miamifella

I thought he sounded very AA too. His second step is really an admission of powerlessness and an assertion that he could not stay sober alone--which is what the AA literature says. (The BB says that we should ask for help in staying sober, although in my experience members are discouraged from admitting the direct need for help that Carr readily cops to.)

GrowingDaily

I agree w/ Vinyl. I didn't see much of a problem with it, particularly after the author underscored the fact more than once that this was his method, not something everyone else should follow.

I also agree with the author's view on the powerless bit, in relation to my own efforts. I believe in a higher power, but I also believe in my own power. Confidence in my ability to succeed is, as far as I'm concerned, critical for my success. But just like the author - that's what works for me. That said, I think there's a deeper value in the 12 steps that the author is overlooking.

PaleMale

As someone else mentioned, he took the HIV test long after he started seeing "Molly". Sorry, but that's a real jerk thing to do! Wonder if she'll find THAT sexy...

I find almost no spiritual (humble) growth or life affirming about this story. His life is as narrow, self absorbed and cynical it was before.

I wish him the best and it certainly takes time to develop a quality sobriety. His path has just begun.

BlueMoon

Step Three: Don't Fear Failure
Try to figure out why you fell off the wagon and vow never to do it again.

I “fell off the wagon” for EIGHT YEARS – each time SWEARING that I’d never do it again. Then I figured out that the REASON I drank was BECAUSE I’M AN ALCOHOLIC and I need HELP to achieve/maintain sobriety.


Step Three: Don't Fear Failure (again)
If you do screw up once, forget it. You're human. Give yourself one chance, and don't even feel the need to share your failure with anyone.

Step Five: Stop Lying
I'd always had a problem with truth—

No doubt. I’ve always considered “omitted truths” to be the same as a lie – especially when it involves people who care about you + who are trying to help.


Step Five: Stop Lying
Shortly after I quit drinking, I also decided to quit lying, cold turkey.

Except for when it meant telling the truth obviously.


Step Six: Stop Apologizing
In AA, they're very clear on what to do about friends you have wronged. Except where it would be harmful (for them), you should contact everyone you've upset, apologize, and do some unspecified thing to make it up to them. But this struck me as self-indulgent.

Strongly disagree but I won’t expand on that statement.


Step Seven: Rediscover Dating
Molly reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "Honesty is sexy." I suppose she was telling the truth: We've been together for almost two years.

There’s that pesky Truth again . . .


Step Eight: Replace Your Ridiculous Drunken Stories With Ridiculous Sober Ones
Step Nine: Spend Money on Stuff You Won't Lose

Bragging.


Step Ten: Take a Difficult Test

Bragging.


Step Eleven: Work Nicer, Not Just Harder and Smarter
For most of my career, I was neither a functioning nor a nonfunctioning alcoholic.

That must be why it two years to get back into his field.


Step Twelve: Forget Everything You've Just Read

DONE.

DataDog

I listened to an interview of this guy on NPR.

He said one of his reasons for writing the article was to come out publicly about his drinking. The article itself was an exercise in staying sober. Mainly for the reasons he claims in step 2. He was proclaiming his sobriety and asking everyone to call him on his ******** if they ever caught him drinking again.

stillsleeping

Hmmm. Could be that even though he would have spent weeks planning and then probably at least a couple of days writing and proofing the article, and then his editor would have read it carefully and discussed alterations and clarifications....

Yeah, I guess it's possible that after all of that his key and humble message of "please pull me up if you spot any ********" wasn't clearly conveyed.

But it sounds more to me like everyone pointed out he was being an arrogant *sshole and he responded with "no wait, wait, I didn't mean it like that, I meant the OPPOSITE of that..."

Whatever. I'm glad the dude's clean. I don't like him.

ReadyAndAble

Step 13: Write a story and let the Wall Street Journal excerpt it, in hopes people will pay $1.99 to download the full-length version (yes, there's more where that came from).

Sure you don't want to get to know him a bit better, stillsleeping? Because let's face it, that $1,000 pen isn't paying for itself...

vinyl

Tough crowd.

littlefish

I say good on him and it's great he is sober and like thousands of others did it alone and without AA.

but, I picture him shrugging and saying "I got nothing"...if I were to ask him to design a program for this alcoholic:
Not male, (a middle aged female), not dating, (in a +25 year marriage with kids), no public drinking, (lots of secret drinking), no friends at the pub to regal with stories of my escapades, (unless you consider tripping over the laundry basket drunk and dropping my hidden bottle of vodka exciting), no career, (got in the way of drinking), incredibly thrifty: (why spend 10 bucks on a glass of wine when I can buy a box???) and not the least bit interested in my small celebrity status. Oh, um, I have no small celebrity status!

ReadyAndAble

You may not be as well known, littlefish, but on this thread at least, you're a lot more well liked.

lol, don't worry vinyl, I have a feeling his ego can withstand the blow.

DataDog

I'm proud of him.

especially since he acknowledged the fact that everyone has to do it their own way.
I don't think it was really meant to be a how-to guide, but his how to guide.

If people can relate to only one of his 12 steps I think the article was successful.

NYCDoglvr

My hat is off to anyone who can stop drinking on their own. I tried and I can't. It was the fellowship of AA that I needed, the support of other alcoholics. But I'm glad this story ran because many people think AA is the only option, and it isn't. Keep trying and stick with whatever works for you.