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Ego?

Old 04-02-2012, 06:55 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Wait how are we defining ego in this thread? According to my kindle's dictionary it is; a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance. That is what I thought ego was more or less. But from what I am gathering AA has a different deffinition or an additional one at least which is; a persons sense of seperation from the rest of the human race? I am not making a statment I am asking a question just so I don't **** anyone off.

I ask because as I stated before I tend to think very little of myself and in most situations have almost no self esteam, what little I do have is usually situational and has only been gained through continualy proving to myself and others that I can handle whatever the situation is well. At the same time I do have a very real sense of seperation from most people and am a self described weird *******. This is usually confirmed by anyone that gets to know me well. I have in fact been jokingly described as the weirdest person that someone has ever met. This coupled with my observations of people and knowing what i do about myself, has created this sense of seperation. So is that ego? I don't think of it as such, if anything it makes me more self concious, and for a long time deflated my sense of self worth. I am growing more and more comfortable with myself and my excentricities, but I would'nt call that egotistical.

Just curious which definition we were talking about here.
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Old 04-02-2012, 07:00 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by stairs View Post
Do you think alcoholics have huge egos?
An unreasonable amount of pridefulness?

My sponsor invited me to breakfast, it's her treat.

Right away I'm like, "Oh no you don't have to do that". Like god forbid I accept breakfast from my sponsor. Oh.my.god.
So I realize I am doing this while we're still on the phone. It's a leftover from "I don't need your help"/"I can handle it" with some of "I don't deserve to be treated, look how much money I blew on alcohol" thrown into the mix.

I caught myself. I was being an idiot. I said, Wait a minute. and explained to her what was going through my twisted brain.
A combination of pride and mental self flagellation.

Anybody else have this weird kind of thinking?
When I am sober, I honestly say that I have the ego on it. And when I am drunk, It feels like my ego is freely controlling me. Alcohol let's my egos destroy me - not thinking ways to stop it. That is why I hated drinking already and stopped.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:38 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I wouldn't describe myself as a person with a big ego or too much pride. I am, however, very open to shooting someone else's ego down if they intend to use me as a means to stroke it.

If a person offers to pay for my meal out of kindness, of course I will take and appreciate it. That said, if somebody tries pulling out their credit card to display top-dog status at the table-- they got another thang comin'. If that person demands that I allow them to pay; then fine, I won't make a scene. But, I will leave an extra tip equivalent to the bill plus 25%.
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Old 04-02-2012, 12:57 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Boleo View Post
If there is one trait that distinguishes us alki's, it's defiance. We defied those who told us not to start drinking. We defied those who told us to stop drinking and we defied those who told us we could not stop on our own.
"Defiance? Why....I'm NOT defiant. I'm even kinda insulted you'd say I'm defiant. I mean, I may have a pretty firm opinions from time to time and I may not bow to EVERY rule out there, but that's not really being defiant. I'm just a nice guy, doing what everyone else is doing, but I seem to have all the bad luck."

...... ^^^^^^^^^ pretty-much word-for word that came out of my mouth when a therapist (also in AA) "told" me I was as defiant as she'd ever seen.

gotta love it.....when I'm defiant IN my response about not being defiant.



-- I'd probably add in "perfectionists" too - along with defiance. When you're running the world, it's gotta be juuuuuuuuuust right.
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Old 04-02-2012, 01:17 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Big egos?
Some. More than in the general population. But if it's any consolation, the ones with the huge egos, feel (not sure who said it) like worms..... but VERY IMPORTANT worms.

Defiant?
I am reminded that while you can sure tell an alcoholic.... you can't tell them much.
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