quit booze and my antidepressants at the same time. Alcohol and I don't go well together. Good for you for deciding to stop, and hope it goes well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
In looking back at my drinking history I
realized that life never got better but worsened.
Quickly, Rapidly, Progressively. At age 30
with a little family of my own, i did the mom
and wife thing and still picked times to drink
for all sorts of reasons.
Then my life became unmanageable, restless,
irritable and quite discontent. Because I didnt
have a drinking buddy and wanted one, i went
to clubs for fun which i never wanted to end.
This lead to arguements a horrible accident then
wanting to end my failure of a life. Family stepped
in with help where I began my recovery journey
21 yrs ago in a 28 day rehab picking up the tools
and knowledge of my alcoholism.
Back then, like many, i didnt think i had a problem
with alcohol. I was a functioning drinker who thought
i could drink anyone under the table or could hold
my liquor like a normal person.
In rehab, i was armed with knowledge of alcoholism
and how it affected me and those around me. I
definitely learned I was a true alcoholic, unlike a
normal drinker who could take a sip and walk
away.
What alcoholic takes a sip of anything? Especially
alcohol. This alcoholic couldnt take A Sip and there
was NEVER enough alcohol to satisfy my cravings
for it. That was then and that is now. NEVER will
there EVER be enough alcohol in this world to
satisfy me. EVER.
To drink for me is to die or go crazy. In fact my
family thought i had something wrong mentally
with me when I swallowed a hand full of pills that
very night after a horrible arguement with my husband
to end a dare i made with him.
Thank God that attempt failed because i would
be here to share my experience with alcohol with
you.
21 yrs of recovery living passin on my own ESH,
experiences, strengths and hopes of what it was
like before, during and after alcohol with others
still suffering with addiction has kept me sober a
many one days at a time to get me where I am
today.
Happy, Joyous and Free.
realized that life never got better but worsened.
Quickly, Rapidly, Progressively. At age 30
with a little family of my own, i did the mom
and wife thing and still picked times to drink
for all sorts of reasons.
Then my life became unmanageable, restless,
irritable and quite discontent. Because I didnt
have a drinking buddy and wanted one, i went
to clubs for fun which i never wanted to end.
This lead to arguements a horrible accident then
wanting to end my failure of a life. Family stepped
in with help where I began my recovery journey
21 yrs ago in a 28 day rehab picking up the tools
and knowledge of my alcoholism.
Back then, like many, i didnt think i had a problem
with alcohol. I was a functioning drinker who thought
i could drink anyone under the table or could hold
my liquor like a normal person.
In rehab, i was armed with knowledge of alcoholism
and how it affected me and those around me. I
definitely learned I was a true alcoholic, unlike a
normal drinker who could take a sip and walk
away.
What alcoholic takes a sip of anything? Especially
alcohol. This alcoholic couldnt take A Sip and there
was NEVER enough alcohol to satisfy my cravings
for it. That was then and that is now. NEVER will
there EVER be enough alcohol in this world to
satisfy me. EVER.
To drink for me is to die or go crazy. In fact my
family thought i had something wrong mentally
with me when I swallowed a hand full of pills that
very night after a horrible arguement with my husband
to end a dare i made with him.
Thank God that attempt failed because i would
be here to share my experience with alcohol with
you.
21 yrs of recovery living passin on my own ESH,
experiences, strengths and hopes of what it was
like before, during and after alcohol with others
still suffering with addiction has kept me sober a
many one days at a time to get me where I am
today.
Happy, Joyous and Free.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Oliviaa - So glad to have you with us! You never have to be alone with this.
I wish at 32 I had seen the light the way you have. I knew I drank too much on weekends, but decided I could control it if I just used enough willpower. Only when I had destroyed my life did I realize willpower is no weapon against alcoholism. My weekend drinking eventually carried over into the rest of the week, & in the end 24/7 drinking. So you are wise to take control of this now. We are here for you & want to help.
I wish at 32 I had seen the light the way you have. I knew I drank too much on weekends, but decided I could control it if I just used enough willpower. Only when I had destroyed my life did I realize willpower is no weapon against alcoholism. My weekend drinking eventually carried over into the rest of the week, & in the end 24/7 drinking. So you are wise to take control of this now. We are here for you & want to help.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome Ryan, glad you're here. This is a great place to get support, keep reading and posting. I've learnt about many different methods of recovery on here that I'd never even have heard of if I hadn't come here...I'm even thinking AA might be good which I'd totally ruled out before..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
Thank you all!! 
