You've read this before, I bet.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 45
Originally Posted by frances2011 
Welcome to SR Mark! So glad you posted.
My experience is that I quit drinking because I got sick and tired of the cycle of regret and self-loathing. My experience is that my low wasn't as catastrophic as others but it was plenty bad enough for me.
.
My experience is that I quit drinking because I got sick and tired of the cycle of regret and self-loathing. My experience is that my low wasn't as catastrophic as others but it was plenty bad enough for me.
.
Welcome to SR Mark. You'll get lots of help here. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 260
Thanks so much again to everyone who posted here. Physically, coming-off-booze-again isn't too bad at all, having gone through the worst of the headaches and sweats and sleeplessness in September. It's the staring into the maw of the rest of my life that's keeping me peevish at the moment. Like, today Mrs Marksthespot says, ‘Hey, I’ve organised babysitting so we can go out for a meal on Thursday before the thing…’
And me of the past would smile and say, ‘That’ll be great,’ and think, ‘Hm, wonder how I can wangle it that I’m not driving, and how many I can get down during the meal, and whether they’ll have booze at the thing? Play my cards right and it could be a big-drinkun night. Bring it on…’
Me of the present smiles and says, ‘That’ll be great,’ and thinks, ‘What? A meal? A meal? What on earth is the point of going for a bloody meal if I can’t drink? And what if they have booze at the thing? What am I supposed to do, stand there with a glass of orange juice in my hand? Ugh.’
Which of course is how it played out. But it’s the me of the future I wonder about. Is that guy ever going to say, ‘That’ll be great,’ and mean it? Or is there always going to be a bit of him going, ‘What? A meal…?’ In other words, is there a spell you can cast to let that bit go and begin to enjoy something on its own terms, and can I get one for Thursday?
And me of the past would smile and say, ‘That’ll be great,’ and think, ‘Hm, wonder how I can wangle it that I’m not driving, and how many I can get down during the meal, and whether they’ll have booze at the thing? Play my cards right and it could be a big-drinkun night. Bring it on…’
Me of the present smiles and says, ‘That’ll be great,’ and thinks, ‘What? A meal? A meal? What on earth is the point of going for a bloody meal if I can’t drink? And what if they have booze at the thing? What am I supposed to do, stand there with a glass of orange juice in my hand? Ugh.’
Which of course is how it played out. But it’s the me of the future I wonder about. Is that guy ever going to say, ‘That’ll be great,’ and mean it? Or is there always going to be a bit of him going, ‘What? A meal…?’ In other words, is there a spell you can cast to let that bit go and begin to enjoy something on its own terms, and can I get one for Thursday?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 600
Hi Mark, fellow Brit here ... from the Midlands. Just want to pick up on something you said.
One thing that struck a cord with me is when somebody said after getting dry, 'the person that you are today will drink again'. Most of us can stop for a period of time, the problem alcoholics have (and i'm not calling you an alcoholic) is that we cannot stay stopped. If we want to stay stopped everything has to change, it takes time. Alcohol is just the symptom, a sticky plaster if you will to cover the wounds. What I had to figure out is what caused the wounds, why did I have to turn to alcohol to repair them.
All AA teaches you is to turn to a program of recovery to repair those wounds, rather than alcohol. If you are an alcoholic, like me, the person that you are has to change, otherwise you will drink again.
As for rock bottoms, your rock bottom doesn't have to be the same as other people's rock bottoms. Some other people may not be as low as yours, but if you're looking for it you'll always find somebody else worse off than you.
... I know that in a few months' time, it's going to be a distant memory, and I'll be thinking about drinking again.
All AA teaches you is to turn to a program of recovery to repair those wounds, rather than alcohol. If you are an alcoholic, like me, the person that you are has to change, otherwise you will drink again.
As for rock bottoms, your rock bottom doesn't have to be the same as other people's rock bottoms. Some other people may not be as low as yours, but if you're looking for it you'll always find somebody else worse off than you.
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 13,889
Originally Posted by MarkstheSpot
But it’s the me of the future I wonder about. Is that guy ever going to say, ‘That’ll be great,’ and mean it? Or is there always going to be a bit of him going, ‘What? A meal…?’ In other words, is there a spell you can cast to let that bit go and begin to enjoy something on its own terms, and can I get one for Thursday?
Keep working on remaining sober and in all likely hood things will be alright.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