I felt so terrible and embarrassed this morning, I made a scene last night, I just can't believe what horrible things I’ve said, like it wasn't me, but it is me, and I have to accept it. Today I was on the phone with my really good friend and she has the same problem. Actually all my friends are heavy drinkers, and what is so sad that everyone is well educated and smart. But obviously that can only guarantee a good job and money for parties ). I really believe that just stooping drinking isn't enough, we have to completely change routines, and that is the harder part. What will I do on Fridays evening? Everybody is parting somewhere, and I have to avoid that kind of places for some time. I can be with you guys for start .
I felt so terrible and embarrassed this morning, I made a scene last night, I just can't believe what horrible things I’ve said, like it wasn't me, but it is me, and I have to accept it. Today I was on the phone with my really good friend and she has the same problem. Actually all my friends are heavy drinkers, and what is so sad that everyone is well educated and smart. But obviously that can only guarantee a good job and money for parties ). I really believe that just stooping drinking isn't enough, we have to completely change routines, and that is the harder part. What will I do on Fridays evening? Everybody is parting somewhere, and I have to avoid that kind of places for some time. I can be with you guys for start .
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
Oliviaa, hi we are all finding other things to do that dont involve drinking. And hey we are surprised that a world exists when we first find it.
It isnt like coming out of the wardrobe into Narnia, it can be hard work, there are all sorts of triggers around you in daily life. You have to learn to cope with those. However, from someone who has a history of let us say "misjudged" emails and "regrettable" text messages whilst on the sauce, believe me sober life is much better, not only can you go back to a someone's house (and not to apologise) you can get to like yourself better too
Hope to see you around the forums
Billy
It isnt like coming out of the wardrobe into Narnia, it can be hard work, there are all sorts of triggers around you in daily life. You have to learn to cope with those. However, from someone who has a history of let us say "misjudged" emails and "regrettable" text messages whilst on the sauce, believe me sober life is much better, not only can you go back to a someone's house (and not to apologise) you can get to like yourself better too
Hope to see you around the forums
Billy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 6
Well I used to like myself more when I was drunk, and now I hate myself. I know everything about drunk calls, texts, emails, but they invented the whole bunch of application for phones, even ***** has that option to solve some math before you press send lol. Everything to make you feel more comfortable while drinking and not to embarrass yourself . They are just evil .
I know it is better, I'm even going to make a list of all good things that they are waiting for me in sober life
. They are just evil .I know it is better, I'm even going to make a list of all good things that they are waiting for me in sober life
Pa**ot Momma
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 149
Oliviaa, you said that AA is not very organized I guess in your country. There are two Online AA meetings on this site every week. There are also other online meetings. Maybe you could get some help there!!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
One of AA's Traditions states that "each group needs the least possible organization." Somehow, it all works to help people become sober. Without working the program as suggested, how can a judgement call be made?
AVRT works well, too!
AVRT works well, too!
Professional Drunk
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 465
Hi Oliviaa,
I know exactly how you feel. I used to dread waking up on Sunday mornings to deal with the foggy memories from the night before. I used to be a fun drunk, but as my alcohol intake increased over time, I became an angry and belligerent drunk. I would start fights and insult people for no reason at all. I closed my Facebook acct and erased a bunch of numbers so I wouldnt be tempted to 'reach out' to people when drunk. I would call ex-gf's or make fun of people's pics on Facebook and it all seemed like a perfectly good thing to do at the time haha.
Good news is, I don't embarrass myself like that sober!
I know exactly how you feel. I used to dread waking up on Sunday mornings to deal with the foggy memories from the night before. I used to be a fun drunk, but as my alcohol intake increased over time, I became an angry and belligerent drunk. I would start fights and insult people for no reason at all. I closed my Facebook acct and erased a bunch of numbers so I wouldnt be tempted to 'reach out' to people when drunk. I would call ex-gf's or make fun of people's pics on Facebook and it all seemed like a perfectly good thing to do at the time haha.
Good news is, I don't embarrass myself like that sober!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
welcome to SR oliviaa
I certainly don't miss thinking about what I did last night
Getting sober certainly involves changes - but no one would be here if we felt we were losing out on the deal - my life is immeasurably better in all respects for being sober
D
I certainly don't miss thinking about what I did last night
Getting sober certainly involves changes - but no one would be here if we felt we were losing out on the deal - my life is immeasurably better in all respects for being sober
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 234
Yeah, it comes in all kinds of different forms. A lot of people seem to think that you need to drink (heavy) everyday to be considered an alki, but that is not the case. You have found the right place to vent your frustrations. I wish you the best. AA is not for everyone nor does it work for everyone, so don't worry about going to AA meetings. The recovery community has changed over the years and AA is more of just a suggestion. You'll be just as successful with it as you would without it. You could try meetup.com for some fun gatherings on weekends.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: pennsylvania
Posts: 30
I am also a 32 up female and was a weekend binge drinker. I blacked out every Friday and Saturday pretty much from age 15 to 31. I would get terrible hangovers, drive drunk, wake up in strange places with strange guys, get kicked out of bars, lose phones, money, purses, etc. would post ridiculous things on Facebook and make calls and texts that were most times very mean. The morning that I woke up missing my front teeth, I realized that I had a serious problem.
A friend suggested that I contact a number provided at work for substance abuse problems. I was directed to a therapist, who was the first person to tell me that I was an alcoholic. She referred me to intensive outpatient rehab (IOP). It is a program that I went to a group session for 3 hours after work, 3 nights a week, plus a 1 on 1 session. It was definitely the best decision I ever made. It took awhile for me to realize that I could be an alcoholic even though I didn't drink every day or have an legal, family or employment issues. And that is something that honestly, I still to this day sometimes struggle with. But deep down I know that I am an alcoholic. I sometimes go to AA meetings and have made a coupe of friends there - but it is not something that I am actively involved in. I instead made lifestyle changes. I work out a lot more than I previously did and have lost 25 lbs in the last year. I also have started volunteering with various organizations dealing win special needs kids and the homeless. I also still see a therapist every couple of weeks. Like I said, sometimes I still struggle but I think I am on my way to a much happier life.
A friend suggested that I contact a number provided at work for substance abuse problems. I was directed to a therapist, who was the first person to tell me that I was an alcoholic. She referred me to intensive outpatient rehab (IOP). It is a program that I went to a group session for 3 hours after work, 3 nights a week, plus a 1 on 1 session. It was definitely the best decision I ever made. It took awhile for me to realize that I could be an alcoholic even though I didn't drink every day or have an legal, family or employment issues. And that is something that honestly, I still to this day sometimes struggle with. But deep down I know that I am an alcoholic. I sometimes go to AA meetings and have made a coupe of friends there - but it is not something that I am actively involved in. I instead made lifestyle changes. I work out a lot more than I previously did and have lost 25 lbs in the last year. I also have started volunteering with various organizations dealing win special needs kids and the homeless. I also still see a therapist every couple of weeks. Like I said, sometimes I still struggle but I think I am on my way to a much happier life.
So it goes
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Manchester UK
Posts: 1,620
I think you are right there legal. You dont need to do AA, but if you dont you do need to make the right lifestyle choices, be totally honest with yourself (none of this one drink wont hurt nonsense) and become the better person you are capable of being. Some people use AA for that, some use other methods.
I have come to the realisation that I cannot drink
Step 1 of AA is piercingly correct in its simplicity (and the simplest things are the best)
1) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
I have taken that aboard, I do go to AA regularly , but do the spiritual things outside the fellowship (I never was a joiner). I also use SR.
It has worked for me. I dont have a desire to drink, and that is the intended outcome. I do know I have to keep working at it though.
Whatever works is my motto.
I have come to the realisation that I cannot drink
Step 1 of AA is piercingly correct in its simplicity (and the simplest things are the best)
1) We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
I have taken that aboard, I do go to AA regularly , but do the spiritual things outside the fellowship (I never was a joiner). I also use SR.
It has worked for me. I dont have a desire to drink, and that is the intended outcome. I do know I have to keep working at it though.
Whatever works is my motto.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,243
oliviaa,
Welcome to SR and congrats on your decision to change your life.
The meetings are part of AA and how you connect with others for support but the what really makes AA work for individuals is the working of the steps with a sponsor. When we are committed enough to become transparent and accountible to another person and start working on what are extremely personal matters its shows a huge commitment and resolve on our part.
There are lots of different types of AA meetings... speaker, big book, step as well as discussion. I always liked the first 3 and not open discussion so much.
Therapy with someone who knows recovery and reading lots of books on the subject are highly recommened as well.
You might want to try several of those AA meetings several times as you already know you have the time and it sure will not hurt your efforts!
Welcome to SR and congrats on your decision to change your life.
The meetings are part of AA and how you connect with others for support but the what really makes AA work for individuals is the working of the steps with a sponsor. When we are committed enough to become transparent and accountible to another person and start working on what are extremely personal matters its shows a huge commitment and resolve on our part.
There are lots of different types of AA meetings... speaker, big book, step as well as discussion. I always liked the first 3 and not open discussion so much.
Therapy with someone who knows recovery and reading lots of books on the subject are highly recommened as well.
You might want to try several of those AA meetings several times as you already know you have the time and it sure will not hurt your efforts!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 732
I drank mostly on the weekends, too. It put me to asleep and I woke up not remembering. I didn't do crazy stuff, I didn't do anything. Now, I have more weekend to enjoy and wonderful times with my husband and kids that I remember. It great and if I could do it, so can you.
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